Panic Guide

Mr Blair says....

"You cannot think for yourself, you will likely die without my protection. Trust in me and I will see you safe."

More electioneering through scaremongering from the smarmy one.
If you have been subjected to a BW attack, soap and water ain't going to help you. If its radioactive contamination, then that may get rid of some of the material.

However I recommend the "jumping in an oven" approach to decontamination in both cases :wink:
I was thinking more along the lines of a 9mm or 5.56mm solution


This is the governmental equivalent of giving us all a reassuring little hug to show how much they care, without actually providing anything more than the completely bleedin' obvious in terms of the information on offer. If they were going to be realistic, it would be a short pamphlet saying something like:

'We are attempting as far as possible to prevent terrorist attacks by known indidviduals and groups though we reserve the right to be caught napping, in which case many of you, as well as close friends, children and family, may well be slaughtered. Equally, it may be that unknown groups and individuals will launch attacks, possibly of a suicidal nature, in which case it is even more likely that some of you will face hideous, traumatic maiming or, indeed, death.

'As a consequence, we have decided to spend £8 million on this pointless leaflet, advocating the hoarding of corned beef as the most effective remedy we can think of against WMD attack and the breakdown of society as we know it. Simultaneously, we thought we might lop a few quid off the defence budget and reduce troop numbers, thus degrading our first line of defence against all such attacks.

'Meanwhile, I hope you will understand that if the shi-ite does hit the fan, I shall be deep underground in a WMD proof bunker.

'Yours Tony'
easesprings said:

2. Showering in soap and water are going to de-contaminate you :?: :?:
8O 8O 8O
OK ignoring all the "Big Brother" implications just to answer the 2nd question, soap and water is quite a good universal decontaminant. Radioactive and biological agents are physically removed preventing further contamination of the affected person and others, also many biological agents (live agents ie bacteria are to some degree decontaminated/killed by soap and water).

Chemical agents are on the whole easily decontaminated by hydrolysis reactions (adding of water to the agent molecule thereby cleaving the original molecule into 2 parts effectively destroying it) this reaction is speeded up in alkaline conditions which can be achieved using more traditional soaps (not the trendy, skin friendly pH5 soaps) (speaking from personal experience here :) )

There is however a big but here..... this has to happen within a matter of minutes to be effective and I cant see even the best trained emergency services treating mass casualties so quickly,but better late than never :?
I note with great interest, that one of the "Must have" items is a mobile phone.


Ok, let's see, something ghastly happens , and everyone is phoning their relatives.

Meanwhile, myself and a few others , are tooling about the place with our super-duper , state-of-the-art *guffaw* bang on Airwave sets, or even my trusty back-up Nokia

So, everyone has a mobile, and how quickly do we exceed carrier capacity. In NYC , I think Carrier Capacity was exceeded within 12 minutes , I must look up the figures.

Who the bloody hell thought it was a good idea to include "Mobile Phones" in the list?

Ditto credit cards.

Oh wait, if you shave down the leading edge of the credit card, it can make a useful tool to slit your families wrists with.

More electioneering through scaremongering from the smarmy one.
Amen Disco , and not subject to financial scrutiny by the Election commission either. Jobs a good un.

Well obviously it must have been produced, because we have no idea whtsoever what to do in an emergency.

Remember, in BlairThemeParkLand, We weren't bombed for 3 years straight , and those nice men over the water never attacked the UK mainland.

Was pleasantly surprised by Sky News desperately trying to spin the result that 82% of the British Public thought it was balls.

76% on C5 last night I think

Does this mean the British public is finally smelling the coffee?

Oh, and just before some damn Neue Arbeit apologist utters the usual line

"But they have to, if they didn't they'd get blamed"

Big fat hairy Couilles.
Panic Guide - well it certainly sounds like a good guide on how to panic to me. It could almost have been written by Osama.

'This is the best the government can do for us? We're fcuked.' :cry:
It says have your credit cards handy. That is good thinking. Say you need some more gas mask filters or a couple of cases of SS109 and you haven't got the cash handy.

