Thanks for everyone’s replies (some more helpful than others but I understand what I let myself in for when I posted).
So to try and address a few points yes I know this is wrong but it’s more complicated than that, I never understood how this could happen until I found myself in this position. In regards to the ‘fault’ debate I accept I am at fault and yes so is he neither of us are blameless it’s 50/50.
I don’t want to cause issues for him personally or in regards to his work and don’t want to hold it over him like some have suggested but I feel I needed to know as he’s worked hard to get to where he is and I’m concerned this is potentially clouding his judgement.
I really think to get to bottom of this we need pictures. Then we can provide some informed advice.