P1ss bags

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by StabTiffy2B, Aug 30, 2007.

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  1. I've always had a strange facination with these things. It probably reached it's pinacle when the mrs was banging out the boy. She was being weak and had opted for an epidural. This meant she had to be fitted with a catheter. Now for those that don't know hanging around next to a bed waiting for a screaming bundle of joy to pop out is pretty boring and I found myself watching the bag to kill some time. Every now and again I'd be rewarded with a little tinkle of yellow. It did get me thinking, however. I wondered what would happen if I gave it a good squeeze, for example. Would the piss go back up the tube into her again, or would we all be rewarded with a delicious golden shower?

    I was also toying with the idea of trying to slip stuff in there when no-one was looking. I'd loved to have seen the face of the midwife when she came to empty the sack only to find a chicken drumstick floating in its new marinade.

    Amongst the ranks of Arrse Users, there are many self-confessed old knackers hanging around. Who's got funny stories off piss bag related shenanigans or desires?
  2. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    I had one fitted with a catheter down the ol japs eye when I came out of hospital after a op on the old JT.Bit of a strange sensation,strangle erotic....
    Should I be dressed in rubber with & gimp mask on for having these thoughts...???
  3. I think I need one! I nearly p1ssed myself reading that!
  4. If you're going to have it done, Spike, then you might as well enjoy it. As for being "fascinated" with p1ss bags as Stabtiffy puts it because there are very few other things to occupy your time on a hospital ward, take a PSP with you next time.

    Colostomy bags on the other hand... scheeerrrwing!
  5. I've just had to leave the office 'cause of that - best laugh all day.
    Can we do better than drumsticks? :D

    And long live the NAAFI bar - this is what it's all about.
  6. The worse thing is hospitals stock all kinds of cathaters, even UNLUBRECATED ones. I mean how evil do you have to be to ram an unlubed, latex tube, half an inch thick up someone japs eye?

    When I was in hospital with kindey stones the nurse said if the pain got to bad I could catherterise myself. I can't imagine the pain ever getting that bad.

  7. Fucking hell, you have a friggin interesting life
  8. Nah, just interesting me old scrote, but a bit of light relief doesn’t go amiss in this PC world I now find myself in. :p
  9. I've had a pissbag once!

    Laying in the hospital bed boring the shite out of my self.
    Bang! the doors flying up and in comes my mates.

    Sitting down around the bed, telling me what a shit state i look and if the drugs are any good.

    Suddenly one of them holds up the Pish bag and asking if this is pure 100% Norge.

    Well yes it was, I am pleased that i had got some Morphine when they shoved that fecker up my "preteen-tonsils toucher", cause it feckin did hurt to take it out.

    Ohh the joy of taking a Wank after that shit had gone!
  10. The entire chicken???
    Why not (if its you in bed), get the OH (if Pregs) to deposit a sample of her golden fluid in the bag - then wait till they do the testing on that sample :lol:
  11. All catheters are unlubricated...you just grab the pre-packed lube/lignocaine syringe along with it and use that before sliding the bvgger in. Without lube, I doubt it'd get very far.

    The lube/anaesthetic has other great uses in the bedroom which I'm sure I can leave to your imagination.
  12. My sister tells of when she was a student nurse on the geriatric ward and was helping an old gentleman with a full "baggie" out of bed and was putting on his slippers had the thing rupture and empty all over her head... I was glad I chose a military life... :D
  13. Why not chuck a condom into the p1ss bag, then casually mention to the nurses that you were sure you'd used protection and cant understand how the missus got pregnant....?
  14. I had one in, not the best giggle I've ever had, but what p1ssed me off (pardon the pun) was that I still got the nagging tickling sensation that I wanted a slash.
    Glad to see the back of it, and the ward, and the first post-op w4nk was like fire picquet drill, needing two hands on the end to control the jet.
  15. How about a feotus?