Parcel couriers - the message that we all dread

A while ago, I ordered a replacement PS4 from ebay. Reputable seller, decent price etc. £180, including postage, bargain! Sold! Seller used Parcel2go.com. Turns out they're not a courier company, but an agency that outsources the actual deliveries to the lowest bidder. In my case this was myHermes, but I wouldn't know that until later.

Still, I got a tracking number and all that, and I kept watching it online as it went on an almost 2 week long sightseeing trip around the country. It only had to go from Stoke on Trent to Cheshire FFS! By now I am on to parcel2go and having many quite miffed conversations with their useless "customer service" agents.

Eventually I am given a new ETA date and 2 hour time window for delivery. Lo and behold, never turned up. So I get back onto parcel2go to find out what happened, only to be told that the courier had attempted delivery, but could not get through the security gate at my property. (I live in a block of flats, there is no security gate, but there is an intercom panel on the door where you can buzz up to each flat). I explained this to the agent. I also gave them my mobile number to pass on to the courier in case he has further trouble. Redeliver arranged for the next day. Smashing.

Next day, at the appointed time, I am home. No buzzing from the intercom, no phone call, but an email saying re delivery had been attempted but I was not home. FFS! Back on to parcel2go. This time I asked if the courier knew how intercoms and mobile phones worked, because it seems that he didn't... much "Very sorry Mr Lupercal etc.." from parccel2go. Another delivery date and time arranged for the following week. I'm sat at home. Again, no buzz on the intercom, no phone call, but another email saying delivery had failed, no-one home, because its the third attempt, item will be sent back to seller.

I about lost my shit at the poor woman in the parcel2go office when I called them again. Pointed out that there is CCTV around the building, and when I get proof that their chosen courier did not attempt delivery at any time, not only will I be reporting the matter to the police as it is now theft, I will also be taking parcel2go and their chosen courier to court. (It was only at this point it was revealed to me that they were using my Hermes).

Because of the threats of police and being sued, and also some of the not very pleasant words I used, I was passed onto to a manager at the customer service office. Went over the whole farcical story once again with him in Very Stern Words, got an apology and told he would call me back very shortly. End of call.

In fairness, he did call me back about half an hour later, and informed me that they had located my parcel and were going to attempt redelivery with another courier at their cost (bloody too right). The following day I got an email with a new date and time for delivery.

Day and time come around, and I make sure I am in the lobby of my building, thermal mug full of tea, bacon butty, and a book so's I don't get bored. Driver turns up. Result! Its my Hermes. FFS! Not to worry, yes they'd said a different courier, but if thats my parcel, and its finally here, I'll let that little detail go. It was my parcel. It was also the same driver that had supposedly attempted delivery 3 times already, which he gobbed off to me about as I ID'd myself and asked to sign for the parcel. I pointed out that he's full of shyte, he'd never been anywhere near my flat, and if he carries on, I'm going to show him a new and uncomfortable place to keep his biro. I also looked at the parcel, saw my phone number written on the delivery label alongside a note saying "if problems delivering, ring this number". Asked the bloke why he hadn't tried calling me, he said he's not paid to make phone calls and I should have been in the lobby in the first place, not waiting in my flat! I may have then loudly commented on his parentage, especially his mother's habits with pikeys with such vehemence it caused him to practically run out of the building to his van.

Another time I ordered something off ebay, it was delivered by DPD. I have their app, tracked the parcel from depot to my flat in real time, even got the drivers name and photo. Item turned up exactly when they told me it would.

Long story short, parcel2go and myhermes are shyte, DPD seem to be pretty good.
 
A while ago, I ordered a replacement PS4 from ebay. Reputable seller, decent price etc. £180, including postage, bargain! Sold! Seller used Parcel2go.com. Turns out they're not a courier company, but an agency that outsources the actual deliveries to the lowest bidder. In my case this was myHermes, but I wouldn't know that until later.

Still, I got a tracking number and all that, and I kept watching it online as it went on an almost 2 week long sightseeing trip around the country. It only had to go from Stoke on Trent to Cheshire FFS! By now I am on to parcel2go and having many quite miffed conversations with their useless "customer service" agents.

