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Oyibo Needs A Shag

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MoleBath

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
\Coast is clear when in window
1597511943628.png
 
Right then Some perspective from someone who has commanded at all sorts of levels.

Is this a problem?

Depends.

Who is he, where does he serve and what does he do?

He is breaking no law.

He might, depending on the answers to the above, and how things are conducted, face an interview without coffee.

If he were in front of me (and many have) then I would want to know his intentions. If his current relationship had run out of steam and you were the new light in his life, well that is one thing. If it were clear he was just having his cake and eating (stop twittering at the back) it that would be different.

Every single day hundreds if not thousands of folks start to change track in relationship terms. The services are no different. Put bluntly these things happen. It is what the individual does next that counts.

In the case of the Army then it is a straightforward assessment of the behaviour of the individual set against the overall integrity honesty and general value of the transgressor.

There are other circumstances that, were I sitting with him sweating like a para in a spelling contest in front of me would need to be taken into consideration. If you are serving in the same unit and of significantly different rank then I would be very grumpy. If you were serving but in a different unit and of very different rank I would be quite grumpy. If I thought he were just being a twat and getting his leg over just for fun I would be extremely grumpy. If he were a SNCO in a key appointment I would be reaching for the smiting hammer.

And so on and so forth. Not a very helpful answer I know, but it really is about the circumstances.
What would you have done if a young Arthur Wellessley or Horatio Nelson was marched in, in front of you?
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
Me Sir,
Me Sir.
Pick me Sir,
I know the answer to this one Sir.....


Mine!
Your wife must be my ex. then - condolences etc.
BTW, don't let her put the house in her name 'in case anything happens' and no joint accounts, also check she's not claiming single parent allowances whilst you're out of UK...
 
OP. Look dear, the Husband is willing to cheat on his wife with you - he's willing to cheat on you as well, basically he's already proved that he is a lying, cheating scoundrel. You only live once & the world has over 3 Billion men in it - so it's not like there's not a lot of men to choose from. I am guessing you are a bit of a munter - hence the need to shag someone else's husband as you can't just pull a single man easily, in that case I hope you get an STD from this "Mr Shaggaalot" you are letting penetrate you, and get up the duff - that will teach you both a lesson.

In the end GOD will judge you on your actions in life - so I've no doubt I'll see you in hell :)
 
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By "the evidence", you mean your own narrow, empirical experience?

We have very different experience, and the fact you've never known anyone to lose their DV over an affair does not mean you are the Beacon of Truth on vetting issues.

It's a bit like me saying: "I've seen three different Infanteers pull IEDs out of the ground without setting them off, so it's safe for people to do that."

To which you would rightly reply: "That's complete bollocks - you don't know what you're talking about."

Get me? :)

It’s hardly my narrow evidence.

Show me the last person who was CM, discharged on disciplined in any way for having a non service related affair.

Have you ever known it happen?

I accept what you are saying regarding regulation/policy/convention, but then but those same rules people shouldn’t speed in military vehicles, but they do, ammunition should be returned as it is issued, but it never is we just get on dealing with it. It’s a fact of life.
 
What if Cosmo is actually Olga Kosmonov and has a strange military air about her?

And he works in a Secret Squirrel capacity.
If Olga was a Cis female, wouldn't she be Olga Kosmonova? However if Olga was previously called Boris Kosmonov before the Op, that would make sense.
 
We were talking about losing one's vetting, not disciplinary action.

The same applies. I’ve known people lose their vetting, it wasn’t for shagging.

Ive know people undertake extra curricular shagging and not lose their vetting.

Even shagging a Navy officers wife doesnt get you in trouble if you hold a qualification that’s needed.
 

CRmeansCeilingReached

ADC
Moderator
I've known lots of people do lots of things and not lose their vetting. I've known lots of people do lots of things and lose their vetting.

Claiming that having an affair is no risk to anyone's vetting just exposes the limited size of your sample.

