Paralysed women gives birth to third child

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TerryFukWit, Jun 17, 2010.

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    Brave knife victim Abigail Witchalls defies odds again by giving birth, five years after attack nearly killed her


    Paralysed Abigail Witchalls and her family were 'over the moon' yesterday after she gave birth to her third child.

    The wheelchair-bound 31-year-old, who was stabbed by a crazed knifeman, has had a daughter, named Rebecca.

    The cherished little girl was born earlier this month at the family's home in Surrey which has been adapted for a wheelchair since the motiveless attack in 2005 that shocked the nation.

    [​IMG]

    ...... Obviously hasn't affected her sex life.

    I definitely would :p
     
  2. So was the sex, she probably conceived when she was asleep.
     
  3. Imagine her clunge smells great.
     
  4. Imagine her laying there ooo your the best your the greatest not really putting any feeling in,

    See what I did there.
     
  5. I imagine that having three children to bring up and being paralysed causes all kinds of financial problems.

    Luckily she now has a career in err speciality films to look forwards too...Cum-sucking wheelchair tarts II coming to a shop near you soon.
     
  6. It was prolly an Arrser wot did it.
     
  7. I was reading the paper yesterday on the train and saw this story. It mentioned how a paralysed women was pregnant, but I got to the end and realised I must have skipped the paragraph about how 'it' happened - but a second-check revealed this information was curiously omitted!

    After all, I was hoping for a full Daily-Mail idiot-friendly diagram!

    I wondered if it was only because I'm a pervert that I was interested - however I am glad there is one place where this pressing issue is being addressed.

    My money's on a turkey baster.
     
  8. I doubt the turkey baster option was pursued. she is some kind of extremist Catholic and would look on procreation involving pleasure as a sin against the Holy Spirit. nothing short of a full penetration method would be acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. I suspect that a beach ball was fully inflated, then partially deflated. she was then flipped across it on her belly, permitting the necessary legs akimbo position and dilating her labia.

    Her husband then approached from behind and inserted his engorged member into her lady garden - aroused as he was by her puny stick thin limbs, frail body and bed-sore ridden arrse cheeks. One imagines he would have been straight onto the vinegar strokes and then brutally wiped his old chap in her flowing brunette mane. He would then, one suggests have hooked her feet to a ceiling mounted peg, leaving her in a downwards dripping position to maximise the probability of conception.

    In this position he could have amused himself further by re-enacting the martyrdom of St Agatha. Finally, before lowering her from the peg, he would have placed a beeswax and cotton plug in her vulva to ensure no seed was wasted.

    Would any other medical professionals care to comment?
     
  9. It was you!
     
  10. Seconded.
     
  11. She's clearly crushing her nurse's hand in some form of threatening gesture.
     
  12. [​IMG]

    "Have you met Mrs Davros? Her husband is something very senior in the Daleks..."
     
  13. she's paralysed, not BLIND!!