Online Dating!

#1
Okay fellow Arrsers, im on leave bored silly so i am doing a bit of online internet "shopping" - Dating site..Heard about it so thought id take a peek and see what clout is available!

came across this profile - im sorry but i cannot understand a bloody word!

what i can make out she wants a fook buddy,of black origin! has any of the usual callsigns had any online dating experiance! if so do share!!

I cant say i have any hobbys. i like chillin with my friends an spendin time with ma family. i luv meetin new ppl. i like watchin scary movies coz they keep me on the edge of ma seat lmao. i live fa music listen 2 lots a different kinds.... rnb, dnb, hip hop iz ma favourite. luv ice cubes old stuff an snoops oldies. luv 2pac like reggae ex. morgan heritage an obviously mi man BoB mArLeY. I listen 2 t.i, lil wayne, t-pain, an i luv luda. . . theres many more. I mus add that i dont deal wiv white men much an much prefer mixed/black men. U WHITE DUDES NEED 2 READ THIS CLEARLY!!!! U R NOT ALL DYSLEXIC!!! As fa appearances im sum1 who believes thy count 4alot. . . I dont want no tramps or ugly ppl messagin me lol i'll write it again in caps. . . NO UGLYS AN NO TRAMPS!!!! Im not shallow i jus hav standards an aint nuttin wrong wiv havin standards baby. As fa my body etc i have a gr8 body,im slim, toned but still got tittys lol. im vry fit an hav lots a stamina. also im confident, out-goin, lively an out spoken which iz not always a benefit lmao im spontaneous an do lots a things on impulse. I gotta say if ya lookin 4a girlfriend then im probably not the 1fa u tho if sum1 sexy, genuine, honest an treated me like a queen came along who nose where tings can end up. If i met mr rite then i wood be loyal sumthin i aint iz a cheater. Im far 2upfront so no need 2cheat plus i do actually hav a conscience. Wen a man can turn mi into wifey material thn hes a lucky man, coz its gonna take a vry special person 2do tht. Bin hurt one 2many times an thts enough fa mi. i dont mind 1nite stands but honestly im lookin fa ppl who can b ma friend wit benefits(wink wink) but thy hav 2understand tht at ths time of my life, im no 1man woman. If u dont drive then prob best u dont holla coz i dont drive which means ppl come 2mi. eventually i wanna b a social worker so gotta study 2get my diploma. Anythin else u wanna no. . . All u gotta do iz ask so i hope 2hear frm sum a u guys soon. XxX if ya status aint hood i aint checkin 4him, beta b street if ya lookin @ mi, i need a soldier an hes got2 stand up fa mi, known ta carry big thangs if ya know wot i mean! if u dont no thn get 2no, sianna iz about 2blow. Thetford b the heart of east anglia lyrically we damage any challenger, take ur breath away like we jus strangled ya man handled ya brrrrrraaaaaaat stand up!!! (an i wuz takin th piss wiv th brrrrrraaaaat
 
#3
Jaysus, the saddest thing here is that this person doesn't come from the Bronx or East LA but the mean streets of...

...Thetford. Innit!
 
#5
Translation:

As fa my body etc i have a gr8 body,im slim, toned but still got tittys lol. im vry fit an hav lots a stamina. also im confident, out-goin, lively an out spoken which iz not always a benefit lmao im spontaneous an do lots a things on impulse. I gotta say if ya lookin 4a girlfriend then im probably not the 1fa u tho

As for my body etc. I have a great body, I'm slim, toned but still have sizeable breasts (mishaped, fat and melons). I'm very fit and have lots of stamina (can run 25m before needing a fag). I am also confident (cocky), outgoing (in your face), lively (violent) and out spoken (gobby chav) which is not always a benefit. I'm spontaneous (don't think about my actions) and do many things on impulse. I've got to say, if you're looking for a girlfriend then I'm probably not the one for you (slag).

Do you have a picture of this poor excuse for a human?
 
#7
slopey_shoulders said:
Okay fellow Arrsers, im on leave bored silly so i am doing a bit of online internet "shopping" - Dating site..Heard about it so thought id take a peek and see what clout is available!

came across this profile - im sorry but i cannot understand a bloody word!

what i can make out she wants a fook buddy,of black origin! has any of the usual callsigns had any online dating experiance! if so do share!!

As fa my body etc i have a gr8 body,im slim, toned but still got tittys lol. im vry fit an hav lots a stamina. also im confident, out-goin, lively an out spoken which iz not always a benefit lmao im spontaneous an do lots a things on impulse. I gotta say if ya lookin 4a girlfriend then im probably not the 1fa u
...........coz I already 'ave meat n 2 veg.........!

:D
 
#10
Ferkin ell, i have no idea on what she is saying, cheers for the translation SOF.
 
#17
Oh no, she only wants a black guy! Do black guys even want her? Not such a great loss if she doesn't want a white guy.
 
#19
jack-daniels said:
Where it says 'plenty of fish' on the photos does that mean that her lady parts stink of em?
plenty of fish is the name of a dating site :wink: fancy not knowing that
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
She probably wants a Black guy as she believes the stories and her clunge is like a frayed Wizard's sleeve. Scutter.
 
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