Over to you!!

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#3
I normally get some kind of oily sparrow if I buy KFC. Surely that is not...food? A small one has just opened near my house...next to an M&S shop...tut no taste...I think I'm safe.
If I make my own... I now just drown some canaries in diesel, burn them for a few minutes. I then cut out some 3 inch strips of polysterene and pour salt on them and dip them in ketchup. I then get some cleaning chemicals pour into a paper cup and water down, add ice and a straw. Then I invite about 25 badly dressed, moody 'gangstas' and enourmously fat ladies with huge sulky lips to stand in a line in the hallway. That all pretty much re-creates the experience and I dont need to look for parking.
I can see the plus side to this, however, are you 16 with zits and have you got a badge with 1 star on it and the name of Trainee.

What about your drive thru?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#4
Oh no I've obviously given my-self a management position. But I work the 'front lines' as it were at peak times, such as at my own dinner time really...its pretty quiet outside of that. some bloke called 'me' comes in for a snack or a coffee sometimes.

yeah the drive in is being built now - i had some delays as i need to intersect the garden path with the drive way. as this seems to be the dare-devil fashion of all drive ins. the customer must learn that their life is cheap when they enter by being nearly run down by a people carrier while the driver is occupied with having some chips while driving away. I mean I thought it would be sensible to keep walk ways away from the main car traffic but it shows I have a lot to learn. I also painted walkways and parking bays then worn away most of the paint with a sander so as to add to the chaos. I've removed any hooks from the back of the toilet door and installed a sink the size of a packet of fags as well, nice touch that I thought.
Do you urinate on the toilet floor yourself? If not I am leaving the service soon and am looking for a worthwhile job in civvy street. I can also chew gum and say "Innit" in a convincing manner.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#5
I would send a CV but I can't spell it.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#6
Dont bother I'm not going to respect you as an employee anyway. Let me know when you need time off and I'll plan all your shifts on those dates. Not around them mind, on them.
Your my old RAO arn't you!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
Not at all, I found your methods of having no back bone, fucking around with my leave, micro management of all the staff, less myself because you didn't have a clue what my job entailed, quite refreshing. Previously I only had to experience 12 hour days and 6 day weeks.
 
#9
Mr D, have you installed the ultraviolet light in your toilet to hamper your customers shooting up in the bogs? That really is the telltale sign that you are in a classy establishment.

Nothing quite like stumbling into KFC in a drunken haze in search of a bucket of greasy beak and feet in breadcrumb. Yum.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#10
For real ambience you need to remove the lock from the toilet and put the bog roll on the piss soaked floor, remove the fuse from the hand drier and leave a towel, that has just returned from a Herrick tour with 600 Recy Mechs, as a replacement.
 
#11
KFC must have the best marketing in the world. The idea of the Colonel's spices and plump yummy chook always manages to overcome my memory of exactly how foul the reality is, contrasted to the image. We make "southern fried chicken" at home and it is delicious, yet we do not have the facilities of the average KFC restaurant - who therefore surely ought to be churning out good fried chicken on an industrial scale? Rather than as Mr D puts it, oily sparrow!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#12
KFC must have the best marketing in the world. The idea of the Colonel's juices and plump yummy cock always manages to overcome my memory of exactly how foul the reality is, contrasted to the image. We make "southern fried chicken" at home and it is delicious, yet we do not have the facilities of the average KFC restaurant - who therefore surely ought to be churning out good fried chicken on an industrial scale? Rather than as Mr D puts it, oily sparrow!
Fixed it for you, no need to thank me.
 
#13
It's not KFC, but MacDonald's slogan "I'm lovin it!" was pure class....... especially on the back of some spotty geek's t-shirt mopping up the vomit from a kiddies' party in Redhill.
 
#14
You will have to staff your new franchise with your Aussie guests Mr D. KFC can only be staffed by none English speakers. To make it a truly authentic KFC dining experience you should also teach them to suck their teeth as they take your order.
 
#15
Funniest responses to a thread I've seen for a long time, except for mine.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#16
Don't forget,

"Is you wannin it sopersize innit"

No thanks, just one mouthful of spit and other bodily fluids is fine, but thanks anyway Blud!
 
#17
We really should think about opening an Arrse bar and grill. Rampant mixing the cocktails, J.D. on the door punching drunken Poles alongside Dale who'll just punch everyone. Bravo_Bravo can sort the valet parking and I'll be in charge of gobbing in the food. Boozy can be a waitress but we'll have to keep her off the grog as she'll rapidly resemble the dad from Rita,Sue and Bob too!
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#18
We really should think about opening an Arrse bar and grill. Rampant mixing the cocktails, J.D. on the door punching drunken Poles alongside Dale who'll just punch everyone. Bravo_Bravo can sort the valet parking and I'll be in charge of gobbing in the food. Boozy can be a waitress but we'll have to keep her off the grog as she'll rapidly resemble the dad from Rita,Sue and Bob too!
Can Ord-sgt clean out the pipes?
 
#19

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