Parents and loved ones advice

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
Basic training doesn’t just take its toll on recruits. It is also an emotional rollercoaster for parents and loved ones. I thought it might be a good idea to have a one stop shop for advice and common questions from parents and loved ones.
I’m sure many on here can share their own experiences of training and answer any questions that any lurking parents have.
A couple of things I learnt: 1 No news is often good news. In the early weeks of training your recruit is going to be hit with an avalanche of things to do with very little time to do it. So don’t worry if days tick by without hearing from them. They won’t be permitted to have their phone on during the working day and only have access to it in the evening. But their evening will mostly be taken up with getting ready for the next day. Don’t except much more than a quick text.
2 Remember that your recruit won’t be telling you all the good things that’s going on, it’s likely you’ll get a text or call full of complaints. You’ll worry for days and they’ll drop of the radar for days only to return and say it’s all fine now. Don’t get too bogged down with this and just listen to them. They will use you to rant too. Whatever you do don’t try and convince them to leave. Just be supportive.
3 As I keep getting told basic training is not how things will be when they pass out. Just keep reminding them that things improve after training. If anyone has any more please add as this could really help others reading.
 
4. Don't pester them with questions. Let them tell the tales in their own good time
5. Have a quiet word of warning with your offspring when they are 'released' about their language. There's a reason for the phrase 'swearing like a trooper'
 

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
4. Don't pester them with questions. Let them tell the tales in their own good time
5. Have a quiet word of warning with your offspring when they are 'released' about their language. There's a reason for the phrase 'swearing like a trooper'
Very good advice. It’s also completely normal for homesickness to creep in early in the course too. Just ride it out and they adjust.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
When he or she comes home on leave don’t let your first words be
“Hello, when do you back?”
I think that happened throughout my time in the army, were they trying to tell me something:-?
 

sidsnot

War Hero
Adjusting to an alien environment and meeting people from all walks of life (within reason). They get used to it.
Hopefully your son will have bounds of self confidence. Little habits and turns of phrase he will have picked up. You may even start using some those yourself.
Good luck to him!
 
Also,
When they get home for a bit, just leave them alone to wind down.
Cook, fill washing machine, have a fresh bed waiting.
They sort come to after a day or two...usually.
Enquire about nothing....except do they want dinner or are they going out.
And remember " Good Effort Mum/Dad" actually means you are bloody epic.
 
D

Deleted 100463

Guest
They will be different in many ways when they come back to visit. There will be words and phrases that may well be alien to you, don't worry you'll pick some of up without noticing.
 

sidsnot

War Hero
His sense of humour may have changed too. Accept that. It is something that will help him cope with situations in the future.
As you may have gathered from some/most of those on here. Self-deprecating.
 
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sidsnot

War Hero
Also,
When they get home for a bit, just leave them alone to wind down.
Cook, fill washing machine, have a fresh bed waiting.
They sort come to after a day or two...usually.
Enquire about nothing....except do they want dinner or are they going out.
And remember " Good Effort Mum/Dad" actually means you are bloody epic.
He will almost certainly come home with washing. Just dont ask to him to iron! Plenty of that.
 
Do NOT do what my daft mother done. While in basic sent me a jokey postcard depicting a photo of an Edwardian trooper holding a candle stick telephone, with the caption " Please inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down" I was called down into the troop office, and had to explain my mothers weird sense of humour. 5 Tp 11th signal Regt. Helles Barracks Catterick. 1972 :p
 

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
Adjusting to an alien environment and meeting people from all walks of life (within reason). They get used to it.
Hopefully your son will have bounds of self confidence. Little habits and turns of phrase he will have picked up. You may even start using some those yourself.
Good luck to him!
This sounds cliché but we’ve seen such a change in him already in the course of 30 odd weeks. He has gone from School to College to the Army. For all his teenage bravado we knew this would be tough for him. Despite our nagging if he graced us with his presence at the dinner table he was shovelling food into him with his phone in one hand. He’d then just trott off and leave his plate on the table. Unaware that he is perfectly capable at loading a dishwasher. Same with his laundry, still at 19 I’d find piles of boxers and socks in his room just waiting for the little washing fairies to magically sort it out for him.
Fast forward to his first long weekend home during basic training. This short haired, fit and tidy looking young man is walking about the house with his shoulders back. Full of stories about his first month and a bit in the Army. Saying “Good effort” a lot and telling us how squared away he is. Yes it was a bit silly but you could really see a change starting to happen. His self confidence and more importantly his maturity was increasing ten fold.
Now he has completed his final exercise and is itching to get to his battalion in time for a trip aboard with them on some major exercise. He’s absolutely buzzing about it and genuinely never shuts up about his new regiment. He talks about mates from Ghana, Ireland, Liverpool and Newcastle now. Areas he’s never been to yet is already talking about nights out there. It’s so nice to see his horizons increasing and seeing that there is a bigger world out there than his own postcode.
 
D

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Guest
Don't be alarmed if he ever has a rather fetching haircut and no eyebrows that make him look like Robocop ;)
 

Army mama

On ROPS
On ROPs
Don't be alarmed if he ever has a rather fetching haircut and no eyebrows that make him look like Robocop ;)
What did make me laugh is he said to us that his platoon sergeant rolled up his sleeve once and proclaimed that if they remember nothing else it’s to never ever place a bet with a tattoo as the forfit! Bad hair I can live with. Bad tattoos, no! Lol
 
D

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Guest
What did make me laugh is he said to us that his platoon sergeant rolled up his sleeve once and proclaimed that if they remember nothing else it’s to never ever place a bet with a tattoo as the forfit! Bad hair I can live with. Bad tattoos, no! Lol
They can always be removed, but the kudos of actually going through with it will last forever ;)
 
Tabasco sauce. When he discovers it makes anything taste good, you'll be shipping it by the gallon in care packages.
 
Be prepared for some of his soon to be ex mates who are still bumming around going nowhere to start chopsing off about what a loser he is because he has to get his hair cut and be wherever he’s told to be (5 minutes early).

Or worse, their parents doing it (Unbelievably, this happened to us although a daughter joining the police - same difference).

A big exercise overseas with lots of new mates, all like minded or a pint of shite lager, a lot of moaning, in the same pub, night after night after night? With your dad.

Do the math as they say.

To add, excellent thread and all the very best to your lad.
 

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