One Liners

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by LazyCaretaker, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Tons of One-Liners

    Why do tigers live in the jungle?
    They hate city traffic.

    Where do polar bears vote?
    The North Poll.

    What did the limestone say to the geologist?
    Stop taking me for granite.

    Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes?
    In case he got a hole in one.

    What did one wall say to the other?
    I'll meet you at the corner.

    When is the moon the heaviest?
    When it is full.

    How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
    Hold his nose.

    What should you do every morning?
    Wake up.

    Why do spiders spin webs?
    Because they can't knit.

    What would you do if you smashed your toe?
    Call a toe truck.

    How do you make a vanilla shake?
    Take it to a scary movie.

    What's better than a talking dog?
    A spelling bee.

    What's the difference between a nickel and a dime?
    Five cents.

    What looks like a horse and flies?
    A flying horse.

    What kind of dog tells time?
    A watch dog.

    What do you give a seasick elephant?
    Lots of room.