Pasta recipes

Now I'm not a bad cook, in fact pretty good. My father taught me from a young age as "That way you won't have to rely on some bloody woman stopping you starving old boy"

So , for the new forum I offer my recipe for my favourite nosh (ok second favourite) Spaghetti Bolognese.

Now any fool can boil pasta, it ain't rocket science. However, since the Septics decided to use all the wheat in the world to keep their V8's going for a run down to the shops, the price of pasta has shot up. I've tried many different types of Spaghetti, but the one that represents excellent value for money , taste and al dente biteability is the brand from Lidl's in the 1KG blue pack , cost this week 0.85p

The secret is in the sauce, and this is my recipe for SB sauce. So , with the computer balanced on the sink , here is the walkthrough/talkthrough

Bolognese Sauce

You are going to need

1.5 lbs of canned tomatoes av. cost 28p 250-500g tins

1 big bastige strong onion

1 clove Garlic if you want, but I leave garlic out of anything I cook

2 cans tinned mushrooms - av. price 34p each.

Olive oil or Utterly Butterly if you want a fat bastard version.

8 ozs of beef mince, Safeway do a blinding deal on this at the moment £1.50

1 glass of full bodied red wine

One can of Wifebeater.

A tablespoon of concentrated tomato puree - 25p on average
Salt , though I prefer rock salt

Cheese, the usual stylee is Parmesan, but I love extra mature Cheddar on mine.

You can knock up the sauce in no time, but if you want to get all masterchef about it, you can leave the sauce in the fridge to sous and blend and all that old caper.


Crush the tomatoes in a glass bowl, or if you have a liquidiser you can do it in that. Chop the onion to taste, I like to chunky cut mine, peel and finely slice the garlic clove *shudder*

Get a casserole pot, or a sturdy deep frying pan , and coat the bottom in Olive oil, or a couple of pats of utterly butterly, drop the garlic in if you must, and let it fry till golden, which gives a good temperature indication.

Add the chopped onions and tinned mushrooms, and fry gently till the onions take on a glazed and transparent look.

This is important, keep stirring and add the minced beef , continue frying until it is browned without lumps. Throw in the glass of wine, and when that evaporates , stir in the tomatoes and the tomato puree.

Let it fry for another 5 mins, then add salt to taste. Set to low simmer for 45 minutes, Open the wifebeater and surf to Arrse.

Keep an eye on the sauce from time to time to make sure it doesn't dry out , I prefer my sauce thick and dense, so will add more tomatoes while it is cooking.

When the sauce looks really dark and rich , it is done.

The pasta should only take 8 minutes, so once done decant and splash with cold water to stop it cooking , add a knob of butterly and some extra mature cheese garnish, then plonk the sauce on top.

The business.

Do this for the wife/girlfriend , and I promise she will love you right up , oh yes :D
try snipping a couple of rashers of smoked streaky in at the mince frying stage PTP.....s'luverly!!


Having suffered a week of pasta as the kitchen Gestapo had a half marathon on Sunday may I be as bold as to suggest that you should not chuck the garlic in until after you have achieved that glazed look (with the onions). Burnt garlic can add a rather odd taste to things.
Use a mix of pork and beef transforms the dish. If you want to be really authentic you will use a "blitzed" chicken liver inthe ragu too...

Finally ASR Bolognesi would eat the sauce with tagliatelle. Apparently tagliatelle pasta are an exact length, the length being a specific fraction of the tower (taglia) of the cathedral of bolgna itself.

PS I personally love putanesca sauce on my spag'. Tbsp of capers, garlic, anchovies chopped very roughly (well it is a whore's sauce!) and some plum toms cooked off in "good olive oil". Cook it into a pasty saucey constituency and add a little wine for body if required (like I said it is a whore's sauce). Add pasta to sauce (always pasta to sauce by the way not t'other way round) and serve with freshly grated Pecorino or Parmegianno! Then back on the street corner, I want 1000 lira out of you tonight bitch...


Book Reviewer
Rather than livers, I prefer to add sweetbreads to mince mix. Completely uplifts the dish.

