Parent showing signs of dementia

I thought I'd put this the medical forum

tricky business dealing with parents, my old man, a very capable, active chap has been displaying unusual and certainly out of character behaviour.

His comprehension of situations seems to be off kilter.

He is firmly in the school of thought that mental illness is just modern day bollocks, despite being obviously depressed and having it pointed out to him for years.

He is also the driving force in the family organising admin sorting shit out etc.

I don't get exposed enough to him to identify if there is a real issue, but he's definitely sliding.

Key issue is, how to get him to the GP to review the situation, can it be done by stealth, if I broach it he'll tell me to poke it


also how do they diagnose dementia, Alzheimer's, other geriatric mind issues
 
Extra note

Both paternal grandparents were strong as oxen but both ended up ga ga
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
There's lots of funding this year it seems for dementia, must be a civil servant with a demented relative.
Nothing to stop you calling the GP asking if they can pay a visit and tell them your concerns, the practice earn cash for dementia diagnosis and also for the patient having blood tests and referrals to memory clinic.
 
The problem as I see it is he is still competent and only occasionally obviously effected.

Given time to process things he is OK but it has to be at his speed.

Denial is playing/will play a big part of the situation

Doesn't help that he's always thought his kids were feckless wasters

The only thing I can see getting him to accept his decline is if he fucks up in a big way with the grandkids. Leaves one of them in the car/forgets them in the supermarket, looses one etc
 

O Zangado

War Hero
My Mum began to show the signs in her early eighties. She was still compus mentis to all intents and purposes and only those closest to her recognised any changes in her behaviour such as waking up confused and occasionally talking to a close family member by referring to that family member in the third person, but it was only ever going to get worse to be honest.

Sadly, or perhaps it was a blessing both for her and for Dad, she had a fall at home breaking her hip, had a replacement but died of pneumonia within the week while still in hospital.

OZ
 
The problem as I see it is he is still competent and only occasionally obviously effected.

Given time to process things he is OK but it has to be at his speed.

Denial is playing/will play a big part of the situation

Doesn't help that he's always thought his kids were feckless wasters

The only thing I can see getting him to accept his decline is if he fucks up in a big way with the grandkids. Leaves one of them in the car/forgets them in the supermarket, looses one etc
If he is a stubborn git who doesn't believe in mental illness you are going to be struggle to get him to accept he needs help. Hopefully he comes to terms with it before a giant **** up.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
The problem as I see it is he is still competent and only occasionally obviously effected.

Given time to process things he is OK but it has to be at his speed.

Denial is playing/will play a big part of the situation

Doesn't help that he's always thought his kids were feckless wasters

The only thing I can see getting him to accept his decline is if he fucks up in a big way with the grandkids. Leaves one of them in the car/forgets them in the supermarket, looses one etc
Gentle approach led by the GP I'd suggest, doesn't sound like it'd come well from you. Also could be normal part of getting old.
 
Do you have a lasting power of attorney?
May I refer you to my previous post

"Thinks his kids are feckless wasters"

Discussing a potential joint property investment a few years ago, he pointed out that he couldn't risk it as I might get a tropical illness, develop a gambling habit, spunk all the money and end up in prison
 
My Mum began to show the signs in her early eighties. She was still compus mentis to all intents and purposes and only those closest to her recognised any changes in her behaviour such as waking up confused and occasionally talking to a close family member by referring to that family member in the third person, but it was only ever going to get worse to be honest.

Sadly, or perhaps it was a blessing both for her and for Dad, she had a fall at home breaking her hip, had a replacement but died of pneumonia within the week while still in hospital.

OZ
Maybe I should get him a mountain bike
 
It may not be dementia. A friends father in law showed symptons a bit similar and it turned nasty when he bagan to get violent. Turned out to be swelling within his brain. They managed to get to it just in time before they lost him.

You could try that angle as it isn't quite the same as mental illness.
 

4(T)

LE
I've recently had to rescue my father, take him into my home and become his carer/nurse - he has been diagnosed with mixed dementias.

Its quite a life-changing event for family, so it best to get clued up asap.

I bought this BMA book from my local chemist for £4.95. Its an excellent easy-to-follow guide to dementias, and has been a great help in spotting and identifying symptoms, or understanding the reasons for certain behaviours. Well recommended for all family members to read through it.

(Arrse web links not working again? Book is "Understanding Alzheimer's Disease and other Dementias" a BMA "Understanding x" guide. Dr Nori Graham & Dr James Warner ISBN-10: 1903474612)


 

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