Parents and loved ones advice

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
4. Don't pester them with questions. Let them tell the tales in their own good time
5. Have a quiet word of warning with your offspring when they are 'released' about their language. There's a reason for the phrase 'swearing like a trooper'
During the war, my sister-in law's dad came home as a fully-fledged Commando. He was putting up a blackout curtain and smashed his thumb with a hammer. The resulting language was choice and his mother, a strict Presbyterian, called for his father to impose discipline. Once his mum had departed the scene, his dad took one look at the fearsome physical prospect his son had become and suggested that they have a whisky.
 

sidsnot

War Hero
This sounds cliché but we’ve seen such a change in him already in the course of 30 odd weeks. He has gone from School to College to the Army. For all his teenage bravado we knew this would be tough for him. Despite our nagging if he graced us with his presence at the dinner table he was shovelling food into him with his phone in one hand. He’d then just trott off and leave his plate on the table. Unaware that he is perfectly capable at loading a dishwasher. Same with his laundry, still at 19 I’d find piles of boxers and socks in his room just waiting for the little washing fairies to magically sort it out for him.
Fast forward to his first long weekend home during basic training. This short haired, fit and tidy looking young man is walking about the house with his shoulders back. Full of stories about his first month and a bit in the Army. Saying “Good effort” a lot and telling us how squared away he is. Yes it was a bit silly but you could really see a change starting to happen. His self confidence and more importantly his maturity was increasing ten fold.
Now he has completed his final exercise and is itching to get to his battalion in time for a trip aboard with them on some major exercise. He’s absolutely buzzing about it and genuinely never shuts up about his new regiment. He talks about mates from Ghana, Ireland, Liverpool and Newcastle now. Areas he’s never been to yet is already talking about nights out there. It’s so nice to see his horizons increasing and seeing that there is a bigger world out there than his own postcode.
He has become a man. Who you are rightly very proud of.
 

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
He has become a man. Who you are rightly very proud of.
Thank you. It’s true and another point to highlight to parents is try and see the big picture. I have to admit I did get upset and worried at times but you have to remember exactly what they are being trained to do. They have to be put under pressure and stress as ultimately that is where the learning is. Seeing the transition from sulky teenager to young man is a hell of a journey. And don’t allow yourself to focus on how dangerous the job can be. The way I look at it is I’d much rather he be surrounded by like minded, highly trained professionals as opposed to hanging around some park in a tracksuit. So never lose sight of the bigger picture. Storms don’t last forever and basic training is something every soldier needs to go through. Just keep reminded them why they joined in the first place!
 
Very good advice. It’s also completely normal for homesickness to creep in early in the course too. Just ride it out and they adjust.
Many moons ago as a 16 yr old Junior Leader the room squad were getting a lesson on Boxing Blankets when the home sickness kicked in. Without saying a word I wandered off to the karzi and blubbered my eyes out.
When I got back nobody said a word, the NCO just nodded and carried on as normal.

Boxed Blankets:
Don't ask what that means - I'm still traumatized by them, especially the sight of them flying out the window.
1633185834369.png
 

endure

GCM
This sounds cliché but we’ve seen such a change in him already in the course of 30 odd weeks. He has gone from School to College to the Army. For all his teenage bravado we knew this would be tough for him. Despite our nagging if he graced us with his presence at the dinner table he was shovelling food into him with his phone in one hand. He’d then just trott off and leave his plate on the table. Unaware that he is perfectly capable at loading a dishwasher. Same with his laundry, still at 19 I’d find piles of boxers and socks in his room just waiting for the little washing fairies to magically sort it out for him.
Fast forward to his first long weekend home during basic training. This short haired, fit and tidy looking young man is walking about the house with his shoulders back. Full of stories about his first month and a bit in the Army. Saying “Good effort” a lot and telling us how squared away he is. Yes it was a bit silly but you could really see a change starting to happen. His self confidence and more importantly his maturity was increasing ten fold.
Now he has completed his final exercise and is itching to get to his battalion in time for a trip aboard with them on some major exercise. He’s absolutely buzzing about it and genuinely never shuts up about his new regiment. He talks about mates from Ghana, Ireland, Liverpool and Newcastle now. Areas he’s never been to yet is already talking about nights out there. It’s so nice to see his horizons increasing and seeing that there is a bigger world out there than his own postcode.
But does he do the washing up now?
 

endure

GCM
Excuse my cynicism. But i am beginning to detect some sort of a con, conspiracy put up job, what ever you may call it. Army Mama's copy on this thread is reminiscent of a trained journalist, its too pat, to precise, too well balanced, incorporating all the cliches of a proud and happy mother. I somehow feel that its a put up job, engineered by the PR boys at MOD to promote the ARMY as the be all and end all of the making of a man. Its too bloody perfect.