I was surprised they omitted the obvious precaution of laying in a good supply of duct tape. That, and some plastic tarps, will keep Tabun out of the living room, as our Secretary of Homeland Security pointed out.
I always thought that in the event of a major incident the Police can have phone cells switched so that only coded phones will work, to prevent essential traffic being bounced off the system because everyone else is trying to ring and tell their mum they're ok (or not).

I agree with others - this is classic New Labour smoke and mirrors. They spend £8m on producing it - £7.9m of which probably went on printing it in lots of 'minority' languages, so that they didn't have to spend anything on providing a proper civil defence setup.

I think the credit card idea came from THC - he knows that every good soldier carries a credit card on ops so he can buy himself some decent boots etc.
I've got my NBC ensemble and a Gun

Has anyone else seen "28 days later"? :evil:
PartTimePongo said:
I've got my NBC ensemble and a Gun

Has anyone else seen "28 days later"? :evil:
Might not be too far away PtP. Something to do with an Animal research lab being given planning permission in Cambridge. T'was on the news last night.

Oh and
Doris said:
the concept of being controlled as harmless fun
Some people pay good money for this sort of "harmless fun"
2. Showering in soap and water are going to de-contaminate you
Perhaps it was a dual-purpose leaflet designed to introduce the local chavs to the concept of "The Shower". Dirty lay-about dole-scum :evil:
Plenty of handy tips on reporting strangers (or in-laws, ex-lovers, irritating neighbors) to the authorities and a dedicated hotline, too. That's the ticket. A 2:00 a.m. visit from the black kevlar and balaclava people is just what they need.

"If you are a retailer, do you have any cause to be suspicious about anything being bought?"

Customer: Ah, lessee now, gimme some of that Semtex, and, uhm, some electrical detonating caps. And two dozen 40 mm rifle grenades.

Shopkeeper: HE or white phosphorus, sir?

Customer: Hmmm, gimme a dozen of each. And a case of twenty-four ounces boxes of frosted shredded wheat.

Shopkeeper: What do you want that for? And while we're at it, let's have a look at your driving license.
The only thing missing from the "DON'T FCUKING PANIC" guide is good ole Clive Dunn, in his 'Dad's Army' uniform telling us all not to worry. Now that would have re-assurred me!

As far as the advice is concerned, by FAR the biggest threat is the unrestricted opening of tins of corned beef when your in a panic and only that corned beef will do the trick. Why?

a. The tins are an awkward shape.
b. The key is crap.
c. If its a hot day, the stuff inside is all runny.
d. It never comes out the tin easily, even if it is a hot day.

The threat posed by Corned Beef has not been taken seriously and Bliar will be judged harshly by the electorate.

However, has the threat of the dirty bomb been taken into account? Local Authorities are required to maintain a register of all Radioactive Sources within their Boroughs, a requirement of the Radioactive Substances Act. How many LA's take this task seriously? I doubt many do. Remember, a lot of old hospital x-ray eqpt etc has radioactive isotopes, which when they are fcuked or just past their useful working life, they should end up at a scrap yard. Yup, that's right, radioactive gear hanging around the local scrappy. You just wait. Its only a matter of time before someone on 'Scrap Heap Challenge' inadvertently builds a small, but highly unstable reactor. Sure, they'll win but Chelmsford won't need street lighting for a couple of thousand years.

The US Congress (I am sure it was them or the Senate) published a report on the likely effects of a dirty bomb. Its all open source stuff. Some radioactive isotope with semtex attached, just to give it a bit of effervescence, detonated in a city centre. The same scenario was discussed in an issue of 'Scientific American' (can't remeber the issue but maybe 2 years ago or so). I note that Sky One are running a series of dramatisations begining later this week on what to do when the shi-ite hits the fan. So, an hour of footage of people eating corned beef, trying to kiss their arses goodbye, wondering whether the local store really will accept 'American Express' and texting their mates should be really interesting.

As for the leaflet, well sometimes we run out of bog paper. :p

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