parenting advice

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tank6275, Apr 15, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. serious topic so please no abuse

    myself and my partner are both 23 and i guess you you say young parents.
    My daughter is 8 months and is at the stage of pinching and grabbing anything in reach in particular when we're holding her, poking eyes,grabbing and scratching.

    Is this normal for babys this stage or is she just and aggressive fooker like her dad?

    Is there any ways of being able to teach this is wrong without smacking?
  2. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Yes, normal.

    Yes, can be stopped. Wait a few months and she will stop


    Use black n nasty to fasten her arms down or .

    Try saying "No" in a loud, deep voice then bash her across the snout with a rolled up copy of Heat or MaxPower.
  3. If this is a genuine request for advice - then why post it in the NAAFI Bar?

    Stand by for some interesting answers - but i would suggest that there is nothing to worry about. :roll:

  4. didnt know where else to post.
    Did a search for parenting and most results came up in naafi and therefore decided to post here
  5. Cigarette burns in discreet places should work, along with bedtime stories of Little Maddie, the girl who disappeared because her parents got fed up of her.

    Alternatively, a small pair of boxing gloves will solve the pinching and scratching problem yet still allow her to vent her frustration at having a father who's a mong who should know better than to ask for a serious answer in the NAAFI Bar.

    Hope this helps.
  6. Tank - This is normal behaviour for a child that age, she needs to be able to play, shake, hold, bite, scratch and look at objects. Remember she can't talk yet but has an inquisitive mind that needs challenges. Give her loads of play things, keep changing them because her attention span is small at the moment. If she reaches to pull hair or pull off someone's glasses then all you need to do is dis-entangle and say "no" quite firmly looking straight at her. Then give her a toy to play with. She'll soon grow out of that phase into another! Good luck. :D
  7. BBQ season is fast approaching, alternatively poached in a white wine sauce.

    I like kids really .... just couldn't eat a whole one
  8. Why ask for parenting advice on this site. Not being funny but I'd ask else where.
  9. YesItsMe

    YesItsMe LE Good Egg (charities)


    This is definitely the last place I can think of where I'd ask for parenting advice.

    But since you did: Yes absolutely normal, kids grasp the world with their hands, literally.
    So, nothing to worry (except for nice answers in here, just give it another page or two). ;)
  10. All nippers go through this stage. It's normal. I found distracting my daughter helped a lot. I'd divert her attention my kicking the living fuck out of my wife in between bouts of copious alcohol-induced vomiting. If that didn't work I tongued out my nipper's back eye before roughly fingering her.

    'serious topic so please no abuse' - In the fucking NAAFI? Get real jellyhead.
  11. Just rub some scotch bonnet chillies in her eyes that'll give her something to distract her for the next few years. either that or a quick blow to the side of her head when she does it soon train her Pavlov dog style
  12. Perfectly normal reaction for a youngun.
    However the question arises " To chav or not to chav" by the time your little bundle of joy has reach the potential age of two, with a view to enjoying a few more years be firm and fair.
    Kids need a bit of mild thuggery now and again to keep them in line, but there is no need to kick the crap out of them. your sprog will be fine if you use the old addage monkey see monkey do (not saying the kid is a chimp)
    She will become an extention of you and your Missus, Treat her right you will have an exceptional child. Treat her wrong and you will have the life from hell. Then you will have Arrsers after you.
    Good luck because you are going to need it
  13. Another piece of advice, keep the little Funballs fingernails trimmed, you will be astounded at the damage the little feckers can do with un-trimmed digits
  14. Use a rolled up news paper on her.
  15. I usually find snapping their fingers off works quite well as a deterrent.

    Either that or just stick her in a box outside the UWO with a note saying "I'm being RTU'd cos I'm a naughty little cnut" and let them deal with it.