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One piece of advice...

Take loads of 1, 5, 10, 25 and 50 cent coins (US). When the EFI set up at Shaibah, nobody (EFI included) had any coins so you were obliged to buy cheap junk that you didn't want to bring the bill up to the next full dollar. It was a situation that lasted over a month.

A lot of their stock had been price-labelled in NAAFI shops around the world. Whatever the label said ended up being the price you paid in dollars. Some of the stuff that had been sitting in German stock rooms for donkey years had been marked in DM and was thus quite expensive. Thankfully, they didn't have anything marked in Lira from Italy.
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Never, ever let the Duty Swerve anywhere near the USBL pole when it's time to lower it after a portcall.

(See avatar for details).
You've just handed your kit in and your in your civvies now just before walking out the gate, a group of Nigs are about to embark on the bus to RAF Houlton to be deployed to Afghanistan where they will spend majority of time in Helmand Provice in an FOB, your a battle hardened Brecon Infanteer whom did multiple tours of Herrick and Telic yet a man of few words, and the wisdom you do dispense is legendary...

What's the one piece of advice you'd give to these Nigs if they ask? (or if your addressing them during pre-deployment training back when you were in the mob

This classic one liner from Legionnaire starring Jean Claude Van Damme is pure gold

Sergeant Steinkampf (Steven Berkoff): "I suggest you keep one bullet in your pocket not for the enemy, but for yourselves..."

View attachment 494154

Never finger a bird straight after chopping Jalapeno peppers, she won't thank you for it
That film Legionnaire was actually an entertaining watch... 2/5 overall

It was the line about the one bullet coupled with the 1000 yard stare that gave me a giggle
Never finger a bird straight after chopping Jalapeno peppers, she won't thank you for it
I didn't know you were a chef when you were in the mob. How can you live down the shame? :? (And what is your views on sausages at brekke? One or two? :? )

And don't take your contact lenses out after chopping Jalapenos... as I once did.

If were offering chilli chopping advice - when chopping scotch bonnets wear latex gloves

Washing your hands no matter how thoroughly** does not i repeat does NOT work. nor does washing them repeatedly.

Oh you may think youve done a decent job of it - but the moment you go for a piss you will be enlightened - and no amount of cold water rinsing the newly afflicted are in the shower helps -

I would go so far as to suggest that chopping scotch bonnets sans gloves is a win for EM

**not an easy word to spell


When you're ordered onto the bus, just don't bother. Go and have a smoke or something, because everybody will be getting off it shortly and you can have a good chuckle.

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