Open relationship - bad idea to even mention it??

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by meril28, Aug 12, 2009.

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  1. Hi All

    I'm a newbie.

    I've recently got involved with a guy who's been serving for a few years now. I'm a civi and admit I know bugger all about army life...

    The things is, I've sort of known this guy for years, but only been chatting to him in a, I guess you'd say, romantic way for a couple of months. I've spent precious little time actually with him at this point in time. I like him lots but I don’t feel like I know him that well yet.
    The relationship started off as mainly sexual, then emotions kind of came afterwards and we do have a deeper thing than just lust now IMO.

    The problem is that he's going away for months soon, and he's said that he will not mess around with anyone else while he's talking to and seeing me. Which should be music to my ears, but it’s not.

    I don’t think I can honestly say that I'll be true to someone I don’t feel like I even half know yet. Much as I do like him, what if I spend the next 6 months waiting for someone, who then comes home and we spend proper time together, and I discover he's a complete tw@t?? (worst case scenario, but that’s me - I’m a realist!)

    I'm also not naive. Why would he be any different and promise to stay faithful to someone he hardly knows, who knows bugger all about what he does, and wont see for the next half a year??

    So, I want to suggest that we do keep in touch and continue to get to know each other and meet up when he's back. BUT, that while we're apart we can see other people, as long as there are rules (no mutual friends, always play safe etc)

    We have pretty open discussions and I do feel like I can talk to him about anything. But seeing as he brought up the conversation on the exclusive arrangement, I'm a little scared of blowing the whole thing before it's started…
    ….Or did he only say it because he thought that's what I wanted to hear?

    OK, bring on your opinions please......
  2. If there isn't a ring on your finger, feel free to drop your knickers for anyone and anything. Job jobbed! Next question.
  3. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Chances are, if he is going away for 6 months to somewhere that is hot and sandy, he will have no choice but to stay faithful to you.
  4. Best bet is to just go along with it then do what you want when he's away.

    I can do discreet and will quite happily kick your back doors in for you without letting anyone know.
  5. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Phew, good job you didn't mention the camels!
  6. Your a sl*t simple.
    Youll be dabbing lukewarm batter off your wobbly belly with a babywipe with the sound of a spotty urchins urine tinkling off your Mums toilet bowl within a week of him setting off.
  7. Sounds like a Wahhh but i will bite anyway....

    Depends how gopping (or not) you are and how gopping (or not) he is, If he is better looking then you (and by that I mean do your friends think he is fit etc) or vice-versa his answer will be dependent on these facts.

    Either way your going to get rattled by someone else while he is away as you have already convinced yourself its a good idea, I give you two weeks.
  8. If it's called meril it's going to be a howler.
  9. But is she a Marauder?
  10. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    How soon is he off, and do you have an 'adventurous nature'?

    Please PM for further details, I am less fussy than Jonno! ;)
  11. Gremlin, join the queue, there's a good fellow.
  12. Is it really that difficult to not have sex for six months? Its not that long and if he does end up being a tw@t then you haven't lost anything have you? It may even benefit you to have 6 months off so to speak. I think give it a go it sounds like you have nothing to lose whatever you chose to do.
  13. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Boring sod! Not into team sports then?
  14. As Gremlin said, please PM me with your location & suitable visisting times.
    I promise to be gentle*.

    *Until I've lulled you in to a false of security. Then I'll become a vicious, howling psychopath that will do unspeakable, deprived sex acts with you, before using you as worm bait in my pre-prepared shallow grave.
  15. I'm hot and so's he, I'd say we're both an 8 n half lol
    and no he's not going somewhere hot and sandy and he will have some socialising opportunities (so he tells me)

    @ Reni - I can be a $lut when I'm single yeah, but, I've never cheated on anyone in my life. I'll be faithful if I'm with someone. if I get tempted while I'm in a relationship, then obviously that relationship isnt for me and I end it. That's why I'm deliberating on this one, I dont make promises I cant keep.

    So do you reckon he'll be at it then?? Judging by the attitude of you lot, I do!!

    @ Jonno , Meril isnt my name, dont know what forums he peruses so didnt use my real name.....