Order of Battle - 1st Chav Battalion

#1
Given the influx of walts, mongs and general chav scum, identified and loose on this site, it is my proposal that we give them a Unit of their own. Quite similar to the various ideas on a Mong Inf Unit but orientated for close quarter fighting in an urban environment.

With their excellent skills in 'appyslappin' and 'joyriddin' the Chavs Company will provide the forces with a shock troop capability. Given their apptitude with technology, there will also be no requirement for inbedded reporters, every contact and skirmish will be filmed using the latest mobile phones. Just like the windtalkers of WW2 fame, this specialised unit will also use a means of cryptic communication, based upon the English language but punctuated (not) with smilies and txt speak. Rations will outsourced to McDonald's.

The Walts are to be used in a Super Secret, 'you ain't seen me right' Battalion. It will be their mission to confuse the enemy with stories of guile and cunning, whilst masquerading as Field Marshal's and holding down their day job at Tescos.

I have already identified two members of this newly formed unit (5.56IQ and Soldiers_Meatxx). I'm thinking of putting 5.56 in the RQs initially but I have also pigeon holed him for the training wing....soldiers_meatxx can work in the NAAFI bar until I've worked out what exactly to do to her.

Have we anyone else that we could utilise for this new Unit?
 

WALT

War Hero
#2
C-i-C or I'm not chuffin well playing. It's all right, I've got my own Sam Browne and pointy shiny thing and I can use it to salute and open Champagne bottles (well what else is it for?).

Oh hang on, that's not very chav is it? Right, Asti Spumante at dawn it is. 20 paces, behind the Spar.
 
#3
you need chav occifers first.

chav officer in chief

COINC Michael Carrol (MC DJ BSC SSC) take a bow sir

all chav officers have gold from argos as "pips" innit.
 

SCoy

War Hero
#4
Ceremonial Uniforms by Nike, Reebok and Burberry

Adornments by Elizabeth Duke

Mechanized role by Vauxhall

Catering by McDonalds/Spar
:D
 
#5
Logistics by me mate down the pub - he can get us anything like.
 
#9
Pay and Allowances

DHSS and North Dorset District Council
 
#10
I think Pte Golden is well overdue his RSM in this new "crack" unit.

His mate (the really thin one from the pic) can be RP Sgt.
 
#11
Not forgetting their ceremonial duties in London- courtesy of the Household Chavalry. Burberry clad warriors mounted on mopeds.
 
#12
Signals by Nokia, task of ensuring compatability across the net assigned to "that bloke on that market stall who does unlocks for a tenner"
Credit supplied via DSS food vouchers
 
#14
what rank system would the walt regiment have, surely the amount of liars would mean everyone is an ex WO1 from 69 SAS.

as for the chavs do they have the nick in the eyebrow to replace chevrons?

Example: 3 nicks on left eyebrow to indicate sgt
 
#16
Why should they get better comms than us? Just give 'em bricks and paper - that's assuming any of them can write sans phone.

Why not incorporate a burberry clad mong holding "bling" gold chains that can be enraged and used as a mine clearance flail?!
 
#18
easy-wan-kenobi said:
what rank system would the walt regiment have, surely the amount of liars would mean everyone is an ex WO1 from 69 SAS.

as for the chavs do they have the nick in the eyebrow to replace chevrons?

Example: 3 nicks on left eyebrow to indicate sgt
No No it has to be sovs on the hand. The more Elizabeth Duke sovs adorning the hand the higher the rank
 
#19
Could we also have an illegal immigrant Squadron/Company just in case recruiting falls short?
 
#20
rank structure is by sovereign rings of course.
 
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