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Paper bag. Old but funny

A very rich man had a very ugly daughter that no man wanted to know. In desperation to get her married off,he offered £250k and a lovely house..no takers. He kept on upping the bribes until one guy said that he would marry her, never divorce her and have children.
(part of all the deals) In return, he wanted £2million, a big shareholding in all the companies owned by daddy, a mansion and holiday home in Bermuda. Daddy didn't haggle and they were hastily married. A few months later, the husband was drinking with his best pal and eventually was asked how he was finding life with his new wife. Hubby said. "Well, I haven't made her pregnant yet, but it's not for lack of trying, which isn't as hard as you might think, as she is a really great shag. But she is also so ugly that I put a paper bag over her head every time we fuck. She is not just ugly though, she's the stupidest cow I've ever come across. The other day, I was hanging a painting and hit my thumb with the sodding hammer and shouted..Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! and the dopey mare scuttled off and came back with a paper bag."

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