Online Dating!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by slopey_shoulders, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. Okay fellow Arrsers, im on leave bored silly so i am doing a bit of online internet "shopping" - Dating site..Heard about it so thought id take a peek and see what clout is available!

    came across this profile - im sorry but i cannot understand a bloody word!

    what i can make out she wants a fook buddy,of black origin! has any of the usual callsigns had any online dating experiance! if so do share!!

    I cant say i have any hobbys. i like chillin with my friends an spendin time with ma family. i luv meetin new ppl. i like watchin scary movies coz they keep me on the edge of ma seat lmao. i live fa music listen 2 lots a different kinds.... rnb, dnb, hip hop iz ma favourite. luv ice cubes old stuff an snoops oldies. luv 2pac like reggae ex. morgan heritage an obviously mi man BoB mArLeY. I listen 2 t.i, lil wayne, t-pain, an i luv luda. . . theres many more. I mus add that i dont deal wiv white men much an much prefer mixed/black men. U WHITE DUDES NEED 2 READ THIS CLEARLY!!!! U R NOT ALL DYSLEXIC!!! As fa appearances im sum1 who believes thy count 4alot. . . I dont want no tramps or ugly ppl messagin me lol i'll write it again in caps. . . NO UGLYS AN NO TRAMPS!!!! Im not shallow i jus hav standards an aint nuttin wrong wiv havin standards baby. As fa my body etc i have a gr8 body,im slim, toned but still got tittys lol. im vry fit an hav lots a stamina. also im confident, out-goin, lively an out spoken which iz not always a benefit lmao im spontaneous an do lots a things on impulse. I gotta say if ya lookin 4a girlfriend then im probably not the 1fa u tho if sum1 sexy, genuine, honest an treated me like a queen came along who nose where tings can end up. If i met mr rite then i wood be loyal sumthin i aint iz a cheater. Im far 2upfront so no need 2cheat plus i do actually hav a conscience. Wen a man can turn mi into wifey material thn hes a lucky man, coz its gonna take a vry special person 2do tht. Bin hurt one 2many times an thts enough fa mi. i dont mind 1nite stands but honestly im lookin fa ppl who can b ma friend wit benefits(wink wink) but thy hav 2understand tht at ths time of my life, im no 1man woman. If u dont drive then prob best u dont holla coz i dont drive which means ppl come 2mi. eventually i wanna b a social worker so gotta study 2get my diploma. Anythin else u wanna no. . . All u gotta do iz ask so i hope 2hear frm sum a u guys soon. XxX if ya status aint hood i aint checkin 4him, beta b street if ya lookin @ mi, i need a soldier an hes got2 stand up fa mi, known ta carry big thangs if ya know wot i mean! if u dont no thn get 2no, sianna iz about 2blow. Thetford b the heart of east anglia lyrically we damage any challenger, take ur breath away like we jus strangled ya man handled ya brrrrrraaaaaaat stand up!!! (an i wuz takin th piss wiv th brrrrrraaaaat
     
  2. Please tell me you made this up and there isn't a real person behind this profile.
     
  3. Jaysus, the saddest thing here is that this person doesn't come from the Bronx or East LA but the mean streets of...

    ...Thetford. Innit!
     
  4. On my word this is a pukka profile posted on a well known dating site!
     
  5. Translation:

    As fa my body etc i have a gr8 body,im slim, toned but still got tittys lol. im vry fit an hav lots a stamina. also im confident, out-goin, lively an out spoken which iz not always a benefit lmao im spontaneous an do lots a things on impulse. I gotta say if ya lookin 4a girlfriend then im probably not the 1fa u tho

    As for my body etc. I have a great body, I'm slim, toned but still have sizeable breasts (mishaped, fat and melons). I'm very fit and have lots of stamina (can run 25m before needing a fag). I am also confident (cocky), outgoing (in your face), lively (violent) and out spoken (gobby chav) which is not always a benefit. I'm spontaneous (don't think about my actions) and do many things on impulse. I've got to say, if you're looking for a girlfriend then I'm probably not the one for you (slag).

    Do you have a picture of this poor excuse for a human?
     
  6. this is the thing!
     

    Attached Files:

  7. ...........coz I already 'ave meat n 2 veg.........!

    :D
     
  8. yh bruv tht sket is well f!t enit, wud def giv it her....NOT

    She says she has a great body, what an aboslute disappointment
     
  9. Charming Lass, will take her home to meet Mama!

    Chin Chin!
     
  10. Ferkin ell, i have no idea on what she is saying, cheers for the translation SOF.
     
  11. fuckinell golem's sister :lol:
     
  12. I'd throw her a length. After all, she passes the checklist.
     
  13. Whats on the checklist?
    Chav?
    Human?
    Alive?
     
  14. Where it says 'plenty of fish' on the photos does that mean that her lady parts stink of em?
     
  15. a length of rope?