Eventually I am given a new ETA date and 2 hour time window for delivery. Lo and behold, never turned up. So I get back onto parcel2go to find out what happened, only to be told that the courier had attempted delivery, but could not get through the security gate at my property. (I live in a block of flats, there is no security gate, but there is an intercom panel on the door where you can buzz up to each flat). I explained this to the agent. I also gave them my mobile number to pass on to the courier in case he has further trouble. Redeliver arranged for the next day. Smashing.

Next day, at the appointed time, I am home. No buzzing from the intercom, no phone call, but an email saying re delivery had been attempted but I was not home. FFS! Back on to parcel2go. This time I asked if the courier knew how intercoms and mobile phones worked, because it seems that he didn't... much "Very sorry Mr Lupercal etc.." from parccel2go. Another delivery date and time arranged for the following week. I'm sat at home. Again, no buzz on the intercom, no phone call, but another email saying delivery had failed, no-one home, because its the third attempt, item will be sent back to seller.

I about lost my shit at the poor woman in the parcel2go office when I called them again. Pointed out that there is CCTV around the building, and when I get proof that their chosen courier did not attempt delivery at any time, not only will I be reporting the matter to the police as it is now theft, I will also be taking parcel2go and their chosen courier to court. (It was only at this point it was revealed to me that they were using my Hermes).

Because of the threats of police and being sued, and also some of the not very pleasant words I used, I was passed onto to a manager at the customer service office. Went over the whole farcical story once again with him in Very Stern Words, got an apology and told he would call me back very shortly. End of call.

In fairness, he did call me back about half an hour later, and informed me that they had located my parcel and were going to attempt redelivery with another courier at their cost (bloody too right). The following day I got an email with a new date and time for delivery.

Day and time come around, and I make sure I am in the lobby of my building, thermal mug full of tea, bacon butty, and a book so's I don't get bored. Driver turns up. Result! Its my Hermes. FFS! Not to worry, yes they'd said a different courier, but if thats my parcel, and its finally here, I'll let that little detail go. It was my parcel. It was also the same driver that had supposedly attempted delivery 3 times already, which he gobbed off to me about as I ID'd myself and asked to sign for the parcel. I pointed out that he's full of shyte, he'd never been anywhere near my flat, and if he carries on, I'm going to show him a new and uncomfortable place to keep his biro. I also looked at the parcel, saw my phone number written on the delivery label alongside a note saying "if problems delivering, ring this number". Asked the bloke why he hadn't tried calling me, he said he's not paid to make phone calls and I should have been in the lobby in the first place, not waiting in my flat! I may have then loudly commented on his parentage, especially his mother's habits with pikeys with such vehemence it caused him to practically run out of the building to his van.

Another time I ordered something off ebay, it was delivered by DPD. I have their app, tracked the parcel from depot to my flat in real time, even got the drivers name and photo. Item turned up exactly when they told me it would.

Long story short, parcel2go and myhermes are shyte, DPD seem to be pretty good.
Please tell me after all of that the PS4 didn't work?
 
Just had a consignment of meat delivered from Scotland by these peeps.

View attachment 357729

I'd never heard of them before but I guess the meat company absolutely require a trustworthy company to deliver fresh goods.
They delivered at the time stated with no damage. Well happy.
My flat mate got his UK passport delivered to him by these guys without any issues. I guess HM passport office trusts them enough.
 
Major Sunray sent some breakable doodad (husbands duty not to listen to everything she says) with Hermes, gets an email from buyer that it arrived. Though much to his surprise, over his yard door when he was sat in the garden and narrowly missing his toddler. Said item didnt survive the drop and driver had buggered off sharpish.
Contacts Hermes to complain and demands compo and is told item is on their excluded list so wont pay up. She then points out that the recipent saw the driver lob it over the gate so doesnt give an airborne fornication about their excluded list and either pay up or attempt to justify the clear negligence to the County Court, they paid up.
 
A while ago, I ordered a replacement PS4 from ebay. Reputable seller, decent price etc. £180, including postage, bargain! Sold! Seller used Parcel2go.com. Turns out they're not a courier company, but an agency that outsources the actual deliveries to the lowest bidder. In my case this was myHermes, but I wouldn't know that until later.
Sorry, but I just had to give that a smiley face because of your creative writing.

