Parcel couriers - the message that we all dread

[Skunkmiester]

So I ordered new Hero Black camera from Amazon on Saturday, to fit onto a geeky nerd-copter.

It hasn't been delivered yet and today is the due date, still a few hours to go so no worries so far. Until I double check the tracking notes.

Your Parcel is with the carrier.....Yodel.

Ohhh shit......

So what are the chances of the package being:

lost (stolen)
kicked to shit
chopped up by a samurai blade
delivered in flames
disappearing into a worm hole


I may as well go out and do something as there is fuck all chance of the clowns delivering on time / at all.

 

[Pigshyt_Freeman]

They sent a driver to my address who stashed the parcel in the recycling bin on collection day.

 

[Rodney2q]

You'll be fine as long as the carrier is not Parcel Force...

We use carriers for a lot of our business packages. Our carriers allow us to track the parcel and ensure that it arrives in one piece at the right place or else it is returned to us.

With Royal Mail and Parcel Farce the packages can, and do, just disappear into the ether...

Rodney2q

 

[LayKil]

Oh don't start me. Twats the lot of them. I live on my own so am not generally about when these helpful souls try to deliver. The last lot I had problems with effectively told me that it was my problem that I wasn't in and consequently would have to make the 75 mile round trip to their depot to collect. It took me to accuse them of "stealing" goods that I owned to arrive at a compromise.

 

[llech]

Don't know what your on about my parcel was delivered on Thursday....on the dot!

 

[superjb]

fucking Yodel wankers,Three and a half weeks for a next day am delivery.Cunts should be called jesters or clowns.Fucking wankers

 

[o0matt0o]

I ordered a can of suede waterproofer for a pair of dessies 2 weeks ago. Still haven't fucking got it. Wankers have probably nicked it. Wouldn't be the first time either.

 

[The_IRON]

Its ok Skunky I have one I can sell you cheap.....some baffoon left it on his doorstep this afternoon as he was heard whining up on his computer. I will hand deliver for free.

I had a similar incident last week when the Yodel driver knocked on our door we were in the garden, luckily I saw the lorry so opened the front door and and spotted he had gone back for his drivers break. Stood around the front door for around ten minutes chatting to a neighbour in full view of the driver and he even acknowledged us whilst he nipped into his sandwiches. Went off to have a brew to find he had walked back to the house and put a card through the door saying he couldnt deliver (door was still ajar but had closed slightly with the wind). He came the next day to redeliver and i have to say I have met Signallers with more IQ and says he didnt realise the door was open and thought Id gone back out after his drivers break...I hadnt left the fucking house all day as was waiting his delivery.

 

[tiny_lewis]

Only ever had one problem with a courier, and that was a delivery from Sevenoaks where the driver tried to steal the TV. 2 consignments, one of two packages (twin speaker system and 5.1 speaker system), one of one (TV). Driver tried to get me to sign for TWO consignments, giving it "I'm in a bit of a hurry mate, can you get a move on", "look, two deliveries, here's two parcels".

It doesn't help when Panasonic et al insist on printing "Panasonic VT50 50" Plasma TV" on the box... Guess which bx was missing... After I refused to sign, he toddled off the van and made a phone call. Odd, as when he came back I asked him to call the depot and he claimed he had neither a phone, nor a number, as he was a relief driver. I called Sevenoaks, they sorted the problem - the TV had left Glasgow, and had been booked into Warrington depot, and booked out...

Delivered 7am the following -Saturday- morning by a different driver.

Thats the only bad experience I've had, in 20 years of using couriers. WorldWide Parcels in Yorkshire, to DHL/Yodel and UPS to day, all have been great. The old DHL driver in Stoke was awesome - he saw a package for me 'inbound' to the depot and bought it round the same day, even though it wasn't due out until the following day.

ParcelFarce, on the other hand... one forged my signature on a delivery form (in block capitals!), stuff left in a neighbour's bin, stuff left in a depot because it was 'too heavy', and much much more expensive than couriers.

Parcel2go.com all the way.

 

[superjb]

They sent a driver to my address who stashed the parcel in the recycling bin on collection day.

I am surprised he got it in the bin,I bet it was ram jam with s&m mags etc

 

[Joker62]

ParcelFarce, on the other hand... one forged my signature on a delivery form (in block capitals!), stuff left in a neighbour's bin, stuff left in a depot because it was 'too heavy', and much much more expensive than couriers.

That bunch of cunts couldn't even be arrsed to knock on the door to deliver my parcel, just shoved a card through the letterbox. Ran outside to catch him and he just drove off, so rang the depot and told them, when he returned to depot, parcel was taken from him and delivered an hour later.

 

[Eric Shawn]

fucking Yodel wankers,Three and a half weeks for a next day am delivery.Cunts should be called jesters or clowns.Fucking wankers

So, is that a recommendation then?

 

[cloudbuster]

So, is that a recommendation then?

Yes. Here's a picture of our local Yodel crew;

 

[Pigshyt_Freeman]

I am surprised he got it in the bin,I bet it was ram jam with s&m mags etc

Why would I want grot mags when I've got all the in-the-flesh grot I want on tap in my own bedroom, kitchen, dining room, study, parlour, garage, garden, woods etc?

 

[Pigshyt_Freeman]

Shed porn? You didn't mention sheds.

I wouldn't demean myself to own such a thing; I have outbuildings.

 

[The_IRON]

Yes. Here's a picture of our local Yodel crew;
View attachment 136658

Yes thats them, the one top left was the driver i mentioned.

 

[Civvy Scum]

So I ordered new Hero Black camera from Amazon on Saturday, to fit onto a geeky nerd-copter.

It hasn't been delivered yet and today is the due date, still a few hours to go so no worries so far. Until I double check the tracking notes.

Your Parcel is with the carrier.....Yodel.

Ohhh shit......

So what are the chances of the package being:

lost (stolen)
kicked to shit
chopped up by a samurai blade
delivered in flames
disappearing into a worm hole


I may as well go out and do something as there is fuck all chance of the clowns delivering on time / at all.

So has it been delivered or not? When you do get your new camera, don't forget to use the nerd-copter to take "action" shots through the neighbour's bedroom windows and post them on here. And don't try to tell us you don't intend to use it for that purpose, 'cos you'll get the ghey label. OK, Biggles?

 

[Nignoy]

While Doorstepping next day parcel deliveries is a sackable offence by most serious parcel carriers, a lot of customers themselves are their own worst enemy,I had a particular cunt of a customer who,s deliveries were all pre 9am or don't pay,but he himself never arrived before 0945, everyday before 9am I was there but he fucking was not, so I left the obligatory I was here where the fuck were you card,he would phone head office and complain that I had not attempted to deliver his goods,so one morning I arrived at his premises at 0830, Icovered every pane of the glass on his property with company sticky labels, I radioed in at 0855 and let them know what I done , when the customer phoned at 0940 to say I had not been,he was politely informed that he obviously had not arrived at his premises as he would have noticed the new decorations,never ever fuck with nidnoi

 

[skid2]

Ordered a parcel of meat. Guaranteed safe for 72 hrs. Usually next day. Which would have been Friday, allowed for a Saturday delivery if necessary.
No delivery, rang Yodel, set for delivery on Monday.
'But its perishable'
'So'

Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)

 

[CptDanjou]

Most carriers are twats , when I send or have stuff collected I use interparcel.com and usually opt for UPS , never an issue.