Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by scrofula, Dec 11, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. (Un) fortunately I won't be in the UK this Chrismas, so I am unable to do this myself. I will have to be careful how I word this for legal reasons. Just imagine you found a theatre where Sandi Toksvig was playing in panto. Imagine yourself sat in the stalls loading a (preferrably Scotch) egg into a catapult, aiming it at her head and letting go. Imagine the press reports. Imagine how much cash would strangely be donated to H4H afterwards.....
  2. can i substitute no neck toksvig for these cnuts? and substitute the scotch egg for tripe, as i think that's more appropriate

    Attached Files:

  3. oh i get the cover story :twisted: :twisted: :evil:
  4. Eh? Not sure I, of all people, am with you there....
  5. Intergeri, shoot away! Stakes are the same. Incidentally, it appears you are quite an observant chap - neckless women are a danger, a trap and usually fat. Don't ask me how I know this, just take it as the voice of experience.

  6. Where are you off to Scrof? Back to the looney bin for a short spell? :twisted:
  7. Nah, they won't have me back after the last time. I'd ask to come round your place but I doubt whether it'd meet my stringent expectations. Looks like it'll have to be NATO HQ again with Ratko and Lucky Lucan!

  8. You're more than welcome. The walls are padded and there is lots of mashed banana to eat.
  9. That's one I've never really understood. If the nice soft walls are to stop us hurting ourselves, why do the orderlies beat the fcuk out of us every day?
  10. Oh no they don't!

    Just trying to get into the PANTO spirit
  11. oh yes they do! (sorry couldn't resist) :oops:
  12. They're behind you!
  13. what? where? Oh my god!!! arrggghhhh.........
  14. Ah yes, Sandi. In my youth many a saturday morning spent throwing my little swimmers into an 80's pop sock at the sight of Sandi at her best. In my mind I have dribbled enough baby batter on her chins to fill an olympic size swimming pool. Sandi Toksvig and Dawn French in the same bed at the same time? I could die the next day and die happy.

    As for your scotch egg comment Scrofula. You sir are a rascal, a scoundrel and a heretic. I hereby dimiss you from this thread and any others related to Sandi Toksvig!!
  15. Dummyround, you Sir are a pervert of the highest order. the closest I have ever got is thinking about having a hand shandy over the vertically=challenged mingemuncher and choosing Jennifer Saunders instead. Dawn French, hmmm have to experiment with that one.....