Pavement Rage - oops its arrived

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Baz44, Jun 14, 2006.

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  1. Now I believe myself to be a reasonable sort of chap, but today I experienced my first (and only I hope) bout of pavement rage. On the daily grind to and from the office I prefer to take my time not rush and just watch the other ants hard at it rushing to and from like programmed exocet missiles.
    This morning however whilst walking to work I saw a young chap heading in my direction plugged into his MP3 player oblivious to the world around him and looking at the floor like most seem to in London. To avoid a collision I moved right, he wandered right, so I moved over to the left and ended up against the wall allowing him to pass to my right. However he wandered right and ended up stopping in front of me. I stood there and looked at him, he looked at me, there was a pause and he then moved to my right saying ‘Oh for fecks sake’ – wrong move! I did no more than grab him by the throat drag him round in front of me, unplugged him from his MP3 player so I had his undivided attention, and asked him if he had a problem. At that point he answered ‘no’ in a slight state of shock and I let him go and walked on saying in no uncertain terms he should be careful what he says and to whom. The cheeky tw*t I had spent the previous 30 secs trying to aviod him!

    I love this great city f ours but sometimes the people in it can be such retards!

    Have a nice day all!


    P.S I look forward to meeting this young chap tomorrow :) umberella at the ready!.
  2. Good move Baz, and i am loving the thought of umberella jousting complete strangers on the street, might try that one myself!!
  3. Nice one Baz. Just a shame that you released your 'vice like grip' on his throat :D
  4. If the BBC and the Guardian are to be believed you were lucky not to end up with a knife in hte ribs as every scrote out there is tooled up to the max
  5. Actually to be honest it was sight to see the faces of others as I walked away, talk about give me a wide birth everyone seemed to think I was the raving lunatic!

    Bah humbug to them all - I rarely strike first but if I am struck standby!

    Oh well tomorrow will tell I guess

  6. As long as you were careful not to knock the cad's bowler off, nasty business that.
  7. Its not so much the pedestrians that grip my sh1t, its the fcuking cyclists that think pavements are roads for bicycles. Get on the road you tw8ts and let the rest of us walk the pavements without fear of being creamed by a lycra clad w*nker crashing into us because he's too much of a p*ssy to mix it with the other road users. If you don't want to cycle on the road where you belong, then fcuking walk. Tw8ts.
  8. The Bulgarian Secret Service have a stock of Cold War surplus umbrellas that you might be interested in, ideal for firing ricin loaded pellets into people who get in your way.

    The “Georgi Markov Memorial Edition” umbrellas have solid gold ferules. If you’re going to kill, kill with style. :twisted:
  9. Do you have a link? :twisted:
  10. I also work in London & endure a mad rush every morning through the streets of Victoria. During the last month or so i made a decision. I decided that i was no longer going to move out of the way of the gormless & oblivious people that i often find my self dodging to & from work. I now just walk into people with an aggressive look on my face (no wonder people think londoners are rude). I have to say i dont do this to 'older' ladies & gentlemen only to those that look like they need to be walked into! i find it rather amusing & so far havent got into any difficulties. I think people are more suprised than anything, its not everyday you get boshed by a young lady such as my self. :)

    & dont get me started on people with umberellas!
  11. Trouble with ignorant headers like that is they would leap at going to the peelers and bubbling you for attempted murder or something ridiculous like that so they can sue you for max compensation. What they don't appreciate is that they have received free education and not a student loan in sight.

    Speak from bitter experience of educating ignorant t*ats.
  12. Spindarella, I have a hand bag, as opposed to one that goes over the shoulder, so if anyone really bugs me, I just let my arm swing a little more than normal to get up some momentum before impact... :D
  13. Ah yes, the hand bag method! think i will invest in the biggest pointiest one i can find for maximum effect!
  14. Oh Christ I have started a war on the streets! Is it really such a battle out there?

    As an Officer and a Gentleman I have to condone even my own actions and would not advocate that others follow in my example. Should you do so be mindful of the dangers (carrying of knives or umberela swords and como claims etc).
    However as an upstanding citizen of the community I would like to think I have made my contirbution to some young chaps education with no cost to him and no expense spared! I do hope he sees it that way.

    Have fun all :)
  15. I made my decision ages ago... It just winds me up to think that these people can be so gormless & get away with it! Is it really that hard to look where they are going?