OOOOPS Did I really say that?? Double Entendres.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by toffeewrapper1, Jun 24, 2011.

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  1. Shamlessly copied and pasted from elsewhere.

    1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

    2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

    3.. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

    4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

    5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnold Palmer is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

    6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

    7. A female news reader who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'
    Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

    8. And another weather one, the BBC news reader turned to Isobel Lang at the end of the news, "Well it's warm and wet outside - Isobel Lang are you warm and wet this afternoon"?

    9. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

    10. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

    11. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

    12. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

    13. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'Paul_1978

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  2. You're from Wakefield ?

  3. No,in my rush to shamelessly copy and paste I didn't delete that bit.Not far though!
  4. Ahh I'll send you a PM about an event.
  5. The Password for the event will be "Does this smell of Chloroform?", some Anal soreness may occur.
  6. You are very naughty and you know what happens to naughty boys.
  7. Yes I watched Children in Prison the other night, They get large rooms, Big tellies, XBoxes and 3 meals a day.

  8. You are Stephen Fry and I claim my £5
  9. Yes that's right I'll post a picture. ImageUploadedByARRSE1308931989.888311.jpg
  10. I'll keep that fiver ta I'm much younger and better looking. Imagine a young Leonardo Dicaprio.

  11. Even all those who haven't met you say to themselves, "That Jarrod, he's a lying, bullshitting, wind- up merchant....."

    Could we have a photo to confirm or deny our suspicions, preferably clothed.
  12. And here he is:-

    Attached Files:

  13. I know what they are all thinking I've fabulous legs.