Parking.

#1
Seem's my parking in a space these days has gone really wrong!
I am, it seem's parking at a slight angle with the front further from the space marking then the back.

Now I have driven MAN trucks and assorted HGV2 vehicles for years, so why the problem now?
Started to adjust the mirrors and guide myself in.
Am I going senile in my early 50's and need to buy my pipe and slippers.

Any good advice on how to sort this out??
 
#3
You'll have to attend gender reassignment surgery, this allows you to park at odd angles. Or buy a ******* audi then you can be expected to park and drive like a *********** anyway
 
#4
Seem's my parking in a space these days has gone really wrong!
I am, it seem's parking at a slight angle with the front further from the space marking then the back.

Now I have driven MAN trucks and assorted HGV2 vehicles for years, so why the problem now?
Started to adjust the mirrors and guide myself in.
Am I going senile in my early 50's and need to buy my pipe and slippers.

Any good advice on how to sort this out??
Welcome to the Jeremy Clarkson Appreciation Society.
 
#5
Seem's my parking in a space these days has gone really wrong!
I am, it seem's parking at a slight angle with the front further from the space marking then the back.

Now I have driven MAN trucks and assorted HGV2 vehicles for years, so why the problem now?
Started to adjust the mirrors and guide myself in.
Am I going senile in my early 50's and need to buy my pipe and slippers.

Any good advice on how to sort this out??
Feed yourself into a woodchipper.
 
#6
Your vehicle steering rack is buggered. Get it serviced!!!!

Or buy a car that parks it's self, job jobbed.

Or just park it up and leave it and if any body mentions your poor parking blame it on the wife.
 
#8
I will contact dignitas.
 
#9
Buy a second hand Chally and park it where you like.
If anyone objects, drive over them.
Job jobbed.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
I have trouble parking my new car
the mirrors do not show the area around the base of the car, I now use the lever thingy to make them tilt down
 
#12
Seem's my parking in a space these days has gone really wrong!
I am, it seem's parking at a slight angle with the front further from the space marking then the back.

Now I have driven MAN trucks and assorted HGV2 vehicles for years, so why the problem now?
Started to adjust the mirrors and guide myself in.
Am I going senile in my early 50's and need to buy my pipe and slippers.

Any good advice on how to sort this out??
Some great advice for you. Take some pics and post them here....
https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/piss-poor-parking.202968/page-63
Then we can have a good laugh at your expence.
 
#14
Buy a second hand Chally and park it where you like.
If anyone objects, drive over them.
Job jobbed.
Might scratch the paint. Why not engage them with main gun and have done with it? :)
 
#16
Not applicable to the original poster, but for ages I've wondered why, when I've parked well away from any other cars in the supermarket car park someone would invariably park up right beside me. Having recently watched people doing so, I am now of the firm belief that there are some people who cannot park between two white lines on the ground, and can only park by going alongside another car and using its position as a reference.
 
#17
Not applicable to the original poster, but for ages I've wondered why, when I've parked well away from any other cars in the supermarket car park someone would invariably park up right beside me. Having recently watched people doing so, I am now of the firm belief that there are some people who cannot park between two white lines on the ground, and can only park by going alongside another car and using its position as a reference.
Have to say I do find that easier! Can do that in one sweep. Reversing back between white lines in a massive empty space has me shuttling back and forward like a right idiot to get it central.
# parking biff
 
#18
Not applicable to the original poster, but for ages I've wondered why, when I've parked well away from any other cars in the supermarket car park someone would invariably park up right beside me. Having recently watched people doing so, I am now of the firm belief that there are some people who cannot park between two white lines on the ground, and can only park by going alongside another car and using its position as a reference.
That happens to me all the time. I have never managed to work it out but I think you might have hit on the answer.

9A717F74-B1CD-4C23-8923-8143FB340EFA.jpeg


I took this a few years ago. Taken in the massive car park of the Tesco/M&S superstore at Brooklands at quarter to sparrows fart on a Saturday morning. I was off to a trade show and stopped off to get some supplies. I parked my VW Van all on its own.

When I got back there were four cars parked in a row next to me despite (as you can clearly see) there being many acres of empty space.

The thing vaguely visible bottom right is the wing of a car leaving that was parked to the right of the Volvo.

Mystifying.
 
#19
I have written to Ford about this problem, I am convinced it is a built in redundancy to garner huge amounts of money from cars having to be inspected/serviced at their dealerships.

Her indoors 2017 Kuga has only covered 1800 miles, not once has it parked correctly, a bias towards the right side results in that snuggle up parking syndrome, lucky if you get 3" of door opening room. She refuses to attempt the computer controlled self park, "witchcraft"she says.
 
#20
Seem's my parking in a space these days has gone really wrong!
I am, it seem's parking at a slight angle with the front further from the space marking then the back.

Now I have driven MAN trucks and assorted HGV2 vehicles for years, so why the problem now?
Started to adjust the mirrors and guide myself in.
Am I going senile in my early 50's and need to buy my pipe and slippers.

Any good advice on how to sort this out??
It’s probably the bad AIDS. You should chop your legs off as that’s where it accumulates.
 

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