If i am wrong, i do whole hardheartedly apologize, there is no malice in my comments, just a healthy suspicion.
Why would the MOD promote the army on arrse? Everybody on here has either been in it already or is too old and knackered to walk to the end of the street unaided.
 
Why would the MOD promote the army on arrse? Everybody on here has either been in it already or is too old and knackered too walk to the end of the street unaided.
Its a public forum, the world and his wife can read all the threads, its not exclusively for Ex service personal.
Any young lad inquisitive enough might read and get the taste and flavour of military life, and it could influence him in that direction, highly unlikely, but not impossible.
 

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
Excuse my cynicism. But i am beginning to detect some sort of a con, conspiracy put up job, what ever you may call it. Army Mama's copy on this thread is reminiscent of a trained journalist, its too pat, to precise, too well balanced, incorporating all the cliches of a proud and happy mother. I somehow feel that its a put up job, engineered by the PR boys at MOD to promote the ARMY as the be all and end all of the making of a man. Its too bloody perfect.

If i am wrong, i do whole hardheartedly apologize, there is no malice in my comments, just a healthy suspicion.
Well you are wrong and so far off the mark it’s ridiculous. If you bothered to read previous posts you’d of seen that I’ve been incredibly dismayed about some of the antics of training staff! I’ve deleted and edited some out on the advice of some users here but the threads remain. We’ve not had a smooth journey and an NCO was removed from ITC and is being investigated. Again thanks to a user here. I don’t want to say anymore on the subject. But rest assured I am not some PR plant.
 
I think this is a good thread. I susupect my own parents might have benefited from it, instead of sitting glumly in Newcastle Central Station and then blubbering as I departed to Ashford in 1989.
 

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
I think this is a good thread. I susupect my own parents might have benefited from it, instead of sitting glumly in Newcastle Central Station and then blubbering as I departed to Ashford in 198

Thank you, that is the point of the thread. When parents want information on Army training what do they do? They don’t call careers offices and waste their time - they search online for it. And more often than not when we googled things relating to the army this site appeared at the top of the results. So it’s not a stretch to think some parents to new and future recruits may end up here. Even if it is just lurking and not posting. Hence why I thought it would be beneficial to share some experience with the hope that the thread grows and encourages other parents to join the discussion.
 
Excuse my cynicism. But i am beginning to detect some sort of a con, conspiracy put up job, what ever you may call it. Army Mama's copy on this thread is reminiscent of a trained journalist, its too pat, to precise, too well balanced, incorporating all the cliches of a proud and happy mother. I somehow feel that its a put up job, engineered by the PR boys at MOD to promote the ARMY as the be all and end all of the making of a man. Its too bloody perfect.

If i am wrong, i do whole hardheartedly apologize, there is no malice in my comments, just a healthy suspicion.
scan_20210917-jpg.604781
 
Why would the MOD promote the army on arrse? Everybody on here has either been in it already or is too old and knackered to walk to the end of the street unaided.
I doubt the Army wants the world to see that a sizeable percentage of it's alumni have resorted to bickering like 6 year olds upon retirement.

It embarrassing here, sometimes.
 
Now he has completed his final exercise and is itching to get to his battalion in time for a trip aboard with them on some major exercise. He’s absolutely buzzing about it and genuinely never shuts up about his new regiment.
That can change very fast.

Some new recruits love battalion life, make a fast adjustment and think they've found the promised land. They pass a JNCO's cadre within three or four years and start thinking about a serious career. Alternatively they have a fun few years and then go and try something else.

Others find the reality of being in a working unit is very different to the mental picture they had during training. Disillusionment can set in fast - like within about half a day of arriving, meeting new colleagues and experiencing the local vibe...

Most lads leave the infantry at the earliest opportunity. Retention has been a problem since the 80s and the army has never found a solution.

I'm not trying to burst your bubble - he might really enjoy battalion life. Just keep it at the back of your mind that he could arrive home for Christmas leave with a completely different mindset.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

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I doubt the Army wants the world to see that a sizeable percentage of it's alumni have resorted to bickering like 6 year olds upon retirement.

It embarrassing here, sometimes.
I think the biggest bickerers haven't actually served. Don't ask me why I think this, it's just a hunch.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

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@Grownup_Rafbrat why do you think this?

I shall now go forth and multiply myself in that general direction.
Call it a hunch.

And I know you ... don't go forth and multiply, find a log and multiply by adding ;-)
 
He has become a man. Who you are rightly very proud of.
Sorry @sidsnot , not yet. He has taken the first steps.
Without knowing your man (youth), I wish him all best. We all have to take our first steps in life, and @Army mama ’s baby is on the first steps.
I would like to say (not ashamed) that I joined the army and became a man much later.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

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