Party tricks

#1
I left the green machine some years ago, and have since settled down and become 'tame'. To the extent that my better half thinks I'm a good lad, always well behaved. But at the weekend, I inadvertently managed to open her eyes a bit. We’d met up with another ex-service mate of mine, and as is usual on such occasions, we started to indulge in some 'do you remember when...?' stories, and I told him about the ‘party tricks’ discussion which I was involved in while on live guard one weekend. Must point out at this stage that I’d had a beer or two, and kinda forgot that the missis was with me…

Anyway, I’m telling the tale and setting the scene – it’s 3am on a Saturday night and there’s half a dozen of us in a guardroom, bored out of our minds, guzzling tea and smoking fags, and as you know, the conversation turns to all sorts of crap. One lad asks what everyone’s favourite party trick is, and various answers come up followed by a demonstration, which helps pass the time. And then one lad quietly announces that he can suck his own c0ck.

You could have heard a pin drop.

“Go on then, prove it” pipes up one other bloke. And so he does – kecks down, old boy out, bend the back, pull a bit… and in it goes. Rest of us are stunned. But very, very envious.

“Well if he can bloody do it…” One of the other guys drops his kecks and attempts it. Back doesn’t bend anywhere near as far, and he strains and struggles and swears as he tries to repeat the feat.

Right, this is a mission now.

So, anyone peering through the guardroom window at East Wretham camp at 0300 that Saturday night, would have been treated (!!!) to the sight of half a dozen of the Royal Anglians finest, all bent double and trying to suck their own knobs. And barring that first bloke, we all failed.



“Very nice. You can show me that when we get home then darling” says the missis as I finish telling the tale. OOPS!!!
 
#3
A friend of mine can put a tea spoon into his nose, handle first unitl only the spoon bit is showing, somthing to do with opening his sinus. :S Oh and my father can down a pint without swallowing by relaxing his gullit.
 
#5
I can make a good snail by re-arranging my c0ck and Balls!!???
 
#7
I have photographic evidence of a tom clean lifting a crate of beer with his d.ick

Incase your wondering, para cord tied off at each corner brought to the center and tied around the schlong, stand on two chairs, take up the slack, heave...and hey presto...........a fifteen inch wanger about as thick as your little finger.

.....and no I will not post the pic it as the guy is still in.
 
#9
I can catch, in my mouth, pingpong balls fired out of birds arrses.

Oh Anya, that's a coincidence. :lol:
 
#11
Anya1982 said:
I can squeeze a pingpong ball out my arse!
I reckon I could squeeze a pingpong ball into your arse.
 
#12
I know a guy can suck back on a ciggie and blow the smoke through his tear ducts.

Different bloke, who was going out with a mate of mine a while back, could do that regurgitate objects thing. His favourite was to swallow change and then a pint and bring the change up dry and the pint back up into separate glasses.
 
#13
Anya1982 Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:23 pm Post subject: Re: Party tricks

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I can squeeze a pingpong ball out my arse!

I heard it was a ping pong table
 
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