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Paperboys

#1
Ive just been to the newsagents to pick up my £10 for three numbers and brekkie for the tribe.

While I was there a paperboy was packing up his bag prior to starting his deliveries. I had bought the usual fistfull of sunday papers, all full of bloody supplements and gizzits.

I recalled my days as a paperboy and thought, thank fcuk it wasn't like that back then.... I even recalled the letterbox at 27 Highgate, it was tighter than a nuns cnut and there is no way on earth you'd get the Mail on sunday and supporting dross through it.

As I queued I reminisced about walking through peoples front gardens in the summer and getting a gob full of Spiders webs and wiping bogeys on the caps of milk bottles.

My biggest shock was when the haggard old witch, stinking of fags and last nights Chinky handed him his wage packet...... £50 ...fifty fcuking quid!!!!!!!!

I nearly dropped dead... I used to get £5.50 and by the time I got it it was about £3.50 as I'd subbed into it to buy sticky bars, stickers and crisps not to mention the Donkey Kong game by the door.

No excuse for doley scumbags, go and do eight paper rounds.... £400 a week.

The peperboy got a double whammy, I lifted him gently on to the bonnet of my car, parted his smooth legs and licked his walnut :D
 
#2
£50 for a paper round? I got a tenner for the week (monday - saturday) and a tenner for doing all three rounds on sundays (three paperboys in the week, just me on sundays)and that was only 7 years ago. I knew those bastards were ripping me off.

Kept me in White Lightning and Speccy Red mind.
 
#3
14/- a week in my day & Thursday was worst - TV Times & Radio Times on the same day.
Kept me in cigs & fishing tackle though.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#4
We got nowt. We didn't need a paper boy. Every bugger knew each others business.
 

Auld-Yin

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#5
£50 8O . Is part of the job description to shag all the mingers and gippers on his round?
 
#6
Whilst staying with the 'rents last Christmas-time, I was gobsmacked to witness their paperboy being chauffered around in his mummy's Volvo! What the fcuk? Lazy little barsteward!
 

Auld-Yin

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#7
Biscuits_AB said:
We got nowt. We didn't need a paper boy. Every bugger knew each others business.
Newspapers had not been invented then. :? You just read the cave paintings! :lol:
 
#13
We had an entrepreneurs paper round. Down to the shop before the owner arrived, nick the papers and straight down the wharves to sell them cheap to the wharfies. Fcuk the newsagent, long live capitalism!
 
#14
I see your all happy to admit to being paper boys yet none of you admit to licking a paper boys date, or having your dates licked whilst on paper rounds..

fcuking prudes
 
#15
Mighty_doh_nut said:
I see your all happy to admit to being paper boys yet none of you admit to licking a paper boys date, or having your dates licked whilst on paper rounds..

fcuking prudes
Does that not set off alarm bells in your head, MDN? The sort of thing that starts the little voices, saying "D'oh!" :lol:

Ghost
 
#17
Mighty_doh_nut said:
I see your all happy to admit to being paper boys yet none of you admit to licking a paper boys date, or having your dates licked whilst on paper rounds..

fcuking prudes
I used to stick my knob through the letterbox of one house for my Xmas treat of a BJ off their 12 year old - then I found out it was a geriatric labrador with a taste for cheese :oops:
 
#18
I like to think of my time as a paperboy as good training for the Army, particularly on the pay rates.

Four-fcuking-twenty for 7 mornings and five evenings!!

That c-unt behind the counter of the paper shop must have been laughing his c-ock off.

When I first started I got the worst round as well. We used to call it the "Junkie Run". Halfway round there were about three houses that were wall to wall smackheads. Every morning, you had to have your prep just right. I'd deliver the last paper before the junkie run, tuck my flares in to my socks and get my paper bag strap as tight as I could get it so it wouldn't flap around. I'd drop into a light jog to conserve energy, until I saw the first one emerging, like something from the Thriller video. As soon as he said,

"Alright, mate, have you got a spare cig?" I turned into a human swastika and started pegging it. Getting past the first house was a piece of p-iss, but the commotion always alerted the noshers in crack dens two and three, and they'd all come piling out. I don't know what the fcuk they thought they were going to nick off me, I was a right tramp. There was one that always nearly caught me. He looked like that bloke who played Spider on Corrie. He was a wiry c-unt and not so far gone as the others. Two or three times, he got as far as snagging my bag, but never with enough purchase to get a proper grip. As soon as I cleared the last gate, they always gave up and i'd do a little Ali shuffle and give 'em the V's.

"Kiss my arrse, you junkie c-unts," was my preferred parting shot.

I suppose I could have walked round the other way, but I was playing a lot of Sunday League at the time. The additional training on the Smackhead Steeplechase gave me blistering pace down the left wing.
 
#19
fifty quid, FIFTY QUID!

In my day (only early 90's) I got £6.50 and a few minging sweets for 6 mornings a week. No wonder this nations going to pot!

OS
 
#20
94-96 did a two hour paper round (only on my hols) every day. Up at 0430, pickup at 0500, had to be done by 0700 (later on sundays).

Got in between £40-60 a week, depending on the round. There were adults doing them, and some brought their cars. Kept little Ging in Bensons though.
 

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