I've found that the best way to sort them is to eat any compo in large quantities, the resulting sh*te in about 5 days time bursts them all, hey presto! Ragged arse, but the relief when they have gone is incredible, then shove half a 500 gram box of alum up yer ricker to shrink the rest.....job done!
Having read the book, "Self surgery" might I suggest the following...
You will need
Bull nosed pliers x 1
Snipe nosed pliers (clamping type) x 1
Nail clippers large x 1
Soldering iron x 1
Large bucket x 1
Strong bleach (or any acidic liquid)
Clean towel x 1
Pull offending grapes away from the body with the bull nosed pliers, then an inch or two up the attached stringy bit, attach the clamping pliers.
Then snip offending grapes off with nail clippers, and quarterize open end with the soldering iron.
Fill the bucket with strong bleach/acidic liquid, and sit in it for half an hour or, until you regain consciousness and then dry with clean towel.
No Sh1t Sherlock, I must have had a different doc.
I didn't see the implement he used to widen my asshole to enable him and his team to 'ave a look see from my feotal postion on his couch, but, if I had I wouldn't have let him anywhere near my ringpiece.