One that made me gag

#61
Ernie said:
Its called freckles
Yeah, you're right, I just couldn't remember the name. The gobbing on the window had a "proper" name too but can't remember what it was either. Still they were a good laugh, though better to watch than to play unless, that is, you wanted to build up your "animal" rep. :)
 
#62
Just remembered some episodes from 45 Fd Regt Wksp around 1978/79. The first took place in a bar in Bergen playing shock, the round being escordial (sp) (that horrid green drink which they set on fire). Anyway, a CE Tech (egged on by a good lad, but nutter, Geordie Cunningham) decided he could drink it without blowing out the flame first. Needless to say halfway through he realised that he couldn't and pulled the glass away from his lips. The burning liquid spilt down his chin etc. What a f*ckin' laugh. And the poor sod had to walk around for the next few weeks with a goattee shaped scab for his troubles. Who says techs have no common sense? :)

The next was in the Wksp bar when an RAOC lad who had a habit of getting his dick out when he was pissed decided to again do so. As usual he was walking around offering it to people to suck. Again, as usual, no-one seemed to be too interested in taking up such a "generous" offer, that is, until he came to another RAOC lad (a monster of a rugby player). Suffice to say his blow job became a bite job and required 10 stiches to repair his bell end. Being a pad though, he told the MO that it was his wife who had injured him. As luck would have it though, a week later his wife had flu and went to see the Doc. She couldn't quite understand why everyone in the Med Centre was looking at her and sniggering.
 
#63
I just fessed up a story about one of the lads jeffing his pants at his leaving do, so I thought to myself i wonder if MDN has posted anything on this thread about myself. Surely not, not with him being my bezzer from the mob.

Low and behold he has fessed to all about one of my proudest moments upon this said earth!CNUT.

Well it 'tis late here in the land of the Lone Star State but I will fess up the very first instance 2morrow about the very first occurance about my porchant for creamy chunder that nailed my reputation to the top of the AAC's Guidon!
 
#64
When bored one of the lads for entertainment ,would stuff a plastic bag up his nose and then pull one end out of his mouth and use the bag like dental floss.
Drake if your out there i don't want to see it again, or the vomit drinking.
 
#66
Insp_Wexford said:
I used to do that with a condom! The only problem being it used to fcuck the back of my throat for ages!
Only because there was still a c0ck in the johnny
 
#67
I remember one full screw (now a civvie) took the Badges pint with him to the toilet after a screws mess do and shit in it, one of the funniest things I have ever seen!!
 
#68
sorry but if you think that is bad have you ever played pass the mars bar, if not here are the basic rules
1. buy a mars bar.
2. form a orderly line (5 or more people needed for this game).
3. first person to chew the mars mars .
4. before the mars bar gets passed on the said person can anything he wants to it (things like fag butts,phlem or anything else that comes to mind)
5. mars bar to be passes on by mouth only.
6. to be repeted until someone cant do it any more.
7. the looser has to pay for the next round of beer.

if you like this one let me know and will post some more horrid games for you.
 
#69
I used to play "P*ss Roulett" at company/wksp do's went along the lines of:

The usual crates would be lying around, and i would take a bottle out, carefully remove the lid. I would then drink the beer and then return it via my bladder into the bottle. The lid would be replaced and the bottle returned to the crate to cool down.

The Roulett part came as no one else knew what bottle i had done it to!

You just had to wait for the sudden hurl as someone discovered half way through the bottle that it wasnt beer!!! LOL

I also had the habit of doing this when I was sober and duty minibus driver for other functions!!!!

Well on the fellers that didnt bat an eyelid but carried on drinking!!
 
#70
One of my boys (loooong tme ago) needed to lose the ol' cherry and his muckers took him into Limassol having had a whip round. However, the lads, having stumped up the cash, thought they'd go first, having stumped up the cash. So, in goes aforementioned virgin with instructions to professional to do the do.
Later, when recounting the most memorabl night of his life to date (and probably since) he remarked how he did everything they did in the video: 'I went down on her... everything.'
Outstanding.
 
#71
Sniper_Bird said:
Coming back from Inverness on camp last year, we endured an 18hour journey in convoy.
After a few hours, we pulled into a sort of picnic area that had a little shop. However, everything was closed and some of us were in desperate need of the toilet. Now it's ok for men just wanting a urine, because they just choose the nearest tree, but for those men wanting a sh1t, it was more difficult.
So, there we were, all standing around the trailer chatting and one of the blokes is crouched down among us, with a rather strained look on his face. Several seconds and tissue paper later - he stands up holding a dustbin lid aloft, with a big steaming turd on it! He had had a sh1t while we were all talking around him, then proceeded to share his creation with us all.
I was physically sick at this point.



