one sheet

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
#3
She does have a point. Most femails friggin mumify themselves in it every time they wipe the badly stuffed kebab. I spend a friggin fortune on the stuff
 
#4
She looks like she should take her face for a sh1t... :lol:

One sheet my Arrse,
id keep poking my finger through it and give myself a
little ring dhobi... :wink:
 
#5
Think back to your army training when you got the 24hr rat packs with the little envelope of tracing paper (hmmm...how absorbent :roll: )

DS - "you only need one sheet.....and that's to wipe your finger" Still use that one on civvies....has them retching :)

DS even gave a demo (not of the wiping bit). Fold the sheet twice, tear a small centre corner out....unfold.......finger through the hole and the sheet is ready for action.
 
#6
Anyone remember the sh1t roll they used to have in the schools? It was like fcuking tracing paperand did nothing but smear it up your arrse and the small of the back. Anyway getting back to the original point I use three sheets: 1 up, 1 down and 1 to shine.
 
#7
She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a "dining sleeve".

The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve" after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth.
Now what other uses could you put that to? Has she designed this sleeve on a generous scale? perhaps along the lines of a wizards costume... (insert your own punchline here)
 
#9
msr said:
http://www.ciao.co.uk/Izal_Toilet_Paper__5602624

msr
We need the bird that wrote that review on ARRSE. I suspect she'd fit right in!
 
#11
Fcuking nonsense. The existence of any form of anal beard or general fluff will render even the strongest loo roll into a stinging mass of twisted and knotted tissue entanglements. a minimum of two sheets doubled over is required.
 
#12
stabandswat said:
Anyone remember the sh1t roll they used to have in the schools? It was like fcuking tracing paperand did nothing but smear it up your arrse and the small of the back. Anyway getting back to the original point I use three sheets: 1 up, 1 down and 1 to shine.
John Wayne :?

http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/John_Wayne
 
#13
Well if she hadn't taken that bus for a tour of the US she could have had a nice big dump and used plenty of paper to clean up.

Look after your ring and your ring will look after you.
 
#14
If she really wants to help save the environment then I will give up using toilet paper...

...As long as she licks my ring clean after I've had a good dump!

CC_TA
 

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