Parade Square Indiscretions

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mech_Eng, Dec 23, 2012.

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  1. Hi guys, parade squares are sacred, or used to be. What have you done, or you know to have been done on one of these sacred areas that has rattled the cage above.
     
  2. Parade... parade shun ... RSM's upper set of false teeth fly out and rattle onto the square. Not one snigger is heard.
     
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  3. Multiple accounts of people parking their motors on said holy land.
     
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  4. Razzer prodded me in the chest and sez "There's shit on the end of this stick"

    "Not at this end" says I.

    But I'd only just woke up so he couldn't jail me for taking a swing at him, and as I was a 22 year sapper I was getting out with a WO1's pension anyway.

    Has anyone seen the Christmas poem yet? Always get's me a bit dusty that one.

    Merry Christmas everyone.
     
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  5. That's why I said used to be. Got Royally fucked at Stensall back in the mid 80's for walking over the square. Big bad man came out shouting (yes himself). He was a little bit pissed off when the three gits he shouted at and stood at attention were ACF. I learned a lesson that day.
     
  6. No, gen dit, really?
     
  7. Used to walk all over our massive square at Woolwich all the time.

    Nobody gave a fuck.

    Very laid back depot that was.
     
  8. Being a Guardsman it was never sacred.... just another piece of tarmac!
     
  9. 1 Matelot's (civvy) wife staggers across the area that shall not be staggered upon on the way home from a mess function. She is promptly arrested, detained and up before the XO next day. Fine is deducted from her husband's pay.

    No fekkin human rights in my day.

    2. Group of WRNS officers being instructed in the finer points of drill when one starts doing impressions of Monty Python's Ministry of Funny Walks. "It's not my fault Chief." She explains. "My suspender belt has snapped."
     
  10. There was of course the time 3 Nigerian Ossifers on AACC were told to "Fuck orf you Black basterds!!" by 132Tp, at the behest of the DI who had enouraged them with an inspiring speech on the film 'Zulu' while practicing bayonet drill.
    But I wouldn't know owt about it. Oh no. :wink:
     
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  11. When I was an RP L/Cpl in Iserlohn back in the Jurassic period we had an RAPC bloke in nick who was being investigated for fraud. He was bored shitless and twice a week he was allowed to go home and poke his wife, under escort of course, one RP downstairs in the house listening to the bed springs and one outside in the landy watching the upstairs windows to make sure he didn't fuck off away on his toes.As I said, he was bored shitless so a couple of times a week I would march him off to the square and shout gibberish at him and he would do all kinds of drill movements. We got quite good at it and no one ever twigged.
     
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  12. After a drunken night many moons ago I recall a drill session that ended up with enough Pokey Drill to make the Right Marker throw up on the square.
     
  13. Oh yes, I was that Right Marker...
     
  14. In the Forecourt of Buckingham Palace, during the Changing of the Guard, the 'Jap' stood there, to attention, and pissed himself.

    And got away with it.
     
  15. Corunna Kasserne? Sounds like fun. Where the fuck were you when I was fitted up for something I never did (guv) and could've done with some light parade square relief?

    Can't get the "Staff"...