The same man, in the bar one night, got another lad to barf in a glass, which he then drank! This caused not only me to be sick, but two other GROWN men!  ;D  
I will not say what we did with our desert boots after passing out of para training. yet every thing went into one and that was drunk by one and all. Still makes me wanna puke thinking about it. :)
 
#72
Back in the mists of time, when I was serving my formative years in the army, a few mates and I started a rather interesting and enjoyable sport.

We were stationed at a barracks in a small village in northern Germany on Luneberg Heath right in the middle of the biggest artillery and tank ranges in Europe, and I'm sure the constant whine of shells passing over heads daily had some sort of psychological effect on us, either that or it was the consumption of the copious supply of alcohol.

Now, just outside the front gates of the barracks was a Gasthaus called the Sportsplatz, although how it got sports in title still escapes me, as the only strenous activity to occur other than the usual pub pastimes of pool and darts etc, was the raising and lowering of the right arm passing the golden liquid via a glass, from the bar to the mouth.

During our bouts of no military exercises or tours of duty, peacetime soldiering can sometimes get a bit boring, and our days consisted of making sure you were on parade at 8am (quite a feat when you've been on the razz all night), just to show your face to those in charge, followed by sloping off to to your various areas of work (I use the term work loosely). My particular occupation at this time was the Battery Armourer, which meant I locked myself away in a concrete secure bunker, to repair and maintain various flavours of small arms and other paraphanalia of war.

In truth I curled up under a table, out of line of sight of the security spy hole in the thick steel doors, and slept off my hangovers until about 10.30am whereby we would all meet up for a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea, strong enough to stand the spoon up in at the NAAFI. This last for about 20 minutes and then we would slope off again to our respective skiving areas. Lunchtime consisted of meeting up again in the NAAFI bar to consume as much alcohol as we could get away with in one hour, whilst not creating too much suspicion to anyone of authority who we might encounter during afternoon skiving. Then it was back to the armoury for me and under my table until 4.30pm when the official work day finished for those fortunate enough to not be captured by the guard duty roster. It was then back to our accomodation for a quick shower, change into civilian clothes, and back down to the Sportsplatz to continue from where we had left off at about 7am that morning!!

Here is the interesting sport part: Moth Eating competitions. This involves surrounding the pool tables and lining up as many glasses of German Bier as one could afford, sitting on chairs with elbows on the edge the pool tables, and catching as many moths of varying sizes and juicyness, that were attracted to the low pool table lights, and consuming as many as one could, with score being kept by a referee. The bier was an essential tool of this sport, as the dust on the wings of moths can dry you out quite quickly, and not all moths taste the same, I think it depends on what the flappy little beasties have been eating. The action continued until either the moths depleted (unlikely as the windows were normally open) one of the contestants passed out, or someone threw up, (both the latter happened regularly) but it was tremendous fun. We would then be either woken up or moved on by the cleaning staff at around 7am, bright and ready for another exciting day defending our country from the threat of invasion by the Russian hordes!

A few years later, having been demoted to civvy street, and whilst working at a garage, my fellow workers and I very often spent our lunch break in summer time, eating our sandwiches lounging on a grass bank outside of our work premises. I had related the above story of my moth eating exploits to my workmates, and one in particular took offense to this and proclaimed that it was all bullshit. So during one of these lunch breaks it was noticed there were large clusters of Crane Flies gathered in the grass of the bank where we having our lunch. In front of our dissenting colleague, I scooped up a large handful of these Crane Flies and slapped then in between the two sides of one of my sandwiches. You can picture it with all these legs wriggling about sticking out from the side of my sandwich. I then made a great show of eating it heartily, at which point the doubting colleague promptly threw up all down the embankment. Made my day!!! I'm not in the habit of bullshitting.

My first post!! Hi guys and girls :D
 
#73
coming back from strannrae in scotland, about 1985 i think, ( memory bit vague) in back of a 4tonny everyones dying for a piss and no sign of stopping, we took the seats out and started pissing through the holes in the floor. can you imagine the laughter at all the cars behind with their windywipers going like mad. :twisted:

eat shit piss be HAPPY
Sniper_Bird said:
Coming back from Inverness on camp last year, we endured an 18hour journey in convoy.
After a few hours, we pulled into a sort of picnic area that had a little shop. However, everything was closed and some of us were in desperate need of the toilet. Now it's ok for men just wanting a urine, because they just choose the nearest tree, but for those men wanting a sh1t, it was more difficult.
So, there we were, all standing around the trailer chatting and one of the blokes is crouched down among us, with a rather strained look on his face. Several seconds and tissue paper later - he stands up holding a dustbin lid aloft, with a big steaming turd on it! He had had a sh1t while we were all talking around him, then proceeded to share his creation with us all.
I was physically sick at this point.

