Operational GU Clinic!!

[GreenGoddess]

Now Ive heard it all. A friend of mine (it really was a friend :-[) rang for an appointment at the Frimley Park Military GU Clinic, only to be informed that they have a long waitings list for females due to the deployment of most of the staff on OP Telic.

Now I know they say win thier hearts & minds but isnt shagging the locals a bit much. ???

Nice comments please.

 

[woopert]

Any chance you can tell me who this friend is so that I can avoid sh@gging her?  

 

[Gash_Handlin]

Don't worry Woop, I'm sure you can avoid shaggin her without knowing who she is

 

[nurse]

GU services will be on offer in the Gulf at 33 fld hosp.

 

[Ventress]

Unfortunately the queue will be horrendous, as Mr Tickle is deploying with the 200 odd females!

 

[Gunny Highway]

Nurse,

Will they be able to sort my rash out?  The pain is getting worse as I walk.  

 

[flash_to_bang]

Gunny, you are a sad case and getting sadder by hte sound of it.  We won't be seeing stories of locals getting the good news, it will be all the "captain crumpet" stories of bored soldier shagging each other, or preferably shagging the yanks

 

[Pox_Dr]

In answer to Green Goddess, all my staff have been ear marked for Op Telic, as their is a genuine operational need in areas of conflict for Genito Urinary Medicine Nurse Specialists GUM NS.

1. They are duel trained as general nurses & GUM NS, therefore an asset to any field hospital.

2. With the amount of perceived good bye kisses & cuddles that 25000 troop will have, a reasonable number of them will inherit good bye gifts which will present once in theatre.

3. A number of troops will be deploying with on going problems already known about by the GUM service & will require continuation of care.

4. Hearts & minds isn’t our concern, but green on green is. With the amount of bodies, both male & female collocated for long periods of time together in at times very boring situations they will find time to slip of & indulge themselves. Some requiring assistance from myself & my team as a result.

So sorry if your friend feels put out, she will eventually be seen, just be patient.

Hi Nurse, yes you have been working with me for the last month or so. Its your fault Im hooked on this bloody site. Hope your enjoying your OPTAG training in the snow  .

 

[Gunny Highway]

Gunny, you are a sad case and getting sadder by hte sound of it.  

Why, thank you Flashy Banger.  I love you too !!

 

[error_unknown]

Pox Doc & Nurse.

Poor OPSEC.  I now know who you both are!  You are not alone!!!!!

 

[Pox_Dr]

You are???

Any hints past patient may be  

 

[nurse]

Hi Dr _pox

OPTAG was good fun.

OPSEC yep get the message but how many in theatre will know we exist?

 

[error_unknown]

Dont forget that GU is needed for lessons learned through history....
1. For every person injured during the first world war, there was one with an STD.
2. Saif Sierra did not deploy with any GU back up, resulting in soldiers being flown out of theatre with STD's.
3. At least 10% of every unit will be already carrying and STD, what you bring home is not the present problem, it's what you take with you initially.
4. If you cant get an appointment at frimley, simply volunteer for the Gulf! You wont have to wait 3 weeks for an appointment like you do in most NHS clinics.
5. Failing that, get your lazy keeshter on the train to catterick or fly out to belfast, you can be seen there.

 

[Disillusioned]

Pox Doc & Nurse.

Poor OPSEC.  I now know who you both are!  You are not alone!!!!!

OPSEC....so hopefully that's not your work email address that's there for all to see

 

[Mighty_doh_nut]

LOLOLOLOL

Hello kettle this is Pot over:-

 

[foggy_balla]

One of my troops is convinced he got away with a recent indiscretion by telling the wife he ended up with a dose of crabs due to kipping in someone else's manky doss-bag over a few days.  What he is unaware of, is that having met his wife soon afterwards, one of the first things mentioned to me was how she hoped I would be less tolerant of extramarital affairs than his last Plt comd.   Her attitude was due mainly to the fact that he managed to give her a dose of pubic nits and tried to explain it away with some ropey sleeping bag story.  This soldier is currently thinking of excuses to avoid sex until his latest pishing fire business clears up.  I've suggested honesty, or more likely to be used, impotence.