Paintball tank

#2
Deploy a squadron of these little beauties to Iraq and the 'Stan - ought to keep the 'non-lethal weapons' brigade at the UN happy.
 

Attachments

#3
9 grand? B*llocks. Oh well, there's always next Christmas.

Edited to add: Walting paintball kit invented by an ex-crab. Quel suprise.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
That's pretty sexy, especially if you can take it to parties.

Mind you, the ex-crab obviously has too much time on his hands, too much money, and no friends.
 
#6
I've said it before that if we were to genetically engineer super tough midgets then we could save a fortune, this 'tank' could be the way ahead. Imagine the size we could make tanks, ships and planes if the crew were all ex willy wonka employees. how many paras could you fit into a herc if it was able to be a double decker? obviously we'll have to issue them stilts for when they have hit the ground or they'll take forever to get anywhere.

3 foot tall soldiers would be harder to hit, and we could buy their combats from mothercare and BHS.
 
#7
theoriginalphantom said:
I've said it before that if we were to genetically engineer super tough midgets then we could save a fortune, this 'tank' could be the way ahead. Imagine the size we could make tanks, ships and planes if the crew were all ex willy wonka employees. how many paras could you fit into a herc if it was able to be a double decker? obviously we'll have to issue them stilts for when they have hit the ground or they'll take forever to get anywhere.

3 foot tall soldiers would be harder to hit, and we could buy their combats from mothercare and BHS.
He's got something there you know....... 8O
 
#8
Biped said:
That's pretty sexy, especially if you can take it to parties.

Mind you, the ex-crab obviously has too much time on his hands, too much money, and no friends.
Perhaps. But Paintball site owners should lap them up:

1) charge the sad punters a fortune for hire

2) stick trigger happy clown in

3) smile as they spew forth 900 expensive paintballs per minute.

4) laugh on way to bank
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
Blogg said:
Biped said:
That's pretty sexy, especially if you can take it to parties.

Mind you, the ex-crab obviously has too much time on his hands, too much money, and no friends.
Perhaps. But Paintball site owners should lap them up:

1) charge the sad punters a fortune for hire

2) stick trigger happy clown in

3) smile as they spew forth 900 expensive paintballs per minute.

4) laugh on way to bank
mmmm, well spotted. Anything that turns a bit of folding is a good thing, and it's got to be better than selling small girls. I need a change.
 
#12
Heedthebaw said:
theoriginalphantom said:
I've said it before that if we were to genetically engineer super tough midgets then we could save a fortune, this 'tank' could be the way ahead. Imagine the size we could make tanks, ships and planes if the crew were all ex willy wonka employees. how many paras could you fit into a herc if it was able to be a double decker? obviously we'll have to issue them stilts for when they have hit the ground or they'll take forever to get anywhere.

3 foot tall soldiers would be harder to hit, and we could buy their combats from mothercare and BHS.
He's got something there you know....... 8O
Isn't that why we still have Gurkhas? (Midgets would cost more too.)
 
#13
crabtastic said:
Heedthebaw said:
theoriginalphantom said:
I've said it before that if we were to genetically engineer super tough midgets then we could save a fortune, this 'tank' could be the way ahead. Imagine the size we could make tanks, ships and planes if the crew were all ex willy wonka employees. how many paras could you fit into a herc if it was able to be a double decker? obviously we'll have to issue them stilts for when they have hit the ground or they'll take forever to get anywhere.

3 foot tall soldiers would be harder to hit, and we could buy their combats from mothercare and BHS.
He's got something there you know....... 8O
Isn't that why we still have Gurkhas? (Midgets would cost more too.)
How much can a mini me eat? How many can you fit into a landrover? They wouldn't need rooms that are 7 feet tall, so all the blocks could be made 4 foot tall, the early learning centre could supply tables and chairs..

All 3 armed forces are becoming smaller, why not the personnel too?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
Might have to re-name the units though. 'Maddie's Mercenaries'?

Obviously, the Guards would be a bit pissed, but we could save them for their real job; standing still for long periods of time.
We could bring back some of the Scottish Regiments, they were usually vertically challenged, as were DLI and Northumberland Fusiliers. (bred for mining, y'know).
Instead of Regiments of Foot, we could have Regimnets of Half a Foot.
 
#15
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Might have to re-name the units though. 'Maddie's Mercenaries'?

Obviously, the Guards would be a bit pissed, but we could save them for their real job; standing still for long periods of time.
We could bring back some of the Scottish Regiments, they were usually vertically challenged, as were DLI and Northumberland Fusiliers. (bred for mining, y'know).
Instead of Regiments of Foot, we could have Regimnets of Half a Foot.
Hmmm....I can see it now - the Queen's Own Hobbits or Royal Dragoon Dwarves.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#16
Cavalry regiments would save too, instead of horses, they could use dogs for the wee 'uns to ride on. The Blues and Rovers. Royal Dachshund Artillery and 17th/21st Poosles.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
theoriginalphantom said:
I've said it before that if we were to genetically engineer super tough midgets then we could save a fortune, this 'tank' could be the way ahead. Imagine the size we could make tanks, ships and planes if the crew were all ex willy wonka employees. how many paras could you fit into a herc if it was able to be a double decker? obviously we'll have to issue them stilts for when they have hit the ground or they'll take forever to get anywhere.

3 foot tall soldiers would be harder to hit, and we could buy their combats from mothercare and BHS.
Commies always did it to get soldiers who would fit inside BMPs and T62s.
Picture a new intake of conscripts on the square at the reporting centre:

"Intake. Shortest on the right, tallest on the left in single rank SIZE"
"From the right NUMBER"
"1"
"2"
"3"
...
"100,000 last man COMRADE"
"Numbers 1 to 50,000 are infantry. To your duties DISMISS."

(Ditto 50,001 - 75,000 to armour, remainder to REMFs)
 
#18
Shetland ponies maybe? Would regiments be numbered using fractions? or decimal places?


Massive battles could be conducted on small training areas (if booked in advance, using the correct forms, in triplicate, through land etc etc)
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#19
Would only need half pay too, as well as half rations.
 

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