One Wish...what would it be?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by NurseyMai, Mar 24, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. So…if you had one wish, what would it be?

    Ignoring the standard ones like winning the lottery, or wishing I’d fuck off and die in creative circumstances.

    As is customary I’ll begin…I wish I had been born with interior design skills….while trying to dress my house for sale this morning I realised I have absolutely no idea what to buy or where to put it…I left the shop with one picture and some expensive twigs. Why I thought that would do the job I have no idea!
     
  2. At the moment it is to see Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak dipped slowly into a blast furnace.

    Yes, I know Jobs is dead, I don't care - my hatred of Apple knows no bounds.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. My Fairy Godmother gave me a wish, I could have a big dick or a long memory... I forget what I wished for now.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  4. I wish the current batch of frumpy cock hunters would be replaced by women who aren't damaged goods.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Based on the fact that we worked out yesterday that you are someone's sockpuppet, it now appears you have come out of the closet as a raving tunnel tester.

    "Interior design skills" "dress my house"? Poof.
     
  6. I wish my cum tasted like chocolate.
     
  7. The worrying part is you know it doesnt........................
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Whose hilarious sockpuppet is it then?
     
  9. If it looks like chocolate, you're doing it wrong.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. I wish I could go back to when I was ten years old but retain all my memories and experiences. Mind you, I'd probably be sectioned.

    Again.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. 1. It's not hilarious.
    2. It's not me. I'm watching Doc Martin.

    If I had one wish, I'd wish for World Peas, Fish and Chips.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Not a brewery next door, with a pipe running through the wall to your gaff then?
     
  13. Oooh, look, another so called hilarious post.

    We haven't even got a shop in our village, unless you count the Nail Bar. Do you need your tips doing?

    Besides which, we tried that pipe thing the other Christmas. This was the debris.

    PICT0778.jpg
     
  14. Back under your rock, you bell-end.

    Whose sockpuppet is nursey Mai?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. I'm not a sockpuppet...I'm just a bit different is all