Outstaying your welcome

#1
OK peeps help me out here,

Been in touch with someone from facebook for over a year nothing sexual like just chatting but anyway they are over in Europe and inform me that they will be in the UK until around May OK says I don't be a stranger so from the jist of the convo's she's staying with relatives in the UK and she asks if she can come up for Christmas wasn't really keen TBH explained the situation with the works going on in the flat. Ho it'll not be a problem she tells me stupidly I say yeah OK thinking it'll be for just a few days.

So anyway she's been here since Weds night and not mentioned when she plans to leave I think she thought she could be here for a few weeks but I just want the place back to myself now. She's not actually done anything wrong but she has just shrunk a jumper in the wash. But now she's talking of heading off to Crete but cant get flights dont want to be stuck with her for weeks but could do with tying her down to a date when she'll leave but being polite about it if you know what I mean.

As this is the NAFFI I could chop her up and put her in the old washhouse in the yard no-one goes out there so the smell wouldnt be apprent
 
#2
tell her you are going away for New Year so she has to be gone by Thursday
 
#3
Kick her back doors in.....

She'll either leave, or you can do it again.

Win Win.
 
#5
Swamp your bed. If she doesn't get pissed off, she's a keeper
 
#6
No imagination, I despair of our youngsters.

Stalk her, follow her everywhere, let her see you smelling her used knickers, peer at her when she's in bed through the crack in the door, play your "Speeches of Hitler" CD all night, march around the flat pledging allegiance to the Reich, finally, punch her in the back of the head then do her up the arse.

She'll get the message.
 
#7
Spaff one out over her face whilst she's sleeping.
In the same idea as Chocolate_frogs reply, she'll either leave very f'cking quickly, or lick you clean.

Win-Won =D
 
#9
Along similar lines as CQMS, develop some really nasty personal habits, ones that don't necessarily spoil the friendship but ensure it's kept at a safe distance from now on!
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#10
As Grey_Mafia says, gently inform her that you want to take her dogging outside Merville Bks.
If she says no, tell her you & the lads are bringing the trophies back to your flat for a brutal gangfcuk and anything vaguely female will be fair game.
If she agrees tell her she's a derty hooer and must get the fcuk out of your Christian home before sundown.

Then proceed to do bollocky bunny hops around your flat, crimping a small length off every three jumps.
(Don't forget to lock your fingers together behind your head. Standards lad, standards.)
 
#12
I take it she's a munter, then?

FFS, mate. You live in Paisley. You should be grateful if she looks even remotely female.
 
#13
"Accidentaly " leave some Scat porn on your PC for her to find, watch her recoil in horror.
If she doesn't? hand her the keys to the flat and get ready to sell the Big Issue with the rest of the homeless. :(
 
#14
CQMS said:
No imagination, I despair of our youngsters.

Stalk her, follow her everywhere, let her see you smelling her used knickers, peer at her when she's in bed through the crack in the door, play your "Speeches of Hitler" CD all night, march around the flat pledging allegiance to the Reich, finally, punch her in the back of the head then do her up the arse.

She'll get the message.
Unless she has a Aufseherin fetish, then you're fecked.

As been said before, you let her stay before you smashed her back doors in :?
 
#15
Ask her for a trombone.......
 
#17
scarletto said:
You invite someone youve never actually met to move in for a 'while' You havent shagged her yet, i guess your gay.
Nope banged her the 2nd night she was here

Just waiting for her to jump off so I can bring my new squeeze round 30 year old horse riding instructor....facebook is great :wink:

[quote="smartascarrots"
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:46 pm Post subject: Re: Outstaying your welcome
I take it she's a munter, then?

FFS, mate. You live in Paisley. You should be grateful if she looks even remotely female.[/quote]

Fuck off I might live there but I'm from there Anyway you've got a cheek coming fae east Ayrshire they all look like Daphne Broon
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#18
Wait until the light's gone out in your 'guest' room & leap in wearing a gold lurex bodysuit with the crotch cut out while shining your Surefire on your tumescent cam-creamed member and scream in Pashto, "This cock's not going to suck itself you fat bitch !"
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#19
Get her an Arrse account and put her on the site. Then show her how to PM CQMS and when they strike up the obvious relationship you can suggest she moves to stay with CQMS.

It will solve your dilemma and you never know, it might even cheer up CQMS, although I doubt there is much in this world that can do that :wink:
 
#20
brettarider said:
Just waiting for her to jump off so I can bring my new squeeze round 30 year old horse riding instructor....facebook is great :wink:
Why wait? Either 1st guest will get hint and pack up, or join in... is this not another win-win situation?
 

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