Order of Battle - 1st Chav Battalion

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bravo2nothing, May 4, 2006.

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  1. Given the influx of walts, mongs and general chav scum, identified and loose on this site, it is my proposal that we give them a Unit of their own. Quite similar to the various ideas on a Mong Inf Unit but orientated for close quarter fighting in an urban environment.

    With their excellent skills in 'appyslappin' and 'joyriddin' the Chavs Company will provide the forces with a shock troop capability. Given their apptitude with technology, there will also be no requirement for inbedded reporters, every contact and skirmish will be filmed using the latest mobile phones. Just like the windtalkers of WW2 fame, this specialised unit will also use a means of cryptic communication, based upon the English language but punctuated (not) with smilies and txt speak. Rations will outsourced to McDonald's.

    The Walts are to be used in a Super Secret, 'you ain't seen me right' Battalion. It will be their mission to confuse the enemy with stories of guile and cunning, whilst masquerading as Field Marshal's and holding down their day job at Tescos.

    I have already identified two members of this newly formed unit (5.56IQ and Soldiers_Meatxx). I'm thinking of putting 5.56 in the RQs initially but I have also pigeon holed him for the training wing....soldiers_meatxx can work in the NAAFI bar until I've worked out what exactly to do to her.

    Have we anyone else that we could utilise for this new Unit?
  2. C-i-C or I'm not chuffin well playing. It's all right, I've got my own Sam Browne and pointy shiny thing and I can use it to salute and open Champagne bottles (well what else is it for?).

    Oh hang on, that's not very chav is it? Right, Asti Spumante at dawn it is. 20 paces, behind the Spar.
  3. you need chav occifers first.

    chav officer in chief

    COINC Michael Carrol (MC DJ BSC SSC) take a bow sir

    all chav officers have gold from argos as "pips" innit.
  4. Ceremonial Uniforms by Nike, Reebok and Burberry

    Adornments by Elizabeth Duke

    Mechanized role by Vauxhall

    Catering by McDonalds/Spar
  5. Logistics by me mate down the pub - he can get us anything like.
  6. Deployment by Ryan Air
  7. Medical Supplies by Baz

    Camouflage by my mate Dave, coz he's, y'kno, got a lotta grass.
  8. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    NAAFI courtesy of Lambrini.
    Regimental Standard by Burberry
    Regimental Moscot - Jade Goody
  9. Pay and Allowances

    DHSS and North Dorset District Council
  10. I think Pte Golden is well overdue his RSM in this new "crack" unit.

    His mate (the really thin one from the pic) can be RP Sgt.
  11. Not forgetting their ceremonial duties in London- courtesy of the Household Chavalry. Burberry clad warriors mounted on mopeds.
  12. Signals by Nokia, task of ensuring compatability across the net assigned to "that bloke on that market stall who does unlocks for a tenner"
    Credit supplied via DSS food vouchers
  13. Supply sponsered by Ford Transit
  14. what rank system would the walt regiment have, surely the amount of liars would mean everyone is an ex WO1 from 69 SAS.

    as for the chavs do they have the nick in the eyebrow to replace chevrons?

    Example: 3 nicks on left eyebrow to indicate sgt
  15. Number of chains, or angle of cap?