Never put red wine in as it ruins the taste and always use tagliatelle
Mysteron, you are a pasta conformist - I like that in a chap. your red wine point is hugely debateable - preferably over a dish of pasta and some red wine! My late mother, she of the 3O WRNS service, was of the firm belief that dry cider provided a perfect complement to the dish. Alcoholic but not overly tannic...Me, I insist on a glass of good Italian wine.


Book Reviewer
I find that crumbling a couple of OXO cubes into the mince works wonders.
Beef oxo or?


Book Reviewer
OXO??!! Did that man say OXO.......

Bah..Nurse.....Nurse....Nurse!!!! Bring the medicene........not the pills dammit, the bloody port!!!!!

Oxo.....what is the world coming to?.......Bloody Oxo......pah......
Nothing wrong with Oxo as a store cupboard staple...personally I use liquid stock for choice and home-made liquid stock if I can keep windsor off the bones long enough to boil them up!

Arrabiata is pretty gorgeous too...mmm...chilli and pasta...glurrgh!

I love cooking and one of my favourate dishes has no name, I got it off my best mate 10 years ago.

Penne Pasta
2x Onions
Can of chopped Toms
Tom paste

Penne pasta cooked with a veg stock cube.


Dice two onions and two large cloves of garlic and lighty fry in olive oil until soft. Add Anchovies and olives stir in. Add the can of Toms, tom paste and basil mix in well. leave to simmer.

Grill four rashes of bacon, dice them and add to sauce.

Serve with a glass of red wine.
B_AND_T said:
I find that crumbling a couple of OXO cubes into the mince works wonders.
I think you will find that a splash of Worcestershire Sauce can do wonders for tomato based sauces.......


Book Reviewer
Cuddles said:
Nothing wrong with Oxo as a store cupboard staple...personally I use liquid stock for choice and home-made liquid stock if I can keep windsor off the bones long enough to boil them up!

Arrabiata is pretty gorgeous too...mmm...chilli and pasta...glurrgh!

I am with you on liquid stocks. I have built up a good enough relationship with my butcher that I get different bones each week for stocks, this week was chicken carcasses. Did you know that you are doing the butcher a favour as they now charge them for bio-waste disposal for bones?

The perfect stock:

Rule 1. Align your sunday Roast meat selction to the bones you get from your butcher.

Rule 2. If you are having lamb or beef and intend to make a stock afterwards - always use Chine Bones.

Ingredients for 5 litres (10 pints):

Bones and scraps from your roast
Additional bones from the butcher (I work on 2kgs per litre of stock)
Mirrepoix (Finely diced leeks x 2, onion x 1, celery x 4 stalks & carrots x 2)
10 whole garlic cloves (2 per litre)
Bay leaves x 2
Appropriate herbs (Chicken - Rosemary, Pork - Sage, Lamb - Thyme, etc)
White or Red Wine Vinegar (dependant on meat) - 50ml per litre
1/2 bottle Wine (depends on meat again)


Take your Roasting tray with all those lovely juices and bits from the roast and place on the hottest hob you have at the hottest setting. When crackling away, add half the mirrepoix and garlic to sweat and coat the veg with as much of the leftovers as possible, season now. When the pan is very, very hot, de-glaze with half a bottle of wine, cook off and reserve. Re-use the pan for the uncooked bones from the butcher which you have seasoned and drizzled with oil. Roast at 220 degrees C until the marrow has melted (Chine takes about 1 hour).

Repeat the process as you did for the Roast carcass. Now add both liquids to your stock pot and add boiling water to the desired quantity. Add the Vinegar, season again then add the herbs and bay leaves.

Simmer for approx 2 hours and then leave to cool.

Remove the excess 'scum' - but not the fat from the pot ; pass the liquid through a muslin or similiar fine sieve and then divide into portions. Freeze until required.


This is perfect for adding to your next roast when you deglaze the Roasting Tray to make gravy, it also adds to your pies, stews etc.

Finally, chicken stock is brilliant when making potato dishes such as Boulangere and Fondant.
PTP said:
Garlic if you want, but I leave garlic out of anything I cook
Heathen! You'd be better off keeping the garlic and canning everything else.

