Parcel - what would be your top ten items?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jdb2270, Dec 3, 2007.

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  1. Its 30 odd yrs [Op Banner 1st Christmas] since I received a Christmas parcel.

    It has probably been covered / asked before but if you were to write a list of the top ten items you would like to see in a parcel whilst serving in Helman which ten would you list?
  2. Beer X 10
  3. My wife just sent her cousin out in Iraq a box of home made cookies and gingerbread men and used sweets as packaging. That's what I would like.

    Plus booze and porn obviously.
  4. Felicity Kendals arse packed with Tangerines!
  5. A card simply saying thanks and Merry Christmas from a complete stranger was the nicest thing I got in a parcel. The idea that someone back home had gone to the time and trouble to do it really meant a lot.

    Of course, it'd be nice to get the occasional thing outwith the holiday period - remember, a squaddie's not just for Christmas, he'll hang around 'til the New Year pissup's over as well.

  6. Wouldnt they loosen the Sphincter up a bit too much?
  7. Used panties.
  8. 8O What? Like second hand sweets? :p
  9. I just put a parcel together for squaddies in Iraq/Afg, its organised by some lovely old dear somewhere and you drop off your parcel before 05 Dec at Police Stations or barracks or wherever all done by word of mouth). She (and a small army of helpers it seems) sends these all off to units serving abroad for Xmas so some of the lads on their chinstraps for Cristmas get a totally anonymous package to say "Thanks"! No surnames allowed and the package has to cost less than £10.

    I think it's a great idea and I wish Id had a few of those. That it comes from someone you don't know back home really would have mede me feel appreciated. Which is good, as they won't feel too great about the British Public when they get home and some pompous civvy complains about them being in the swimming pool with a missing leg (sorry, thats a totally different rant!)

    Anyway, this is whats in mine:

    1 x FHM (soft porn, daughter was helping me choose!)
    1 x Mens Health (for the Gym Queens)
    1 x Arena (for the Ruperts)
    2 x boxes posh nuts (always nuts at Christmas)
    2 x boxes sugared almonds (see above)
    3 x packs Haibo joo-joos (see above)
    1 x box set of Morcambe and Wise Christmas Specials and films (always Eric and Ernie at Christmas)
    1 x cuddly dog (my daughter's contribution - I didn't ask)
    1 x Card saying thanks.

    Probably a bit shite in terms of content, but I sent t in a mahoosive tupperware box with locking lid, so some squaddie will have a new gucci waterproof box to keep his field porn in! You can take the boy out of the Army etc etc...
  10. Porn
    Real ale
    Blackadder boxset
    Red wine
    Decent toilet roll

    Pretty much all the things I missed when in BAS.
  11. Hey, I paid for them so why shouldn't I get to test them first? :twisted:
  12. Porn
    Stella Artois
    DVD porn
    Billy Connelly DVD
    More porn
    Andrex Luxury bog roll
    Smiths Salt and Vinegar Squares
    Poker chips
    Large bottle of Morgans Spicy Rum

    Oh, and did i mention porn? :santa:
  13. (1) ticket home
    (2) porn
    (3) beer
    (4) a buckshee phone card
    (5) haribos
    (6) a decent book
    (7) magazines
    (8) new music for bfbs they play the same cr@p every day out here.
    (9) kit that actually works! (thanks hmg)
    (10) a card saying thanks would be nice.

    on telic 11 now and morale packages are the only things that keep me going it is going to be a long six months out here.
  14. I have sent 6 boxes so far this week and we still have 10 more to send out.

    Each one conatins a Christmas card and letter along with Haribo sweets, christmas cake, a small present to open and lots of other goodies.

    received some names from guys on here but most are sent to the main HQ address in Iraq & Afghan. Just hope they get there.
  15. Just sent a 'surprise parcel' out this morning:

    Assorted nuts
    Sunmaid raisins
    Small xmas cake
    Kendal mint cake
    Tobassco sauce
    Zoo Magazine
    Playing Cards
    Jelly babies
    Xmas Card