PC Terms for UN-PC Activities

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Biped, Feb 8, 2007.

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  1. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    After a thread on Chav-bashing, I've decided to start one to counter the menace of PC phrases and acronyms.

    The first is:

    Contact Counselling

    The Act by which someone who richly deserves it, gets counceled with a good beating

    Impact Therapy

    The act of giving someone a good beating to provide oneself with 'Anger Management Therapy'.

    These is someone elses, but brilliant all the same.

    Surprise Sex

    The act of giving someone sex when they weren't expecting or requesting it.

    Edited to delete naff comment.
  2. and you just ruined all your good work at the end............
  3. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Sorry, didn't think about that bit.
  4. Tenderising

    The liberal application of kidney punches during vaginal/anal sex

    (edited especially for bigbird)
  5. only anal???
  6. Consultation The process of asking people their opinions on an 'issue' and then doing whatever the fcuk you like anyway. Popularised by Bliar and the rest of his fatherless followers.
  7. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Ethnic Minority Inclusion

    Gang-banging african kids

    Debating Transport

    Stopping the cnut in front of you, and then smashing his face in through the drivers window

    Social Justice

    See 'Contact Counselling'
  8. Political Reality
    a. A convenient excuse for not doing something you know you ought to but don't want to.

    b. Corruption, nepotism or incompetence.

    Pastoral Care
    Private activities indulged in by members of the clergy, often involving choirboys.

    Community Justice
  9. A few adapted from civdiv:

    Interim Evaluation Meeting (IEM)

    The process of explaining to someone why they got it wrong, and gently suggesting alternative approaches. Such meetings should be compulsory for all major stakeholders and are usually called at short notice in order to address problems as they arise. See also ("Interview without tea or biscuits").

    Due Diligence

    The process of ensuring that, when someone is subject to an IEM as above, it is not you. (see also "arrse covering exercise", or "I wrote down that it wasn't going to be my fault")

    Risk Reduction Exercise
    See Fastmedic for a fuller explanation of this. Activities designed to reduce any of a variety of potential risks to oneself and others. (See "exemplary thrashing")

    Social consequences project
    Activities undertaken by one or more members of the project team intended to address social and/or environmental issues peripheral to the main project effort. Such activities may ... be designed to change behaviour or attitudes of target population groups. (See "I went back with my brother")

    Recent posters have provided excellent examples of all of these activities. Attention is drawn to the 3:1 rule, which states that at the point of effort a qualitative superiotrity of resources must be achieved before the action is undertaken. One British squaddie is usually enough, though.
  10. Stairwell Re-Education

    The art of repeatedly throwing someone down a set of stairs until they remember not to be a feckwit.

    Storeroom Re-Alignment
    As above but carried out in a quiet storeroom (usually a G10)

    the old favourite...
    Regimental Bath

    To bathe a grotbag in a bath usually filled with not so clean items.
  11. Adult Instructor (AI)

    A grown man who loves, nay, adores, the taste of sweet, pre-pubescent genitalia.
  12. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Research & Development (R&D)

    Find out where they live, visit them and provide 'Contact Counselling'
  13. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Deferred Approval

    The act of engaging in 'Surprise Sex' in anticipation and/or hope of a request from the other party coming later on
  14. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer


    No cnut, your ghetto is down that road, nah feck off before I start getting some 'Impact Therapy'
  15. Relationship Redefinement

    Telling your bird that unless she accepts the fact that you are going out with the lads for a beer and to watch the football, she can just fukc off!