Parcel couriers - the message that we all dread

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
There's a reason they're known as Parcelfarce
Any organisation with Force in it's name inevitably gets it's changed to Farce.

For example, the local council highway lot around here were called Street Force but known and loathed to one and all as Street Farce.

I can't think of any other organisations who include Force in their name - can you?
The police?

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Last week I ordered a couple of hundred quids worth of tools and spares from Screwfix for the lads at work.

As they provide free delivery for orders over £50 I let them deliver to the work address rather than pick the kit up from a local(ish) Screwfix depot.

After 2 days my order still hadn't arrived so I rang the delivery courier whom were Parcel force.

Their helpdesk lady was incredibly helpful and somewhat embarrassed to inform me that my Screwfix order had been incorrectly delivered to..................Screwfix!
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
Today’s blinder. Parcelforce turned up, woke up the hound and by the time I’d opened the door they were halfway to the house with something which was the size of 75% of a single mattress. Set in the hall, signed for and the delivery chap goes.
‘Ok, I’ll bite. What is it’.
‘Something which I hoped was going into the back of a golf’.
We had another look at the box and started laughing.

We’ll see.
 
What is this thing for packaging stuff in double thickness bin liners ? Today one of our couriers arrived with a bin liners worth of plastic equipment cases out of 100 about 45 were fit for use o_O, I spoke to the suppliers and suggested that the damaged cases, although damaged will be returned in a suitable box, and I expect the replacements to be delivered likewise, oh and NOT TO USE HERMES
 
I’m so sorry but I have to vent.
I ordered my kit from Screwfix on “Express 24 delivery”. According to Parcefarce tracking it is at the local depot within 12 hours, happy days.

The local depot likes my parcel because they keep it there for another 28 hours! Then at about 08:33 hrs they load my parcel onto a van. I ‘watch’ my parcel have a lovely day out driving around my local area..... before returning to the depot!

After about 8 gritted teeth phone calls they are going to “Attempt “ to deliver it today but it is a Saturday!


What planet are these utter wankers on?
 
Definitely applicable to courier deliveries :D
 
Just got a parcel delivered by myHermes, something I ordered from Ebay. All signed for and everything.

Which is complete ballocks, as I don't have my parcel, and the signature shown on the website page for it is one for a parcel I got last year. Someone's trying to be funny and it ain't me.
 
Now, this is really strange.

What just turned up? A myHermes parcel courier with my parcel. And a sheepish grin plastered over his face.

The sheer unmitigated gall of the guy must have blown my mind as he's away with all of his eardrums intact.

Still, at least I can carry on with my plan of re-upholstering my sofa with cushion covers I'm making for myself. I've got a qualification in upholstery, y'all.
 
I ordered a gucci new memory stick for my camera the other day, it came with buckshee "signed for" delivery. Since I'm in the midst of waiting for my next contract to kick in, I stayed in to wait for it - I had other stuff which I could have been doing, but as it was for my new Canon EOS I decided to stay in for it. I popped out briefly, so my wife came back to sit in for a bit.

Having been sat around nigh on all day, at around 1900hrs I had an email drop into my inbox, to say that my parcel had been posted through the door. TWATS!!!
 
Don't bother attempting to use Yodel's online redelivery schedule system as they ignore that too.

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Same with DPD. Ordered boot liner for £20 from Ebay for the car

Friday -Working at home as parcel due - came down to make coffee and found the dreaded "you were out" note!!!!
Friday - Rearranged delivery to local Halfords (parcel collection service)
Saturday - DPD tracker confirmed delivery for Sunday
Sunday - DPD tracker said parcel due at Halfords after 12:00 and I would be issued a collection number after 12:00
Sunday - DPD tracker said parcel at Emersons Green Bristol awaiting dispatch
Monday - DPD tracker said parcel being returned to to Germany

No help or response from DPD

Seller e-mailed to ask why I didn't want the boot liner. I explained and said I was happy with either a refund or another attempt at delivery

Thursday - parcel sent by Hermes
Friday - parcel delivered by Hermes

I don't understand - Hermes get bad press and I had no issues. DPD get good press and I think they are crap.
 
I don't understand - Hermes get bad press and I had no issues. DPD get good press and I think they are crap.
I think it depends who your local delivery drivers are. The Hermes ones near me are useless grumpy Polish blokes who for some reason card everything and scarper back to their car before you can get to the door, then come back two days later and leave it behind your bin. I don't get why they do it unless they get paid extra for redeliveries...
 
DPD always tell me to within the hour when a parcel is to be delivered. You can also follow the driver on a map on their website.
Yes - I was really impressed with them right up to the point the parcel was on its way to Germany! Also, trying to speak to DPD is almost impossible, especially when your parcel has been returned to sender because the tracker locks you out.
 
I think it depends who your local delivery drivers are. The Hermes ones near me are useless grumpy Polish blokes who for some reason card everything and scarper back to their car before you can get to the door, then come back two days later and leave it behind your bin. I don't get why they do it unless they get paid extra for redeliveries...
Good point - it almost guarantees them work for the next few days.......fail to deliver five parcels, well, that's five guaranteed deliveries in a few days time...
 

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