The same man, in the bar one night, got another lad to barf in a glass, which he then drank! This caused not only me to be sick, but two other GROWN men!  ;D  
 
#74
mizkrissi said:
Yes it is due to the antipsychotic medications. They disrupt a lot more than the voices in the head :D

Do you think the voices may have been saying "Go for a poo" :? 8O
 
#75
i downloaded the film " the number 23" expecting it to be the likable jim carey in a more serious role.Started the film to find four asian ladies sat around a pretend classroom.Hang on thought i this looks like it may be better than the original.Next thing i know two of the chicks are cr**ping into the others mouths.i must admit i really did gag.
I fastfowarded the film only to see three of the chicks then barf into the other birds mouths and proceed to force her to eat it.i did , like any true soldier, manage to watch it again to ascertain that there was no jim carey.there wasn,t
 
#76
joobs said:
Just remembered some episodes from 45 Fd Regt Wksp around 1978/79. The first took place in a bar in Bergen playing shock, the round being escordial (sp) (that horrid green drink which they set on fire). Anyway, a CE Tech (egged on by a good lad, but nutter, Geordie Cunningham) decided he could drink it without blowing out the flame first. Needless to say halfway through he realised that he couldn't and pulled the glass away from his lips. The burning liquid spilt down his chin etc. What a f*ckin' laugh. And the poor sod had to walk around for the next few weeks with a goattee shaped scab for his troubles. Who says techs have no common sense? :)

The next was in the Wksp bar when an RAOC lad who had a habit of getting his dick out when he was pissed decided to again do so. As usual he was walking around offering it to people to suck. Again, as usual, no-one seemed to be too interested in taking up such a "generous" offer, that is, until he came to another RAOC lad (a monster of a rugby player). Suffice to say his blow job became a bite job and required 10 stiches to repair his bell end. Being a pad though, he told the MO that it was his wife who had injured him. As luck would have it though, a week later his wife had flu and went to see the Doc. She couldn't quite understand why everyone in the Med Centre was looking at her and sniggering.
So what excuse did he give her for having half his kn0b missing?
 
#77
Watching one of the lads in the block shit onto a spoon and then another lad ate it, solely for a £10 bet that he woulnt eat a sh1t sandwich without throwing up (go and eat a shit sandwich was his favourite saying), I was holding the camera that was filming the whole affair, it was all going so well until i zoomed in onto his mouth, at which point the sight of sh1t being chewed made me drop the camera and throw up alles uber der platz, as did all the rest of the lads. He never did get the £10 though, i think times like this just prove that squaddies are social retards!! (ah well we enjoy ourselves)
 
#78
Was at RAF Chessington several yrs back in rehab recovering from a severe back injury. There was a beautiful RAF bird there by the name of Fiona. One night in the NAAFI she was a bit pisched and she stood on the table, opened her legs, pulled her thong to oneside and exposed her beautiful shaven camel toed pussy and proceded to p!ss into the pint mug she was holding. Then passed it around for all us lads to have a swig, and look out if we didn't. Good job I'm into watersports.

BT.
 
#79
burnleybootboy said:
i downloaded the film " the number 23" expecting it to be the likable jim carey in a more serious role.Started the film to find four asian ladies sat around a pretend classroom.Hang on thought i this looks like it may be better than the original.Next thing i know two of the chicks are cr**ping into the others mouths.i must admit i really did gag.
I fastfowarded the film only to see three of the chicks then barf into the other birds mouths and proceed to force her to eat it.i did , like any true soldier, manage to watch it again to ascertain that there was no jim carey.there wasn,t
Try 2 girls 1 cup :p
 
#80
Some years ago back inth old days, we had a right gungy cnut in our block, he went on leave for a week which gave us ample time to have a giggle
The giggle consisted of getting bladerly wankered, removing the bed covers on his bed and one by one curling one off
When your being encouraged by six howling drunk blokes all pissin them selves laughing its hard, it's even harder try not to get your feet covered in shite while crouching on an army bed straining your kebab out.
Fuk me, it stunk in there the next day
 

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