One that made me gag



Coming back from Inverness on camp last year, we endured an 18hour journey in convoy.
After a few hours, we pulled into a sort of picnic area that had a little shop. However, everything was closed and some of us were in desperate need of the toilet. Now it's ok for men just wanting a piss, because they just choose the nearest tree, but for those men wanting a sh1t, it was more difficult.
So, there we were, all standing around the trailer chatting and one of the blokes is crouched down among us, with a rather strained look on his face. Several seconds and tissue paper later - he stands up holding a dustbin lid aloft, with a big steaming turd on it! He had had a sh1t while we were all talking around him, then proceeded to share his creation with us all.
I was physically sick at this point.

The same man, in the bar one night, got another lad to barf in a glass, which he then drank! This caused not only me to be sick, but two other GROWN men!  ;D  


But you lot go down on a woman, and we women know what goes on down there - particularly at certain times of the month, I wouldn't do it! I could never be a rug muncher!


of course you could always go out with a woman on the injection pill. Kill two birds with one stone - you're protected from having sprogs and over time, the woman's periods stop!!  How cool is that? Best invention ever!!


War Hero
Espeshly when used in a timely for weekends leave and that, always been impressed with that, mind you we have "lager" getting ugly wimmin laid since 1840! which ensures the gentleman is able to perform, not forgetting the beer goggles!
Worst thing I endured was a pte who asked me for permission to speak to the MO. When I asked him why he said:

"well I pulled some minger last night, and I went back to her place and she asked me to shag her up the arrse, anyway when I finfinshed giving her one, I pulled me knob out and there was a bit of corn stuck in me Jap's eye, and it hurts when I pi55".

"Hmmmmmmmm" said I feeling rather queasy and watery of the eyes, take yourself off to the MO!
The other thing to make me go "UUUUURGH!" is that she-male thing with it's dick chopped off flying round in the Merlin fleet at BZN
we were all up the bar one night for one of the lads leaving drinks, well the yard of ale came out so he had to stand on a table, all the cheering started and people placing bets on how long it would take for him to drink it. anyways it starts drinking it quite fast until he gets to the bubble bit of the yard glass where upon he vomited gyros chunks up the glass straight into the bubble which made half the bar gag, then to finish it off he carried on drinking and swallowing the chunks at the same time until he had finished. which made the rest of the bar gag but he recieved the good old saying `well in there what a good lad´ 8) 8) 8) 8)
If you're thinking of the same freckle that im thinking of then its a real "shit"game.  ;D
God censorship gone crazy, thought i'd get away with that. Wot i mean of course is, real "sh#t" game.  Lets see if that gets through!!!
dambusters.....gets you arrested in yer local playing it!
Picture the scene, night out in Blackpool with new Civvy workmates, all prim & proper people with positions of management and responsibility.

Ruth Rendall appears, after several beers and stories we leave the pub and make our way to a club.

En route we have to avoid a large pile of vomit left earlier by a partygoer. Ruth, heavily under the influence at this stage is straggling behind, a member of our party turns round to give him a shout.

A loud holler and immediate wretching begins. Ruth is on his hands and knees padding the puke with his hands and eating the pavement pizza. Three of the girls and one of the lads we were out with then proceed to throw up.

This encourages Ruth further who finds his second wind and sprints up to us all covered in puke and tucks into his desert, a mixture of four people fresh warm sick.

Needless to say he was refused entry to the club and had to walk back to my house for a shower.l

When i return home later on I found him naked asleep on the couch in the inevitable puddle of piss.

My mate Ruth how proud of him I am.  

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