Paddys new coat

My mate Paddy just called and said he’s got a bargain in Harrods. He said he bought an £1800 coat for £25. Paddy said the label stated that it was slightly imperfect but he had a good look over it and all he could find wrong was that one of the sleeves was 1 cm shorter than the other two.
I was talking to an old Int. Corps. friend on our Op Banner tours. " How did you like County Down?"

"Hasn't been the same since Carol Vordermann left!!" he replied.
Mick was walking to his mate Paddys farm, he could hear Sex Bomb booming from the barn.
Mick approached and through the door could see Paddy dressed in a Cameo thong thrusting his hips in time to music at a rusty old Massey Ferguson.
"what the fuck are you doing Paddy?"

A very embarrassed Paddy starts to explain how his sex life is poor and had saught medical advice, " the doc suggested I do something sexy to a tractor"

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