Papal Question Time

#1
As Mrs and Miss Trackpen prepare to fly back to the UK for a quick visit, news arrives that Alitalia (again) are planning a strike on Mon and Tues this week.
This prompted the question over lunch at Villa Trackpen: What happens if the Pope wants to fly somewhere and Alitalia won't play?
Wine had been taken, which prompted several 'supplementaries':
When the Pope flies somewhere, are the trolley dollies nuns?
The mental picture of penguins indicating where the emergency exits are, led us to wonder how they are indicated. Do they cross themselves to indicate exits in the rear, front and over the wings? Or is it that if you see one of them crossing herself, this is the silent order equivalent of "Brace, Brace"?
Instead of demonstrating use of life jackets, do pax hear: "Should we land on water, the Boss, here, can just get out and walk and use his crozier to part the waters so the rest of us can get home safe" -- this always assuming that security has allowed him to carry his crozier in the cabin in the first place.
Trackpen Tertius, demonstrating his ability to think sideways, asked whether it was true that the present Pontiff got the job because when the cardinals entered the Sistine Chapel on the second day of the Conclave they found a beach towel with a name tape saying 'Ratzinger' draped over the Papal throne.
So many questions - not enough answers!
Can anybody help us out?
 
#3
I want to ask the Pope this:

So, Herr Pope, given that you are indeed a Catholic, do bears really sh1t in the woods?
 
#4
Trackpen said:
...when the cardinals entered the Sistine Chapel on the second day of the Conclave they found a beach towel with a name tape saying 'Ratzinger' draped over the Papal throne.
Result :D
 
#5
Trackpen said:
Trackpen Tertius, demonstrating his ability to think sideways, asked whether it was true that the present Pontiff got the job because when the cardinals entered the Sistine Chapel on the second day of the Conclave they found a beach towel with a name tape saying 'Ratzinger' draped over the Papal throne.

PML...I'll get my chasuble!
 

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