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Oyibo Needs A Shag

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OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
The cheery approach usually (but not always) works in Africa better than the angry one.

Anyway, back to my sexual peccadilloes:

Pretty much anything
I thought peccadiiloes were an endangered species, how come you am banging them?
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
I thought peccadiiloes were an endangered species, how come you am banging them?
I thought they were shoes...
Or some sort of fancy starter in a mexican restaurant
 

Oyibo

LE
I thought peccadiiloes were an endangered species, how come you am banging them?

I did buy my wife a peccadillo handbag once (from West Africa) but she would only use it to hit me when I had sex with married officers.
 
and yes he’s a Captain I’ve seen the proof
I’ve never seen mention of his wife though- and I thought he’d been made honorary Colonel?
In any case his elevation to the peerage trumps both. Good on you for some very public-spirited shagging- especially as that walking frame must be a right pain banging into the backs of your legs.
92DE4EA4-D9D2-4658-8BC4-627A4A16F2A9.jpeg
 
The cheery approach usually (but not always) works in Africa better than the angry one.

Anyway, back to my sexual peccadilloes:

Pretty much anything

Show anger and they know they've got you. Time will slow to a crawl and a bloke who spoke good English not 30 seconds ago will suddenly cease to understand a single word you utter. Trick is to play the game with them and settle down for the long run. Usually they'll cave if they see you're happy to spend the afternoon annoying them and delaying their siesta/ducking out the back to go home early.
 
Also, to help Oyibo in identifying his next shag .......

The European shag or common shag (Phalacrocorax aristotelis) is a species of cormorant. It breeds around the rocky coasts of western and southern Europe, southwest Asia and north Africa, mainly wintering in its breeding range except for the northernmost birds.
 

Smeggers

ADC
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Would sir like wax with that?
As an aside, I wonder how many of our currently serving brothers and sisters know what a bumper or Bass Broom actually look like or know how to use them or more importantly, know the consequences of not using them?

More importantly, how many have jumped on and tried to drive the bumper down a corridor, and how far did you get before you stacked it?
 
As a hypothetical situation, what if a married woman comes up to a single bloke and asks him for a shag cos she's gagging for it, to the point that she says he can stick it anywhere. Would that be classed as having an affair?

And would it count if it was an arranged marriage and she was a petite Asian girl whose hubby wasn't paying her the proper attention? Cos if she wasn't a Christian then technically that would make her a heathen and fair game in the eyes of the lord.

Asking for a friend.

Would this be the other girl in the room?
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
Yeah.. What Whey Aye Banzai said.

If there's kids involved walk away. It'll cause you grief in the long run.

Learn from the voice of experience. Mrs OS has 2 kids, we had previous from school, one thing led to another..... Although we have now been married for 15 years, her kids are a pain in the fecking arse!
We have 9 kids between us and 11 grandkids, they are all a pain in the arrse at various times and at different levels and will remain so until Ragnarok, gawd luv 'em all.
 

Daxx

MIA
Book Reviewer
No, you cant have his pension.
 
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