Parcel couriers - the message that we all dread

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Skunkmiester, Aug 27, 2013.

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  1. So I ordered new Hero Black camera from Amazon on Saturday, to fit onto a geeky nerd-copter.

    It hasn't been delivered yet and today is the due date, still a few hours to go so no worries so far. Until I double check the tracking notes.

    Your Parcel is with the carrier.....Yodel.

    Ohhh shit......

    So what are the chances of the package being:

    lost (stolen)
    kicked to shit
    chopped up by a samurai blade
    delivered in flames
    disappearing into a worm hole

    I may as well go out and do something as there is fuck all chance of the clowns delivering on time / at all.
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  2. They sent a driver to my address who stashed the parcel in the recycling bin on collection day.
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  3. You'll be fine as long as the carrier is not Parcel Force...

    We use carriers for a lot of our business packages. Our carriers allow us to track the parcel and ensure that it arrives in one piece at the right place or else it is returned to us.

    With Royal Mail and Parcel Farce the packages can, and do, just disappear into the ether...


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  4. Oh don't start me. Twats the lot of them. I live on my own so am not generally about when these helpful souls try to deliver. The last lot I had problems with effectively told me that it was my problem that I wasn't in and consequently would have to make the 75 mile round trip to their depot to collect. It took me to accuse them of "stealing" goods that I owned to arrive at a compromise.
  5. Don't know what your on about my parcel was delivered on Thursday....on the dot!
  6. fucking Yodel wankers,Three and a half weeks for a next day am delivery.Cunts should be called jesters or clowns.Fucking wankers
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  7. I ordered a can of suede waterproofer for a pair of dessies 2 weeks ago. Still haven't fucking got it. Wankers have probably nicked it. Wouldn't be the first time either.
  8. Its ok Skunky I have one I can sell you cheap.....some baffoon left it on his doorstep this afternoon as he was heard whining up on his computer. I will hand deliver for free.

    I had a similar incident last week when the Yodel driver knocked on our door we were in the garden, luckily I saw the lorry so opened the front door and and spotted he had gone back for his drivers break. Stood around the front door for around ten minutes chatting to a neighbour in full view of the driver and he even acknowledged us whilst he nipped into his sandwiches. Went off to have a brew to find he had walked back to the house and put a card through the door saying he couldnt deliver (door was still ajar but had closed slightly with the wind). He came the next day to redeliver and i have to say I have met Signallers with more IQ and says he didnt realise the door was open and thought Id gone back out after his drivers break...I hadnt left the fucking house all day as was waiting his delivery.
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  9. Only ever had one problem with a courier, and that was a delivery from Sevenoaks where the driver tried to steal the TV. 2 consignments, one of two packages (twin speaker system and 5.1 speaker system), one of one (TV). Driver tried to get me to sign for TWO consignments, giving it "I'm in a bit of a hurry mate, can you get a move on", "look, two deliveries, here's two parcels".

    It doesn't help when Panasonic et al insist on printing "Panasonic VT50 50" Plasma TV" on the box... Guess which bx was missing... After I refused to sign, he toddled off the van and made a phone call. Odd, as when he came back I asked him to call the depot and he claimed he had neither a phone, nor a number, as he was a relief driver. I called Sevenoaks, they sorted the problem - the TV had left Glasgow, and had been booked into Warrington depot, and booked out...

    Delivered 7am the following -Saturday- morning by a different driver.

    Thats the only bad experience I've had, in 20 years of using couriers. WorldWide Parcels in Yorkshire, to DHL/Yodel and UPS to day, all have been great. The old DHL driver in Stoke was awesome - he saw a package for me 'inbound' to the depot and bought it round the same day, even though it wasn't due out until the following day.

    ParcelFarce, on the other hand... one forged my signature on a delivery form (in block capitals!), stuff left in a neighbour's bin, stuff left in a depot because it was 'too heavy', and much much more expensive than couriers. all the way.
  10. I am surprised he got it in the bin,I bet it was ram jam with s&m mags etc :)
  11. That bunch of cunts couldn't even be arrsed to knock on the door to deliver my parcel, just shoved a card through the letterbox. Ran outside to catch him and he just drove off, so rang the depot and told them, when he returned to depot, parcel was taken from him and delivered an hour later.
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  12. So, is that a recommendation then?
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  13. Yes. Here's a picture of our local Yodel crew;
    Drill Crew.jpg
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  14. Why would I want grot mags when I've got all the in-the-flesh grot I want on tap in my own bedroom, kitchen, dining room, study, parlour, garage, garden, woods etc?
  15. I wouldn't demean myself to own such a thing; I have outbuildings.
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