Overseas Posting - Leave of Court for Kids

Discussion in 'Finance, Property, Law' started by Horridlittleman, Jun 21, 2011.

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  1. Before I start, yes I am going to get proper legal advice but want to see if anyone has any experience in this matter.

    Basically my kids from my first marriage live with me and my second wife. I am due to get posted next year and the board sits whilst I am deployed later this year. My ex-wife will not give permission for me to take the kids overseas. Do I:

    a. Limit my postings (and severely hamper any hope of scraping back a career profile) to those within the UK? Also noting the impact during future redundancies.

    b. Go to court and get a pre-emptive leave of court. Although the courts may see this as me setting the conditions to deliberately choosing an overseas posting.

    c. Wait until the board sits and deal with the potential overseas posting then. Considering I will be in Afghanistan until potentially 2 months before my posting date. This could leave me in a position of turning down a very important job with no option of a regain.

    Has anyone had any dealings with this or know whether the courts err on the side of the service person?
     
  2. You were married to your children's mother so no matter their birth date you have parental responsibility. I say that because if unmarried the law changed on this issue afew years back but in your case the change will not affect you. You mention going to Afghan, I assume the children will be cared for by your wife, if so does she have parental reponsibility? If not, you do realise in your absence she has not a leg to stand on if your ex tried to reclaim the children. More importantly, bit grim but if any of the children need a life saving operation your wife could not give permission unless said parental responsibility were in place. The piece you do not mention is do you have a residency order (formerly known as custody although not exactly the same) or is the fact that your children live with you a private agreement between both you and your ex wife? If you do not have a residence order in place I strongly advise you get one soonest. I would also advise that, as I did, you apply to the courts as soon as possible for permission to take your child out of the country. DO NOT wait for any board, this is your chosen career and you should not be restricted on progressing it by limiting your assignment options. The court will not side on you being a service person, they may be sympathetic but they will look at both parents equally and consider the children's emotional and educational needs. Basically, your ex wife will have to argue the case as to why moving them out of the country will be detrimental to them, if there is no case to answer on this point then she will find it difficult to stop you. You are missing what I feel will be your hardest arguement as the courts will ask for what proposals there are for regular contact with the mother if you are granted an order to remove the children from country and you must have some sort of reasonable and acceptable proposal in place. The court will not listen to an every six month scenario, it has to be more than that and it will be a sacrifice and hassle on your part but I urge you to consider this ahead of any hearing. You may also be referred to CAFCAS (Cafcass - Putting children first in family courts) as I was, look at their web site and prepare yourself.

    Bottom line is waiting is not an option, you should address this soonest, by the legal route as you allude to but do not wait. PM me if you need any other advice. Oh, get your kids passports!
     
  3. WT, cheers for the reply. I do have a residence order and my wife has parental responsibility granted to her in that so that is not an issue. By virtue of the job my wife has more actual responsibility for my kids than either myself or my ex-wife! I have already made a proposal to my ex-wife regarding contact, currently every other weekend with 50:50 shared travel (I'm currently front-loading the driving before I deploy), my proposal is basically still shared responsibility for travel but for longer periods of all the holidays to make up for the shorter more frequent current arrangement.

    I had dealings with CAFCAS before while a contact order (that contains the residency) was drawn up.
     
  4. How often does your ex see them at the moment? Could this access be maintained if you went to BFG... or Brunei?

    Have you spoken to her and explained what a nice time the kids will have in a foreign country learning forign culture and swear words?
     
  5. My ex-wife popped smoke when we were in Germany, 2 of my kids were born when I was on ops and the other while we were in Germany so she knows the score! She knows the benefits of living overseas. Germany is a real option to get posted to and the contact arrangements aren't to difficult to maintain. The real difficulty will be if the Falklands or Canada come up!