PB's simple pasta sauce

Olive Oil
Black Pepper

Warm the Garlic and Chili in the Olive oil (I bleieve the technical term is infuse)

Cook your pasta. Al dente of course, spagetti for choice.

Pour the oil mixture over the pasta, the add the parmesan and black pepper.

Easy, quick and goood.


Book Reviewer
PB - a lovely interpretation of Spaghetti di olio. One of my favourites in fact.

I am also a fan of homemade pesto (Pine Nuts, Parmegiano Reggiano, Gran Padano, Fresh Basil and olive oil with plenty of seasoning all blitzed up after you roast the nuts) and do enjoy an honest tomato sauce.

Tomato Sauce for pasta:

1 1/2 kg of Canned Plum Toms
50ml Red Wine Vinegar
Dried Oregano, Chilli, Thyme
2 garlic cloves crushed
Fresh Basil
Pinch of sugar


Heat some olive oil in a heavy based pan and fry the garlic, and dired herbs for approx 1 minute on a medium high heat. Add the tomatoes and season it, gently mix in and simmer for 30 mins. Add the Red wine vinegar and sugar then season it again; stir in and break up the tomatoes into pieces, allow to cool and add the basil.

This is freezable and last for about 2 months. Perfect for Ragu, Bolognese, Arriabatta sauces.

Oh yeah - one other thing - if I catch any of you fcukers adding that babysick smelling processed "Parmesan Cheese" boll0cks to any of my recipes - in the words of the great Gene Hunt - I will come round your house and stamp on all of your toys....geddit? Good Kids.
Sundried Tomatoes
Balsamic Vinegar

Cook pasta (I tend to use spagetti)

Add sundried tomatoes (one small jar will do 2 or 3 of you) and a GOOD balsamic vinegar (to taste).

Food of the Gods!

My ex was of Italian descent (sigh, Italian/Welsh storminess....) and her grandfather's bolognese sauce was THE nicest I've ever tasted. A very closely guarded secret however I do know he put red wine and shedloads of garlic into it.

I prefer my sauce thick and dense
Are you sure you meant your sauce or did you mean women? :D
I find that using tinned tomatoes makes for a very sloppy ragu. My version:

After browning the mince and getting rid of any fat/water from it, soften some finely chopped onions in plenty of olive oil - don't have the heat too high. Add some chopped garlic (plenty), and then add the mince. Season well - plenty of black pepper. Stir in a generous dollop of tomato puree. Add a handful of oregano (chopped or dried), or thyme. Simmer for minutes few. In the meantime, cook the pasta. When the pasta is ready, drain it and add it to the sauce. Stir so that the pasta is coated. Serve with fresh basil.
Heathens the lot of you - should be linguine for any saucy pasta dishes. It's thick enough to hold onto the sauce but still thin enough to be swirled and sucked up in a one-er! :-D

Extra uber simple super quick pasta dish:

Small packet of pancetta or bacon lardons for the europ-phobic challenged among you
Garlic Oil
Fresh Linguine
Parsley, ideally fresh but dried will do in a pinch
For two folks you need about 4 heaped tablespoons of pancetta pieces, and about 4 tbspns of the oil, so double up or divide as needed.

Cook pancetta off in the garlic oil. As this is happening get the kettle on for the pasta water, drop in the pasta and leave to cook as directed on l'packet (3-4mins).
By now your pancetta/bacon lardons should be all cooked and glistening in lovely garlic oil. Drain your cooked pasta and add to the pancetta in the pan. Toss it around until the pasta is coated in the oil and pancetta.
Throw on some parsley and serve with lashes of black pepper, parmesan and vino!

N.B do not offer to cook this for the garlically challenged PTP :-D


Book Reviewer
BV - have you tried reducing the sauce when using Tinned Toms? I find that it creates a more intense flavour in a thick sauce and not 'sloppy' as you say.


Book Reviewer
Flowers - another good one.

I have used a similiar style but replaced pancetta with clams and added a little white wine and creme fraiche. Buenissimo!!
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