Ouch and Gawddam!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jun 12, 2008.

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  1. If I was the groom I'd be polishing the Webley and coming up with an alibi as to why the wife and her boytoy were leaking blood on the rug... Jeez what a kick in the balls this must have been.

    Andrea McMillan's marriage lasted only until she made it to the bar. She got married on a beach in Cuba recently, but ditched her husband after meeting the guy who was tending the bar at the wedding.

    It was love at first sight, she claims when she spotted Jose Miguel mixing the drinks. She broke up with hubby Carl on the plane on the way home and plans to return to Cuba to hitch up with Jose. " I cried myself to sleep. I had to down a few pina coladas to go through with the wedding. I told Carl I didn't want to marry him, but he said it was pre-wedding nerves. Our friends had saved to fly out with us so I felt I had no choice but to do it." [ they couldn't have partied anyway and just ignored the nuptuals?? ]

    Andrea said she felt like being hit by lightning when she met Jose, something she did not experience with hubby. " Carl is a lovely man but there never were any fireworks " [ aww gee.. ]

    She claims not to have consumated the marriage [ nor the affair ] while in Cuba.
    The kicker is that ol Jose is married as well but has dumped his wife and plans to join Andrea in the UK ' once his visa is sorted out " [ fleeing Castro for the riches of ol Blighty doesn't have anything to do with his burning love for Andrea, I suppose ]...

    what a tangled web... film at 11 and soon to be a comdey starring Lindsay Lohan perchance??
    must all be true as that reputable journal in London, the Sun, has illuminated this dilemma..

    If I was Jose, as soon as I got clearance to flee Commie Island for the Freedom of the West, I'd ditch the nutter and pick out a nice Russian/Polish bride from the catalogue...
  2. Snakes with t1ts the lot of 'em.
  3. That's a broad who knows her own mind, albeit that it isn't actually connected to her brain.

    Sort of reinforces your stereotypical view of the type of people who feel that they just have to go to some idiotic location just to get married instead of the local church/registry office/mcdonalds car park
  4. is this tart related to the one who phoned her boyfriend whilst bumpin uglies with her old boyfriend, that sort of insanity usually runs in families.