Paranoid or doormat?

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by patient_cow, Dec 28, 2009.

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  1. I need some guys advice on my dilemma, I apologise to those of you who feel this site is only for military or ex military. I might qualify if I said my family is army, my boyfriend is army and even I went to OTC at uni? I hope so.

    My fella is away, we met when he was back on R&R. Here in lies the dilemma, we've been emailing for a while and over the last few months I've only actually seen him 7 days.
    Internet dating is still sneered at I know, but believe me I'm no monster and definitely NOT high maintenance. The few men that are good are hard to find, so much crap to filter out!!

    Anyway, my problem.... I have a feeling he's not telling me something. And (as you probably already suspect) I don't think I'm the only girl he's chatting up.

    Should I ignore my 'feeling'?
  2. Where to begin?

    You say "my fella is away" but follow it with "we've been emailing for a while and over the last few months I've only actually seen him 7 days" So question one is, what do you mean by "my fella"? Is it an established relationship, or are you still building a relationship? Had there been times before the "last few months" that you saw more of each other?

    "We met when he was back on R&R" - do you mean "we met for the first time" when he was back on R&R?

    If the answer to the last question is "yes - we only met for the first time when he was back on R&R" then you must understand that it may well be that he does not view this as an established relationship. Is that a tactful enough way to put it? It may be that he wanted to meet up with you, following internet chat, because he thought he might get his leg over. It may be that all he was interested in was a shag.

    However he may just be being a typical bloke and not being very good at communication..... although I guess the first option is the more likely one.

    If it turns out that he took advantage of you and only wanted to get a shag out of it, you can at least comfort yourself with the thought that you clearly have physical qualities that are attractive enough to attract a squaddie to you in a physical way. That should boost your self esteem no end!
  3. Hi PC,

    Firstly, don't worry about using the site - the site owners clearly state on the FAQs and elsewhere that service family members are very welcome.

    Secondly, be prepared to get quite a bit of stick for your post - this forum is often treated as an annex to the Naafi Bar in terms of post content.

    I tend to agree with Schweik - you and your chap may well see your interaction in very different lights. Has he said that he considers the two of you to be in a monogamous relationship? Unless he's said something like this explicitly, he's got no reason not to chat to other women if the opportunity comes along. Ultimately the only way to find out is to ask him directly.
  4. You keep your hands off of the poor bunny!
  5. Yoy mean a pulse, breathing and alive ?
  6. Well done - you must have been identified as suitable for special forces with perception like that! The last sentence, that you did not highlight, would have been sarcasm. Had you been swift enough to notice!
  7. yep i would say hes balls deep in the next bit of skirt hes seen if he likes u and wants u he would of made that obviouse but all he wants is something to poke there some thing to poke when he comes back to you have a good day
  8. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Whereas I would say that you need to return to skool and finish your education you little prick. Try waiting until you have joined up before you gob off.

    God, reading shite like this makes my eyes bleed!
  9. dont read it then and after a few stellas i dont really care
  10. I have no idea what he said...

    Maybe it's one of those depth of perception affairs, like if I was to try & understand academics talking about their opinions on string theory; just nonsensical.
  11. Ah, yes.
  12. toshay, my old fellow enoughts enoughts i was out of order ok hold my hands up sorry .
  13. I'm not trying to be patronising here, but it's 'touché'.
  14. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Careful! He gets touchy about his spelling! :D
  15. yea i noticed that not haveing one of my good days well lads enoughts enought leave it there yea .