Orrstraya Day

Discussion in 'Multinational HQ' started by mizkrissi, Jan 26, 2006.

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  1. On behalf of all the assorted fecking convicts here at present would just like to wish the rest of you prolapsed arsebandits a very Happy Orstraya Day. Miz tells us that there are a few more strayans on this godforsaken board COME ON AUSSIE! SHe left her pc logged in while doing the beer run.
    That will teach her
    Next time LOG OUT never trust anyone hahahahahahahahahahah
  2. What are they doing on this board when they should be in Earl's Court serving beer?

    Get back to work, you filthy colonials.
  3. Especially if they are green and gold wearing poofy crap Aussie Rules playing, weak p1ss drinking, bad sportsmen (and women) residents of a country that goes up in flames every year and is proud to call its self 'girt by sea'
  4. I've been invited to a celebratory BBQ this evening and as much as I like the stubbies of VB and the shrimps & yabbies on the menu, I'm not sure I can put up with such a concentration of the Strine Whine - it will make my ears bleed!

    Edit: Happy Australia Day, ya mongrels! :D
  5. Don't be too harsh. We may only be 30 seconds old but we make up for our shallow culture with barrels of of enthusiasm. Blackhand is right about going up in Flames, half of Victoria is on fire so you're either fighting bush fires today or getting shite faced. I have never known a Nation to get p*ssed collectively but the Aussie give it a fukcen nudge.

    In 42 degree heat I wish all you barstewards Happy Aussie Day. Now we get to sing the only song Aussies know, all together now "Once a jolly swagman camped by a.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. You're the bezz mate I've ever addd........ Hey, which one u yew blokes chundered in my boot???..... Barcoo a gum tree a wagga wagga....... did I tell you you're the bezz mate I eva add...........jeeezuz look at the t*ts on that roo...

    This taste of Aussie culture is brought to you by Victoria Bitter VB, a mans drink (also drunk by women).
  6. Happy Australia Day... hope you get proper shiters boys! :D
  7. Hippy Oz Day? Hope ya all have a good toime?

    An win ya speak, stop inding ivry sintince with a qwistchin maaaahk?
  8. Australia Australia we love you. Amen

    As its aussie day and even though it's bloody freezing here, I'm going to throw some shelias on the barbie, stick a dunny up the dingo and eat a raw prawn...or something like that.
  9. Cr@p on mate! Victorian pish. Coopers is the man's drink :D
  10. It is almost that time of year again people. January 26 - Australia Day.

    In honour of this great occasion they have just released the best political broadcast I have ever seen in my life. The website has the full three minute speech on flash player for low, medium or high speed connections. This must be the most concise speech I have ever heard in a political broadcast in my life. I agreed with every sentiment expressed. It is a timely presentation considering the debate that is ongoing in Australia about the effect of immigration on the country.

  11. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor


    I wish we could have someone in this country with the balls to talk like that - and I don't mean the BNP :crash:
  12. Never take the pish out of an Aussie. Whatever they reply with finishes with, "And when are you applying to come over?"
    No Fair
  13. This would be an appropriate time to post a story on the creation of Australia.

    In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy
    matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going
    prawning, sleeping and barbies.

    God saw that it was good.

    Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day. On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach.

    God saw that it was good.

    Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day. On the Third Day God created the earth to bring forth plants, to provide tobacco, malt
    and yeast for beer and wood for barbies.

    God saw that it was good.

    Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day. On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for barbies.

    God saw that it was good.

    Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day. On the Fifth day
    God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the
    beer and eat the meat and prawns at barbies.

    God saw that it was good.

    Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day. On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the
    footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with. So God
    created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes.

    God saw that it was good.

    Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day. On the Seventh Day God saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest.

    So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, cook
    and clean the barbie.

    Evening came and it was the end of the Seventh day. God sighed, looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes and Sheilas, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns, and God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was bloody good.

  14. Sizzling prawns i could kill for some right now!!!
  15. This has done the email rounds but still a giggle.

    God bless Australia!


    We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional w@nker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. We are One Nation but divided into many States.

    First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day, and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's livable". At least that's what they think. The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

    New South Wales
    Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.

    Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

    South Australia
    South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

    Western Australia
    Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. It's main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the government and business.

    Northern Territory
    The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty kids with big smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it on our way to Bali.

    And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next. Why he filled it with ********* remains a mystery.

    Australian Capital Territory
    Oh yes and there's Canberra. The less said the better.

    We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda“ our national anthem (so what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide).

    We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning.

    And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and horse racing.

    Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime. I am, you are, we are Australian!

    PS. We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National Crest!!!! No other country has this distinction!