You have reminded me that I am years overdue writing one or two-page essays on similar incidents.
 
Biro? Every Parcel delivery firm I know uses hand held PDA's for signatures these days.
Had a new chap deliver to me a few days ago.I had to show him how to use his PDA.He had also been given his drops in alphabetical order, and was sticking to the list.He must have done three times the mileage he needed to do by criss crossing our postcode area.Poor bugger.I doubt he'll be staying much longer.
 
I did say it was a while ago. Even so, I haven't had the misfortune to have further dealings with myHermes since, so I don't know if they have upgraded to PDA's.
A while ago? must be at least a fecking decade.
Jesus you hold a fucking grudge.
 
Some years back I ordered a gold coin from the US Mint. Exiting the house one day I nearly stepped on a small box on the step. It was the coin. No knock, no doorbell and no delivery signature required,

Inside the box was a notice saying the commemorative book, which was part of the purchase price, had a production delay and would be along separately.

And so it was. Doorbell, signature, for a book costing less than $10.

Priorities, don't you know?
 
This just in - one hour ago the Postal Service delivered a parcel originally shipped via FedEx. I still don't know how THAT works.

Parcel was sitting on the hand railing 12-inches from the doorbell button. No bell, no signature.
 
I won a baby change unit off fleabay which I arranged for Hermes to collect from the seller.
Day 1.
Email from seller - no one collected it. Contact Hermes to be told that the courier called and there was no one there. Bollox say I its a business (and quite a big one) with a reception. Hermes - We'll arrange for re collection.
Day 2.
Email from seller. Courier claimed it was too big and couldn't take it. Double check the dimensions with seller and yes within their size limits. Contact Hermes, go through their stock response of we only take certain sizes and after checking with their courier he said its too big. Point out their own little calculator says its fine. Hermes - we'll contact the courier and tell him to go back and collect it.
Day 2.1
Email from seller (now out of office hours). No ones been back. Contact Hermes who don't know why he hasn't returned and will arrange collection next day but the seller needs to put a new label on the package as the original one has expired.
Day 3.
No Show. Contact Hermes - Errrr.
Give me my fucking money back. Went with Yodel instead who were surprisingly very efficient.
 
Credit where it's due. Purchased online 3 days ago, confirmed, yesterday order had been sent, by 2 day delivery service. Item was delivered by Hermes courier. this morning.
 

Sarastro

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
So this is a weird thread topic, and even weirder that I have a dit for it. I kind of assumed that couriering in Europe and the US followed a fairly standard set of protocols these days, given how much online delivery is used.

Ordered a bed to London. Since it was coming from Europe, it was meant to take two weeks - fine, factored in. Two weeks later, check up the tracking number and...it's in Pennsylvania. Yes, the one in the US. Get in touch with furniture company to ask WTF. They flap. Two days later...it's in the UK! Remarkable turnaround that suggests it wasn't actually in the US or didn't actually take 2 weeks to get to the UK, but whatever.

It is now with a courier company called Kinetic (there are several potential culprits, not sure which one). Wait a few days. Still no delivery. Phone Kinetic. "We tried to deliver it last Friday...". First, it was apparently in the US. Second, no, you didn't, because someone was in all Friday. "Oh, well we called the number to arrange delivery and there was no answer". Yes, because you've copied down a digit wrong: here is the confirmation email proving it. When can you actually deliver it? "Let me check with our ops team". Um, ok. "They'll be in later". Wait a day. "Oh, we don't have a consignment going to London until Saturday week". That's TEN FCUKING DAYS AWAY?! What courier company in southern England doesn't have some kind of traffic around London in a ten day period?! Call furniture company: it's now going to be 2 weeks late, its a bed, that's a bit of an issue...you can discount or we can cancel. "Oh...lets see what we can give you as a discount". Fine. "2%". Hookay, cancel. Have fun getting it back from Kinetic. They probably have a consignment to Europe by way of China some time in 2023.

This is obviously a first world problem, but I was just amazed that any courier company would be quite so ham-fisted in 2018. I've managed to get Italians to deliver to a non-databased address on an unmarked road on a mountainside in a second language, but central fcuking London is a problem? With all the highly efficient competition out there, how do they even survive a few months?
 

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