Pay-back on a shite

#1
I've got a teenage kid (13) who finds it funny to knock on my house at all hours, throw things at my windows and other petty irritating stuff. He's in the same year as my son at school so I'm reluctant to make a big issue or it . .

However, the little shit made the mistake calling me up to try winding me and now I have his mobile number.

So fellow ARRSEr's, I'm looking for suitable pay-backs 10 fold.

I've already started registering it as an interest in PPI, but anything that may appear like genuine txt spam or nuisance calls is much appreciated

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#3
Had this problem before as well.
Went to there house and made it very clear IT wont happen again to the parents and the little shite. Bugger pissing about with him just knock the nail on the head.


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jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#6
He's clearly after male attention. Slowly insert your fingers in his tight virgin quim. Whisper to him how you love and care for him. Run your fingers through his hair and gently force his head towards your half erect member.
Let him sup on your manly protein and dilate him with an ever increasing number of digits.


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#7
Tazer the little cunt and then fuck his arse.
Then graffiti the local public toilets that said kid likes bum sex.
 
#10
You're being bullied by a 13 year old.
I was hoping to be bullied by a sexy 12 year old girl, but it appears I cant have everything in life I want

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#12
Make a fake hotmail account and a fake CV using that number for contact and then apply for as many gay bar/cross dressing/kinky jobs/gay escort stuff as you possible can and request a telephone interview on your cover letter cos you're really keen.
 
#13
I was hoping to be bullied by a sexy 12 year old girl, but it appears I cant have everything in life I want

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You could pretend to be a sexy young girl in order to chat him up and win him over, then if you get caught out just pretend it was a social experiment.

That should work.
 
#15
No, get this: wrap some dogshit (or your own) up in a newspaper, set fire to it , place it on his doorstep, ring the bell and scarper!

Or: turn his Milk-dial up to 10 pints a day.

Or, remove the batteries from his bicycle lights and place a dead haddock inside, he ll never suss out where the whiff is coming from.

Btw, the last fucker who did all this to me is in a wheel-chair after I accidently ran him over: whilst he was sat watching telly at home, those 40 Tonners go through brick walls like Exlax through a malnutritioned Ethiopian!

Hope this helps
 
#16
Advertise "your" car for sale. Make it a reasonably desirable make/model, at a knock down price due to imminent job loss, but ask potential callers to phone after 10.30pm due to shift work.

You know where he lives? If so, EVERY bit of junk mail you get courtesy of Royal Mail, respond to every offer or request more information, giving his parents address and his phone number.

Or a brief google on 'mobile phone pranks'

http://www.prankowl.com/

Or buy a £1 throw-away SIM card, over a period of three days make menacing phone calls to him, careful not to identify yourself. Throw away the SIM after 2-3 days.
 
#17
Or: turn his Milk-dial up to 10 pints a day.




Hope this helps

Turn his milk dial up to 10 pints a day? You vindictive bastard you.

The only questions might be:

how many 13 year olds have milk delivered?

What decade are you trapped in? Obviously one in which people had massive milk crates with dials on...
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#18
I once threw half a brick through the rear window of my mum's Vauxhall Cavalier and blamed it on a lad down the road who I didn't like.

The police got involved and he ended up getting a proper beating from his Dad.

He never fucked with me again.

Happy days.


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#19
Turn his milk dial up to 10 pints a day? You vindictive bastard you.

The only questions might be:

how many 13 year olds have milk delivered?

What decade are you trapped in? Obviously one in which people had massive milk crates with dials on...

Yeh, you couldnt get any worse in the 70/80s, those poor old OAP s we disliked were faced with a massive milk-bill at the end of the month.

But technology is advancing, nowadays the OAP s simply get burgaled, raped, tortured and murdered....... ...
 

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