Painful Memories

Discussion in 'Charities and Welfare' started by Tastytoggle, May 9, 2010.

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  1. Here's a thought which our Mods and resident trick cyclists might consider. The childhood memories thread which was bowling along quite merrily, suddenly attracted a horrible tale of wife and child beating. I hope though, that it helped the poor bastard who had to suffer that, to get it off his chest a bit.

    I remember the 25th anniversary of the Falklands when I directed a mate to the Sun website because they'd produced a music video to raise funds for the South Atlantic vets. It never occurred to me that he didn't want to be reminded, but he rang me from overseas on the night of the anniversary and quite shockingly spilled the beans about one of the night battles he'd fought in. It wasn't at all pleasant, suddenly the sometimes quirky behaviour and failed relationships all made sense, but it was like lancing a boil for him and I'm very glad he made that 4 hour phone call and I was indoors to take it. He's doing fine now.

    We've got blokes like that who use this site. I've already identified 2 who I reckon are bottling some horrible sh*t inside their heads.

    All the official help is fine, but some blokes might find it helpful just to pour out their poison in a special forum on this site. It would probably be best however if instead of writing it under their usual avatar, they could write anonymously if they had that option. Obviously, it would attract the usual walting mongs with bullsh*t stories, but I believe you might easily spot who was for real and who wasn't. I don't know what I might say in response to some of the stuff that might appear, but there are a lot of sensible heads in this community and I think the knowledge that the poster was among those with that very peculiar forces slant on humour and sympathy might be an encouragement and a comfort.

    Most of us have lived pretty fortunate lives. It might be good if we could offer those old - and young - comrades who haven't been so lucky, another way of diluting their mental trauma. What do you folks think?
  2. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    Anyone can have more than one identity on this site & lots do.
    One for sensible posts & one for dribble.
    I'm trying to work out your other one as I type. :D
  3. If nothing else it might be a good single area to advertise the various counselling and other help agencies around - RBL, Combat Stress, Local Authority Agencies etc. All three helped out one of my blokes at the start of 09 when he had what I'd describe as "a number of problems" (understatement of the yr that one, methinks) and even though he's not out of the woods yet he has come on in leaps & bounds.

    What was of interest was the fact that up until he explained his snags to the CoC and we pointend him & his Mrs in the direction of the agencies above, neither of them knew of their existence - hence my line of thought about advertising RBL etc...........

    Just a thought

  4. Tasty, IMO it's a good idea and I'm sure a couple of years back their was discussion on ARRSE about having a hidden forum for people who're suffering from PTSD but it was decided (as far as I'm aware) that it would not be wise to have something like that on the site but I can't remember the exact reason for it.
  5. Or is Tastytoggle just a nosey cnut?
    Or, worse, a grief-whore?
    And there's always the "BBR factor" to consider. :crazy:
  6. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    IIRC the reason was who would be allowed to use?
    How could the genuine be distinguished from the vindictive.
    & on the advice front someone would have to sort between the people who knew what they were talking about & the snake oil salesmen.

    & therein lies the problem, there are some very knowledgeable people on here who give advice to both those serving and those who are out. Sometimes however seeing their posts sandwiched between the snake oil salesmen and the well meaning but misinformed can be hard work for someone looking for advice.
  7. Typical fcukin Tory :twisted:
  8. Anyway, WTF is the BBR Factor, Henrietta?
  9. Bit too Public School for a manual labourer like me :)
  10. If you intend for the thread/forum to be a place for the emotional to pour out their agony:
    My serious thoughts on the matter are, "Do not post more on the internet than you are willing to have come back and bite you on the bum."

    Who I am:
    An ex-RMN (psych nurse) given early retirement on grounds of mental health. (It became apparent that I had difficulty coping emotionally - at home - NEVER at work - though, I hasten to add, no real dramas - and no clear diagnosis.) I am convinced my problems are due to life-long autistic problems.

    If you intend for mental health professionals to give advice - a story:
    The other evening, I went out for a meal, with a few of the mental health nurses I trained with (in the early 1980s) and our tutor. The tutor still has a clinical caseload. He told us about some of the more anxious (and less boundaried) of his current colleagues ........ and their relationship with the internet. He told us his current colleagues spoke of their anxiety/fear (on more than one occasion?) at seeing, on Facebook, that clients had posted that they intended to take an overdose or other self-harm. They were discussing what intervention they should make. He informed us that he had given them (what is obviously the only sensible) advice ......

    ..... TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!
  11. I'm a member of a forum dedicated to people suffering from PTSD and their relatives and carers etc. The steps they go through to make sure that people are genuine is unreal. Every new member starts off on probation where every post the makes has to be approved by a mod and you are on probation until the mods are happy with that you're being genuine. Even after that the mods come down very harsh on anyone not adhering to the rules. I got a warning for not using capital letters in the title to a thread I posted.

    Even then they don't always manage to keep the ********** out. IMO this type of thing is what would be required to keep such a forum running smoothly but, as we've seen with countless threads there are a lot of people on this site who don't like being moderated.
  12. Sound advice Bovvy.

    Each post is only as good as its first responder. Someone may pour out their heart and in so doing become extremely vulnerable. Along comes a pissed-up squaddie who crayons all over the thread, calls him a cnut and tells him to man the fcuk up. Others may well take their approach from the first response and pile on the agony.
    Recent memory springs to mind of an ex-RA PTSD sufferer from the FI who was on here about 2 years ago. Most gave their sympathy and tried to be supportive but there were those that used his weaknesses and vulnerabilities to further their own cause.
    A person needs to know they can trust the people around them before they unburden themselves otherwise the result may well be, at best, indifference and at worst open hostility.
    Let's also not forget that any revelations may place an unwanted burden on the other site users. Many CS were running around the country trying to help BBR. If you want qualified help go through the correct channels if you can, if you want human contact and support then choose your friends carefully.
  13. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    This has been discussed numerous times, including creating a separate self help group off Arrse and a hidden forum on Arrse.

    There are numerous reasons why it wont work, as things stand at the moment:

    How do you verify who is genuine?
    How do you prevent access for trolls?
    What is the liability for hosting such a forum.
    Is medical oversight required?
    What are the political considerations if members commit suicide (think of the Bridgend Forums)?
    If the forum is hacked (which it will be), how can you minimise the negative effect.
    What happens if forum membership exacerbates the extent of the mental illness/injury.
    Such a forum might encourage self/lay mis/diagnosis.
    It could promote (unintentionally) hypochondria/münchausen syndrome.

    Those are just a few of the headline reasons.

    A couple of facts to boot:

    All of the hidden forums on this site have been breached at some stage or other.
    There are elements on this site who would attempt to take advantage of such a forum if it were know to exist.
    People on this site already do their best to support those who are known to have problems in far more subtle ways, and mainly in the real world.

    It's a good point to raise, but I can't see that anything has changed since it was last discussed and turned down.
  14. Yep. I can see all that (Bovvy, MIT included). It's not a clear cut as I thought.