Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by samain11, Jan 14, 2013.

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  1. Interesting how the great and good like them whilst being fucking careful not to be seen in one..where are the long lens papparazzi when you need them....or are they all lying bastards?? just asking like.
  2. Go to sleep wetpants. No one cares.
    • Like Like x 7
  3. Has someone released a huge cloud of Mong Gas upwind of the UK?
    • Like Like x 4
  4. After Flid Friday, Mong Monday.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Yup..and it appears I got a right fucking lungfull..
  6. It occurred on the evening before Waterloo
    And troops were lined up on Parade,
    And Sergeant inspecting 'em, he was a terror
    Of whom every man was afraid​
    All excepting one man who was in the front rank,
    A man by the name of Sam Small,
    And 'im and the Sergeant were both 'daggers drawn',
    They thought 'nowt' of each other at all.​
    As Sergeant walked past he was swinging his arm,
    And he happened to brush against Sam,
    And knocking his musket clean out of his hand
    It fell to the ground with a slam.​
    Pick it oop,' said Sergeant, abrupt like but cool,
    But Sam with a shake of his head Said,
    'Seeing as tha' knocked it out of me hand,
    P'raps tha'll pick the thing oop instead.'​
    'Sam, Sam, pick Oop tha' musket,'
    The Sergeant exclaimed with a roar.
    Sam said Tha' knocked it doon, Reet!
    then tha'll pick it oop, or it stays where it is, on't floor.'​
    The sound of high words
    Very soon reached the ears of an Officer, Lieutenant Bird,
    Who says to the Sergeant, 'Now what's all this 'ere?'
    And the Sergeant told what had occurred.​
    San. Sam, pick oop tha' musket,'
    Lieutenant exclaimed with some heat.
    Sam said He knocked it doon, Reet! then he'll pick it oop,
    Or it stays where it is, at me feet.'​
    It caused quite a stir when the Captain arrived
    To find out the cause of the trouble;
    And every man there, all excepting Old Sam,
    Was full of excitement and bubble.​
    Sam. Sam, pick oop tha' musket,'
    Said Captain for strictness renowned.
    Sam said He knocked it doon, Reet! Then' he'll pick it oop,
    or it stays where it is on't ground.​
    The same thing occurred when the Major and Colonel
    Both tried to get Sam to see sense,
    When Old Duke o' Wellington came into view,
    Well, the excitement was tense.'​
    Up rode the Duke on a lovely white 'orse,
    To find out the cause of the bother;
    He looks at the musket and then at old Sam
    And he talked to Old Sam like a brother,​
    'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket,'
    The Duke said as quiet as could be,
    'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket
    Coom on, lad, just to please me.'​
    'Airight, Duke,' said Old Sam, 'just for thee I'll oblige,
    And to show thee I meant no offence.'
    So Sam picked it up, 'Gradeley, lad,' said the Duke,
    'Right-o, boys, let battle commence.'
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Onesies are for women with no self respect and poofs with no self respect. Proper shitcunt rig.
    • Like Like x 7
  8. I've got me bezzies on.
  9. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    FFS! How long have you been here and you still have grasped the simplest concept! PICTURES me lass, PICTURES! x
  10. Oh, I'm sorry, are there not enough in the Gallery for you?

    I'll be the fatty with the pink shoes on with the attitude.

    You dick.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. I'm going to kill you, fella.

    When I wake up......
  12. Is that a camel toe?
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Tasted good to me when i tried it
  14. I had a conversation with a non gender twat in the office a couple of weeks ago.
    He / it was trying to make out that they were cool and that everyone would soon have one.
    I asked him what the weather was like on his planet.

    I cannot believe that a country that once boasted one of the most widespread and powerful empires ever has degenerated to the level that allows a grown adult to wear a fucking romper suit (unless they are into perverted adult baby sex).

    I have even seen cunts walking around in public whilst wearing these abortion, and not a social carer in sight!

    Fuckers should be shot.
    • Like Like x 4
  15. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    20 odd years ago I bought her a onsie sleepy thing mainly because it had poppers on the front so were incredibly nork friendly and she was after all only 17-18 so her wondering about with the front open was a nice thing to watch :)

    she allways complained she was cold at night.

    2 years ago she finally got her own back with a camo one for me. allthough thinking on I did get a german fleece lined tank suit one year as well if that counts.