Paddy Joke

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Spasmcasm, Mar 6, 2012.

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  1. Paddy thinks his new girlfriend is the one for him.
    However, after a quick look through her knicker drawer, he reconsiders.
    "What made you change your mind?" asks Murphy
    "Well" says Paddy "when I looked in her knicker drawer, I found a nurses outfit, a French maids outfit and a police woman's outfit and to be honest, if she can't hold a job down, she ain't the one for me......"
     
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  2. A light aircraft crashed into an Irish cemetery today.
    Emergency services say they have recovered 374 bodies.
     
  3. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Jeez youse are really digging them up now. There can't be much left on the bones of this joke!
     
  4. Is this another Frank Carson thread?
     
  5. HHH

    HHH LE

    Yes, "It's A Cracker" thread, isn't it !
     
  6. It's the way you type them!
     
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  7. Two heavily pregnant paddys knitting, one says "I hope I have a boy I only have this blue wool." The other says I hope I have a spastic, I just fucked the arms up!!"
     
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  8. ...it's just missing the mother-in-law and the black bloke next door to be the perfect 70's joke thread.

    Rodney2q
     
  9. So you remember "Love Thy Neighbour" as well then :)
     
  10. Sadly I do...along with the other so called "comedy" shows like On the Buses and the saturday night variety shows.

    Thank heavens for Dad's Army, Monty Python and the Goodies. They kept me going until the Young Ones, Red Dwarf and Roseanne tipped up on the telly.

    :)

    Rodney2q
     
  11. Paddy is looking for a job and thinks he'll try his luck at the local Blacksmiths.

    "Tell me Paddy", says the blacksmith, "have you ever shoed a horse?"

    "No sor," replies Paddy, "but I once told a donkey to feck off".
     
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  12. Come on.. don't get all sandals and lentils. On the Buses was bloody funny.

    Years after the series had finished my school dragged me off to see The Mechant of Venice. Stephen Lewis (Blakey) was playing a part of someone or other. Whenever he came on stage his lines were drowned out by rows of kids muttering 'I'll get you Butler..uhuhuh....'
     
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  13. Paddy walks into a bar and says to the barman he would like ten whiskeys.

    "Must be a special occasion Paddy!" the barman replies as he lines up the shots.

    "Aye" says paddy as he starts knocking the tots down his neck. "I've just had my first blow job".

    "Wow Paddy, that is cause for celebration, let me buy you one too."

    "Nay" says Paddy, "If ten won't get the taste out of my mouth, eleven won't do much good either!"
     
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  14. Two Irishmen are looking through a mail-order catalogue. Paddy says, Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too.

    Mick agrees, I'm ordering one right now.

    Three weeks later, Paddy says to Mick, Has your woman turned up yet?

    No,says Mick,but it shouldn't be long now.

    Her clothes arrived yesterday.
     
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  15. Paddy called the RSPCA today and said "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox with four cubs"
    "That's terrible" said the lady RSPCA officer, "Are they moving?"
    "I'm not sure to be honest", said Paddy " but that would explain the suitcase!!"
     
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