I have recently been seeing a top Doris. I have awarded her the status of honorary squaddie bird. Reasons are as follows: 1. She does a mean egg banjo on request. 2. She puts out often. 3. She has earned her brown wings. 4. There is always beer in the fridge. 5. She prefers driving to the pub as there are not as many calories in diet coke as beer. 6. She has a true squaddie sense of humour including pointing out and laughing at mongs and chavs (same thing). 7. She has more porn than I do. 8. She farts louder than I ever could. 9. She is happy to snog her girlfriends while I watch. 10. She actively takes the piss out of everyone she meets. So what else could a man want, what does your Doris do for you. For her continued training and education what could make her even better at her job ???