Sent from my G8441 using Tapatalk
 

Truxx

LE
it’s all very subjective. If the OP’s boyfriend is some random lance jack in the MPGS or an RE bricklayer, the Army isn’t going to give a shit. On the other hand, if the OP’s name is Svetlana, recently arrived from Russia on a student visa and the boyfriend is an INT CORPS bod, then it looks a bit different, both from a “what is the risk here?” and “WTF were you thinking?” perspective.
When I was in Berlin I toddled off to a lunch in the mess, on arrival I was accosted by my 2 i/c who was bursting to share something

One of the subbies had tapped off

Good lad I thought

With the Russian Ambassadors crypto clerk.

Oh sh1t I thought and I made a call or two grabbed the cnutstruck Lt and headed for Bde HQ .

A few phone calls later we (he actually) was having a chat with the resident spook who just about wet himself.

Fair dos, the subbie in question was offered the option to either a. Help out or b. Not help out but crack on regardless. He chose b. And the relationship continued for some months until she started talking about settling down at which point they parted company.

Spying is one thing. Settling down another thing entirely.
 

Oops

War Hero
Your wife must be my ex. then - condolences etc.
BTW, don't let her put the house in her name 'in case anything happens' and no joint accounts, also check she's not claiming single parent allowances whilst you're out of UK...
Sorry Brother, should've made it clearer..
'Ex' too.

We did live in the same house after the divorce though.....
That was 'Fun'!

I think @Oyibo 's gonna start a new thread...

I'll take it over there, don't want to degrade this fragrant lady's life choices.
 
OP. Look dear, the Husband is willing to cheat on his wife with you - he's willing to cheat on you as well, basically he's already proved that he is a lying, cheating scoundrel. You only live one & the world has over 3 Billion men in it - so it's not like there's not a lot of men to choose from. I am guessing you are a bit of a munter - hence the need to shag someone else's husband as you can't just pull a single man easily, in that case I hope you get an STD from this "Mr Shaggaalot" you are letting penetrate you, and get up the duff - that will teach you both a lesson.

In the end GOD will judge you on your actions in life - so I've no doubt I'll see you in hell :)

You sound significantly bitter and I’m not your ‘dear’. I never said I wanted to run away and start a life with him but I understand why this situation has arisen. Sorry to disappoint but I’m not a munter as you so kindly put it (but I like your limited view that the only value a person could possess is physical) and I won’t see you in hell seeing as it doesn’t exist...
 
You sound significantly bitter and I’m not your ‘dear’. I never said I wanted to run away and start a life with him but I understand why this situation has arisen. Sorry to disappoint but I’m not a munter as you so kindly put it (but I like your limited view that the only value a person could possess is physical) and I won’t see you in hell seeing as it doesn’t exist...

Not a munter? Prove it.
 
The revenge of mumsnet!!
After a very ambiguous opening post the bus has surely been started by certain know-alls.
Well done CosmoOzi, an awesome first thread.

This bus. Will it have nurses on it?
 
OP. Look dear, the Husband is willing to cheat on his wife with you - he's willing to cheat on you as well, basically he's already proved that he is a lying, cheating scoundrel. You only live one & the world has over 3 Billion men in it - so it's not like there's not a lot of men to choose from. I am guessing you are a bit of a munter - hence the need to shag someone else's husband as you can't just pull a single man easily, in that case I hope you get an STD from this "Mr Shaggaalot" you are letting penetrate you, and get up the duff - that will teach you both a lesson.

In the end GOD will judge you on your actions in life - so I've no doubt I'll see you in hell :)

@don't tell him pike would
 
The same applies. I’ve known people lose their vetting, it wasn’t for shagging.

Ive know people undertake extra curricular shagging and not lose their vetting.

Even shagging a Navy officers wife doesnt get you in trouble if you hold a qualification that’s needed.
Even if that naval officer were to be Tim Laurence?
 
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