Pagan Plod to fight crime with witchcraft

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Alsacien, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Richard Littlejohn

    "Imagine the next sergeants' exam. While most of the candidates are sitting in the waiting room doing some last-minute swotting up on the Police and Criminal Evidence Act, there's a Plod in the car park dancing naked round a fire and strangling a chicken."

    A bit of chicken choking before an exam was always a good stress reliever I thought.


    "In Strathclyde, ten officers claim to be Jedis, which is hardly surprising since Sauchiehall Street is swarming with spacemen at chucking out time on a Saturday night."

    Is perhaps going a bit far :D

    May the force by with you.......
  2. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    You have the right to remain silent - or I'll turn you into a newt :D
  3. You have the right to remain silent....

    Attached Files:

  4. Now I'd hate to accuse Littlecock of making things up, but it would be really unlike him to not get his facts right :roll:
    Since when has Hallowe'en been a Heathen festival?
  5. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

  6. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    If so its a good one:
  7. From the linky

    "Superintendent Simon Hawkins, of Hertfordshire Police, said: "While balancing operational needs, the force's religion and belief's policy gives all staff the choice of re-allocating the traditional Christian bank holiday festivals to suit their personal faith beliefs and this has been very well-received from a number of faith groups including Muslim and Jewish."

    Off-air to a colleague " I feel like a complete cnut having to spout this fecking sh1te! I'll be the laughing stock of the nick"
  8. Being a Pagan festival doesn't make it a Heathen festival. Pagan covers a multitude of different religions. Hallowe'en originates from the Celtic festival of Samhain, it has no connection to the Norse Pantheon.
  9. OK so it's not a heathen festival, but it is for BTW and others, including the fluffies.

    The Wail isn't going to bother with that kind of detail though, not when they can get all outraged and foam at the mouth about not everyone believing in the Archbishops imaginary friend.
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Basically a Christian festival ( All Saints day) but has Celtic and pagan roots.

    Now I appreciate Littlejohn is not on the Christmas card list of most plod, since he tends to hold in scorn some of the modern practices, but as his father was an old-fashioned (ok, you may say dinosaur) bobby, he is as entitled to his opinion as anyone. He just has a bigger audience than Police Review.
  11. Surely worshipping the Norse Gods wouldn't make him a Heathen either.
    Plus I doubt the Summer Solstice is a Norse festival too.

    At least it'll make him warry as f*ck; as should anything happen to him on duty, he'll end up in Valhalla and get the chance to scrap for eternity. Or, as I suspect, he'll be one of those dungeons and dragons types.
  12. Who really gives a shite if a pagan gets pagan festivals off (and Jews get Jewish holidays, Muslims get Islamic holidays etc)?

    Most Christians (including those who just tick CofE on everything because it's what their parents were and it doesn't matter that they haven't been to church for anything other than a wedding or funeral since they were ten) get the major Christian religious festivals (Christmas and Easter) off and no-one complains. In fact, most of us whinge if we get dicked to work over those holidays.
  13. Great. I guess there's going to be no arguments when the Christmas rosters are published.
  14. Eh - That sounds like a good idea to me. Can't see many people scrambling to do xmas duty. By allowing people to reallocate bank holidays, they solve the problem of having to dick somebody to work on double(?) wages.